Trying to get my 4.5 year old daughter to poo on the toilet. Does this deserve a sticker ?

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, my daughter is 4.5 and still soils herself every day, up to 6 times some days. She is constantly constipated as what she passes are like small pebbles or rabbit droppings. She will use the toilet if I see her going red in the face and quicky put her on just in time. She then gets excited and pleased with herself that she did it in the toilet.
I am going to do a star chart for the bathroom wall and when she gets 10 stars, she can have the toy tractor she wants for her farm set.
I don't know wether to give her a star when I catch it in time or only for when she does one on her own?
It's not really teaching her if I just mannage to catch it in time, but she seems so pleased with herself. What do you think?

She very rarely does one on her own. Maybe once every 3 weeks.
She is having oil of fig for her constipation.

If she's soiling herself that frequently then she is way too constipated (constipation leads to constant soiling through leakage). The gp put dd on laxitives to stop her deliberately witholding - do you think your daughter is trying to hold her poo in as long as she can? You might want to talk to your hv or gp about how best to ease her chronic constipation. If you deal with that more effectively the rest will tend to follow.

I think you are right that she needs to be encorouged to go on her own and that's where the reward may be useful. We tried EVERYTHING wrt rewards - stickers, stickers leading up to toys - and for us the only thing that worked is a small chocolate treat from a box of assorted goodies.

I've spoken to the HV and have followed all her advice. She has a high fiber, high fruit diet and I'm trying to get her to drink more.
She does hold it at school, and usually poos in the car on the way home. The teacher says she's never done one on the toilet at school.

maybe keep the star system as it is, so she associates pooing on the loo with good things, but give her loads of extra stars if she tells you/makes any effort to get herself to the toilet in time. what arrangements have you got to review the constipation situation with HV? just thinking that it may be appropriate if it doesn't resolve soon to speak to GP and see if a specialist referral might be necessary.

Well, dh assures me that he never once in his life pooed in a school toilet so that in itself is not the core problem - if only she would do one at home!

So it's not that she won't poo - it really is just a toilet aversion? (My dd just stopped pooing altogether ). Any better luck with a potty or travel potty? Dd, at 4.2, is still transitioning from potty to toilet.

We found dd wanted to poo against something - knickers or nappy - but if you left the knickers off at home she would rather go to the potty. We left her bare-bottomed whenever possible and that has got her used to using the potty/toilet (took months of this..... I despaired..).

Message withdrawn

Thanks everyone. I've tried leaving her knickers off and she will just poo on the floor. I will take her to the doctors and see what they say.