Stealing and excessive behaviour

[onefunkymama]

DS (5) and DD (6) have, over the summer holidays, gone on a rampage of stealing (just small things like biscuits, sweets, drinks etc, all the stuff that is rationned in the house.)

They have also started behaving much worse than normal - any naughty behavour has amplified loads. I am hoping that they will 'go back to normal' when term starts again (tomorrow) but Mum's Netters, how do we deal with the stealing and bad behaviour? What's worked for you?

We've tried, time out (which is water off a ducks back), stopping treats such as sweets (seems to have no effect at all), and talking to them explaining why what they are doing is wrong (they are very appologetic then go right off and do it again.) Its getting stressful, all suggestions welcome!

Tell them if they are going to steal then they shan't have any - then go cold turkey. No treats etc in the house for at least a week. If they are not there then they can't steal them.

Of course it means that you will all have to go without. Water to drink and fruit for a snack will do you all some good

I agree - if they can't resist them don't have them in the house. I mean, I like a treat as much as anyone and I'm not what I would call a health nut but we never buy biscuits and we never have sweets in the house, and we don't buy squash.

We have things in the house that we are happy for ds to eat; it's not problem if he 'steals' water, or apple juice!

kids will snack on what's there. Ds will 'pinch' a carrot as a snack. Fine by me.

And yes he does sometimes have sweets bought for him etc but it's as a treat and not in the weekly shop.

Your children aren't problem children; i think (IMHO) that a good 50% of kids would find it too much to resist that stuff if it's in the house and they can reach it. It's the food itself that is the problem

oh and the behaviour thing sorry I ignored that bit in my food rant! Why has time out been 'water off a duck's back' - have they gone sraight on to be naughty again? What kind of things have they been doing?

(BTW I'm sure you're right and that the new term will help alot as they'll be alot more tired etc)

I can see what you are saying maybe the reasont they are pinching stuff is because we don't allow them more than a very small amount of the luxury items.

DS does take apple juice which wouldn't be such a problem if he didn't insist on drinking straight from the carton even though he can reach the cups! That said, fruit juice rots teeth badly and I usually give them one cup of fruit juice in the morning so I guess that might seem like a treat too!

They've been doing things like

Climbing on top of the wardrobe to take a pot of red vaseline which they smeared all over themselves, their clothes and their duvets

Going to the toilet in the garden

Fighting with each other, hyper behaviour inc throwing things, climbing anything they can find (shed, fridge etc)

I have spent the summer doing something everyday with them like going to to playground, days out, picnics etc. And I've had craft projects for them at home but as soon as I stop they seem to go bonkers. Maybe because thay are out of routine they are misbehaving? I suppose that at this age it can be hard to find things to do especially if you are a testoterone pumped 5 year old! I try to give them some time each day to find their own entertainment otherwise they'll never be able to do it.

If he drinks from the carton perhaps buy the little individual ones for now. He will have to put the straw in to access the drink. Or don't have apple juice. It's not necessary if it's a problem.

I just think you have to remember that you are in control of what comes in to the home and simply don't get it if it's a problem

(and hide any absolutely 100% necessary adult Choccy bars VERY well indeed!)

wow they have enjoyed themselves this summer haven't they!

What is it with kids this age, and peeing in the garden?? DS tried to do this! They really are un-reconstructed savages, aren't they!

They do sound as if they have been challenging. And you have clearly been a star this summer, they're lucky kids. Have they had any time at playschemes or anything? 90% of DS' school friends seem to have had a week or two at local playschemes. Possibly it might be worth looking into that for next summer as I think it would give them some structure and exhuast them. I don't think it's a bad thing for them not to be with mum for the whole holiday.

to me it sounds as if you couldn't really have done much more - they've been entertained but have clearly had the capacity to be 'creative' and you've given them time out when necessary. I think be consistent and they will take in your boundaries eventually, and as they mature this silly behaviour will lessen anyway imo.

Yes, was going to buy the small cartons this week. We'll not buy any treats this week at all. One question, the children view fruit as a desirable item (good in my oppinion) and will pinch all the fruit they can lay their hands on. This might not seem like a bad thing but they'll take an apple, nibble enough of it to make it un-keepable, then ditch it and take another ten minutes later. I don't want to restrict access to fruit but what to do about this?

yes, DS has a tendency to this as well. What works for me is I bought one of those 'apple chopper' things, I don't know if you've seen them but you push down on the apple and they core and segment the apple. DS loves the gadget and tries to do it himself, and he's far more likely to eat the segments than a whole apple.

I've got one of those, thought he'd chop his fingers off but I could give it a try !!

Must dash now but thanks for the advice all

My children still ask before helping themselves to a piece of fruit.

You could start a whole new regime - 'no treats in the house this week and if you want a piece of fruit please ask me first' that way you can say no to the second apple if the first one wasn't finished.

Good luck