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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

3 yo cold turkey withdrawal from milk tonight

43 replies

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 23/08/2009 19:30

There are tears. Many many tears. She is so upset it is breaking my heart.

But it is time. It is way way past time it stopped.

Wish me luck.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Feenie · 23/08/2009 19:33

Why does she have to stop?

ShowOfHands · 23/08/2009 19:33

Does it absolutely have to be cold turkey?

bubblagirl · 23/08/2009 19:41

just wandering why it has to stop i stopped dummies as he was getting too old my ds is 4 but he still has milk or water before bed

if its in a bottle change bottle to new night time cup

i know plenty of children that still have warm milk before bed and there 6-7 +

Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 23/08/2009 19:47

feenie because she uses it for comfort in bed, it is from a bottle. Because she will not sleep without it, because she is not dry at night because of the milk. Because continued use of the bottle will rot her teeth.

showofhands she has always bee milk obsessed, well when she took a bottle after being nursed. She used to have 2-3 bottles of milk and would not settle unless she had this much. We have cut it down to 3rd bottle, sometimes twice, but mostly just once, but we just cannot, cannot seem to break this last stage.

I don't really want her to, but we wanted her off it at 2 and this is over a year later.

OP posts:

Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 23/08/2009 19:50

She will have milk from a cup before she brushes her teeth from now on. I should have made that clearer, she is not being stopped the milk, rather the bottle. We tried phasing that in before now, she will drink the milk from a cup happily. But, its not the milk she wants, its the bottle. if we gave her squash in a bottle she would take this rather than nothing!

She is now upset at everything. And she is pulling at our heartstrings.

OP posts:

TrinityRhino · 23/08/2009 19:50

I wouldn't bother if I were you too much stress all around for not enough reason at the mo

TrinityRhino · 23/08/2009 19:51

s why not just change the bottle of milk to a bottle of water

let her have her milk before teeth brushing and then allow her her comfort of the bottle but with water in

Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 23/08/2009 19:53

trinity the problem is she gets upset that she wears night time nappies, because she wants to be a big girl, and last night took it off, and wet the bed, which also upsets her.

She has been dry in the day for over a year, and she can do night time, if she does not have the bottle.

I also want to do it now before the new baby arrives as it will be impossible afterwards without it being seen as a punishment or something related to the baby.

Am I just rambling nonsense?

OP posts:

bubblagirl · 23/08/2009 19:55

how about what we have just done my ds has just given up his dummies the dummy fairy came and took them away and left him a big bunch of knowledge books ds hasnt once asked for a dummy

maybe do the same explain about the babies who dont have any bottles and as she is a big girl now the bottle fairy will come and make all the babies happy

we bagged up dummies left them outside front door i made him go hide in his room and pretended i could hear the dummy fairy saying thank you and she'd left a present so we ran back and there were the books that i had speedily placed after throwing bag of dummies out of sight he was so happy and excited he hasnt once asked for them

he says the babies are all happy now mummy arent they i say yes listen the dummy fairy is so proud she's saying thank you

now whenever he see's the books he says the dummy fairy got me these he has ASD also and coped so well with this

maybe get a new special night time cup you can get cups in bottle shape but with normal spout lid good luck

terramum · 23/08/2009 19:57

Would she take it in a cup instead? I think she is old enough to tell her why she needs to drop the bottle...but not necessarily old enough to drop the bedtime feed altogether. Maybe go shopping so she can choose one for herself?

DS was still breastfeeding at bedtime right up to the point he weaned at age 4. But now a year later he's still 'feeding' at bedtime...only now it's a glass of water an apple & a banana LOL. Heck DH (36) has a horlicks before bed every night

FYI DS is not dry at night either. A lot of children aren't dry until age 7+. Not necessarily the milk.

bubblagirl · 23/08/2009 19:57

also ds is 4 and still not dry at night cutting back drink is not the problem its waiting for that hormone to kick in that makes the dry try not to panic everything happens in time its not unusual for children to still be wet at night at 6 and they have drinks stiopped at some silly time its a hormone that does it

HarlotOTara · 23/08/2009 19:59

My DD2 had a bottle before bed at 3 - she had been very ill so kept it going longer than would have otherwise. However I said to her that she would stop having a bottle before she started nursery school in the Sept. She was happy with this, we stopped and no problem. I think possibly because she had some notice. All children are different but could you talk about not having a bottle by certain time and then giving her some sort of treat - a new cup or something?

