Health Visitor got my heckles up - breastfeeding 9 month old

[jmontan27]

My HV came to see me today about my 9 month old DS who is very reluctant to eat. Infact, he has only just started to eat purees, even though I started to wean him at 6 months. I have always breast fed him on demand, and he still feeds about 6 times a day from me (some of these "feeds" are very short - less than 3 mins). Bearing in mind he won't take fluids any other way at the moment, despite me trying to introduce a cup, I didn't see anything wrong with this, although I am tired getting up twice a night to feed him still.

Anyway, she said there is no way he is getting enough iron and that a 9 month old only needs 2 breastfeeds a day and asked if I wanted to get the number of feeds I gave him down or whether I thought it would be best to give up b'feeding altogether!
Well, TBH, although I would be happy to cut out the night feeds, I do not want to give up breastfeeding and don't like the way I was made to feel for demand feeding

He is my 3rd DS and DS2 was very similar (didn't really start eating till 11 months) and my HV at that time was very laid back and was of the opinion that he would eat when he became hungry. DS2 is now 3 and eats normally. Now I feel under pressure because she is coming back in a month to see how DS3 is doing.

Anyone else demand fed an older baby? How did you get round the eating issues? How do I stop the HV from interfering? (I am also being made to feel bad for not buying vitamins for him).

DS was only interested in bf until about 8-9 months.
I found the info on Kellymom useful regarding iron, vits etc.
We did BLW and let him go at his own pace. As he ate more food he asked for less bf.
Now at 15 months he eats everything in sight and bf morning and night.
I would ignore HV, she sounds awful (and poorly informed).

I agree with other posters re cancelling the HV. I had an issue with weight gain with dd1. HV made a fuss but when I went for 6 week check up to the doc, he just looked at her chart and said she was following the lowest centile and said she was fine. Made me feel much better. After that I didn't bother with HV's and said that if I was worried about my babies I'd go to the doctor, who know far more than they do. I don't know, IMPE out of around 10 HV'S, I only liked and respected 1 of them.

Just read MrsMattie's response. Agree with don't let her bully you.

I demand breastfed all 3 of mine and they were definitely feeding more than twice a day at 9 months. Still feeding through the night too. In fact they were still feeding more than that when 18 months.

Um, how does anyone NOT demand feed a bf baby????

My DS2 ate shed loads at that age but still BF 6-8 times a day. It is a wonder he didn't look like a beach ball

Sometimes it would be better if HVs just said "you know, I don't know". I think some of them just love the sound of their own voice.

Thanks for all the positive responses (and different opinions too!). Today I thought I would show willing and made sure DS was really hungry (ie he hadn't been breastfed for over 3 hrs each time I offered him solids). After completely rejecting breakfast AND lunch with me spending a considerable amount of time cojoling him, by tea time I decided I would b'feed him first then offer him food. After feeding for a good 15 minutes he was a much happier baby and ate some puree, followed by a yogurt and then sucked on a rusk.

MrsMattie it is interesting to read your FF DD is also slower to wean. I really think there is too much prescriptive advice given out by HVs and that individual variations in the typical pattern are not readily accepted. Another issue I have with my DS is that he is not sitting up yet, which I think is also one of the reasons why he isn't particularly wanting food. I mean, logically, you wouldn't give a baby who can't sit up loads of solid food or they would choke. (Incidentally, I'm not worried that he isn't sitting unaided as our family have all been notoriously slow with gross motor skills.)

Just before I go to bed. Very interesting wthat you say ds is not sitting up properly yet. My ds was the same. He was seen by an SLT (speech and language therapist) and she said that this has a lot to do with general muscle tone and has an effect on eating too as it can mean the muscles in their face aren't yet strong enought to cope with eating as well.

Ds was sitting steadily by about 10/11 months but tbh I think he is just slow to develop in that respect and just wasn't ready for food yet, both physically and mentally. So maybe he just needs more time? Hang in there

Yes, I agree with the sitting theory.
DS took a while to sit without slumping, think it was something to do with his huge bf belly!

