I am kooking for advice on whether I should be strict or soft with DS when he is tired....
DS is 2.5, he is a wonderful lively boy with a strong personality. Since reaching toddlerhood I have found for the most part that a firm consistent approach has worked with him and although very spirited he is happy and generally well behaved. I feel that without this approach he could quite easily become a real handful as he gets older. However, I am beginning to feel unsure as to whether I am being unfair on him by sticking to my guns at bedtime when he is sometimes exhausted.
I work 3 days a week and it tends to be on these days after either nursery or a day with Granny that he is tired (I suspect he doesn't get much of a nap but I think they do their best). Things start to unravel when we do teeth, bath, PJs etc at first he gets very negative, then tears, then full on tantrum. My usual approach of staying calm, no attention for the bad behaviour, no means no and following things through (e.g. PJs go on despite a big struggle) doesn't seem to work- my my head tells me to continue lwith this firm approach but my heart tells me to be softer with him as he is just so exhausted.
Yesterday he didn't want to clean his teeth ended up crying and refusing to open his mouth, I did my best to clean them and decided against a bath and tried to change him into PJs- this sparked a massive tantrum as after refusing to clean his teeth he then wanted to clean them. I stuck to my goal of getting PJs on and a massive tantrum ensued: full on hitting, screaming, stamping and kicking- totally out of control. I told him he needed to stay in his room until he could calm down and then we could have a cuddle and a story.
Usually when he is not tired he calms down when he realises his tantrum is not getting him anywhere. However, this time he lay on the floor for 25 mins crying, I checked on him regularly reasuring him that as soon as he could calm down we could have a cuddle- he got more wound up everytime I checked on him and kept telling me to go away. I managed to stay calm and stick to my guns for 25 min but then picked him up and said I was going to tell him a story to help him calm down- this worked quite quickly.
Can anyone tell me if they think I should stick to my fairly strict guns at times like this- my head tells me not to give in to his tantrums or he will be rulling the roost in no time, but my heart tells me when he is exhausted and I should be softer????