A friend stopped her DS having a dummy by saying they were going to give it to the dolphins and then they went to the sea and threw it in.

terramum · 23/08/2009 20:00

Sorry just seen your posts re cup/bottle issue...

...would graudually reducing the amount in the bottle work?

TrinityRhino · 23/08/2009 20:02

my dd2 is 4.3 and wants to night nappy free but also wants her cup of juice water at night so she wets the bed because of it

I just let her try occasionally without a nappy and put a bed mat under her sheet and sometimes she can do it but after a couple of wet nights we put the mnappy back on

I have explained that if she didn't have her cup at night she would probably be able to be dry but she wants her cup...

so I just let her have her cup, they are only little

francagoestohollywood · 23/08/2009 20:02

I'd personally reduce the quantity of milk, but I'd be tempted to keep the bottle. It's very comforting for some children.
I agree with terramum that drinking milk beofre bedtime is not necessarily related to being dry at night.
W£ould she be happy with just 100 ml of milk?

Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 23/08/2009 20:08

You know what - you are all right.

Sod it. trinity you made me think when you said about it being unecessarily stressful. We have a lot going on at the moment, including her bedroom being moved (she is in with us atm) and poor thing has had her world turned upside down.

I read some of the posts to DH and yes, we agree, she is only little and we are perhaps being a bit cruel for no real reason.

We will offer her milk and biscuit as we planned, and if she insists on a very small amount of milk in a bottle, we will just give it to her, and we will try to change it to a night time cup instead (any recommendations? She usually drinks from an open cup in the day).

I guess we got a bit pressured by Doing The Right Thing. If she wants to stop the nappies, she can decide herself if she will stop the bottle.

And now I feel tearful and sad that I made her so upset.

OP posts:

Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 23/08/2009 20:12

DD has never relied on comforts such as a dummy, or blanket, or special bear she cannot be without. DH said this is her comfort.

We have been going round in these circles before and decide not to stop it, and then we think, oh but we need to.

And, DH and I have just agreed, tomorrow we will take her shopping for a special night time cup that she can pick.

Thanks all for knocking some sense into me.

OP posts:

francagoestohollywood · 23/08/2009 20:16

Please don't feel sad Pavlov.
I'm sure she'll grow out of the bottle when you least expect it.
)

kellybelx · 23/08/2009 20:16

my 2.5yr old is the same. and her teeth are really bad...she will go through upto 3 bottles during the night...is milk mad...i almost had her cut down untill dd2 came along and coz she has bottles of milk (not so much in the day now) she see's it and steals it off her, or asks for Bee's nai nai (chinese slang for bottle, Bee is dd2 lol) She wont go to sleep without a bottle and wakes up and wont go back down without one...

the only reason i want to stop it is coz of her teeth, she has some front decay because of it

Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 23/08/2009 20:20

kelly thats just like dd, except we have just managed to get her to go back to sleep without it, although she does still ask, in her most cute sad voice with a furrowed brow.

We are lucky in that her teeth are in good condition, she loves to clean them and I am thinking/hoping she has my strong teeth (32 and no fillings ), I really do not want her to get tooth decay. So we will get a cup. A happy compromise. Hopefully.

She is funnily enough now asleep without the bottle. After 1 hour of crying. I hate that she cried herself to sleep

OP posts:

TrinityRhino · 23/08/2009 20:27

pavlov

dont feel sad or bad

Sorry if I made you feel bad

Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 23/08/2009 20:28

trinity no you didn't, I was already feeling bad. You, and others here just made me realise how unecessary it is right now.

She is such a lovely happy girl I hate to make her sad for no reason.

OP posts:

Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 23/08/2009 20:34

She woke up.

"mama, please, can I, can i just, just just, please, please...'

''just have a little bit of milk? Only a really small little bit, ok?'

'mama? I love you' and wrapped her arms tightly around me. I cried all the way to the kitchen.

OP posts:

TrinityRhino · 23/08/2009 22:27

awww pavlov

your poor thing

she sounds adorable

logi · 23/08/2009 23:50

HIi pavlov..its your decision but...my son is 5.8 and still has bottles of milk and it is his comfort, he never drinks milk out of a cup but wants his bottle if upset or tired.Ive decided not to be too stressed about its not really a big deal although my son said he still wants a bottle when hes a dad lol.We dont let him take his bottle out and he also wakes in the night for a bottle which is annoying lol Also we have never had any trouble with his teeth.

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