I don't think he really became interested in eating until he was comfortable sitting in his high chair and had enough co-ordination and a reliable pincer grip to get the food to his mouth.

There are some people in the medical field who have a subconscious discomfort at the thought of a baby boy bfing and if you choose to bf past the very small baby stage their negative attitudes are often expressed as concern for the wellbeing of the baby, need for iron, funny growth patterns, blah blah. The growth of your baby depends on genetics to a large extent -- how tall are you and the baby's father? Sometimes children of tall or big parents will eat a lot, while children of smaller parents don't. They are probably programmed that way. Keep on offering solids, even your own meals that are pureed; babyfood from jars tastes so like flavoured cardboard boxes I'm surprised anyone would eat it. Put off the HV when she wants to visit again, and lie to her about everything sorting itself out.

Dalrymps, that's interesting what the SLT said about sitting up and general muscle tone. My friend's daughter suffered from terrible reflux every day until the day she sat up unaided at 9 months and that was the first day she wasn't sick after eating so I'm sure that has something to do with it. My DS has a very big head and it's the weight of this that seems to be pulling him sideways when he tries to sit. Having said that, the HV was said his fine motor skills and speech and understanding were fine (can say a couple of words and makes lots of sounds). I think maybe he is like your DS and is not yet ready for large amounts of food.

Yes, I think it definately has an effect on their eating. Like yours my ds has great fine motor and speech skills too, was just the sitting and eating really

I honestly think a lot of HVs are still quite ill informed about breastfeeding / nutrition. The whole panic about iron deficiency is bonkers. A healthy, breastfed 9 mth old baby - God, they should be celebrating with you, not making you feel like you're doing something wrong.

I was told by a HV once (with my first baby) that I should FF only every 3-4 hours or he would 'get fat'. Tosh. I have fed both of my babies when they seemed hungry - both when I was bf-ing and when I switched to FF - which has always seemed perfectly sensible to me.

My DD would only eat sweet purees and yoghurts until she was about a year old, and refused all other food except toast. I got told off by the HV who said she should be eating a variety of food- she didn't want to. I didn't mention to the HV that she was also BF many times a day

There seems to come a point when they decide they do want to eat, and they will. As long as you offer a variety of food they will eat it when they are ready.

(incidentally my DD is still demand BF at 2.5 years, and considerably more often than twice a day)

Ignore your HV, you have had 3 DSs so I reckon you probably know what you are doing

Incidently my DS is 10mths and has been BF from birth however he started sitting up at 5mths and as such loves solid foods with a passion! He is down to 2 feeds a day but his intake of solids is good. HTH? Maybe the motor skills thing is the key?

oh and DS is on the 93rd centile so the 2 BF a day suit him fine, incase I get told of for not feeding him enough

Yes, it makes me laugh when we are told they should be eating a variety of foods by a certain age. Like you say elvislives, as long as different foods are offered, there is not much else you can do - you can't make a baby eat what it doesn't want to (although my mum told me that when I refused to eat at 4 months, her HV forcibly squeezed my jaw to open my mouth and shoved in whatever delectible 70's concoction of puree was around at the time !

Restrainedrabbit, sounds like you and your DS have got it sussed! Does he drink other fluids too?

Thank you Yes he drinks happily out of a cup, doidy cup. Won't touch bottles or lidded cups with a barge pole

I demand bf dd2 til she was 3. not interested in food til she was 1 and went to nursery. she now 31/2 and has good appetite.

usnkidz, so did your dd2 eat anything before she was 1? Over the last few days, I have felt it is cruel to not b'feed DS3 when he asks, so have been feeding him about 6 times in 24 hrs, but he is more receptive to sitting in the highchair and trying a bit of food when he is happy, than when he is starving and fractious because he wants me to feed him.

she ate very little. she went to nursery at 1. cause i wasnt there she ate well. but continued to bf evenings and days off which affected her appetite.