Discipline @ 15 months

[fernyburn]

Hi
Ive been reading some of the other threads, and have a question that isnt really answered.
My dd is 15 months, and like all toddlers into everything.

She is testing the limits, and I want to know how to start installing discipline.

When I say no (like stop throwing stones, stop throwing food etc) she looks at me or daddy and laughs, and carrys on

I started putting her on the sofa and walking away - into another room, originally she cried, (and I ignored her for a max of 20 seconds which seemed to work) but now when I plonk her down, she laughs, clambers down, and does it again.

DH mentioned that we should start using the travel cot - where she cant escape and has no distrations like toys, and this sounds like an excellent idea.

I know 15 months is young, but she is totally ignoring a reasonable command, I dont say no very often, only when its something she is doing that is dangerous, or naughty, and I dont want to sound dictorial.

Ive read many articles about discipline, but non actually say how it should be done.

do you think putting her into her travel cot for a few seconds will make her understand, that by not obeying there will be a punishment, as it seems pointless saying no - than letting her get away with it.

any advice will be welcome

DD is nearly 20 months and we put her in her cot. It works for that day but she'll do the same thing the following day.

I think that 15 months is too young for them to make sense of 'discipline'. They are absolutely programmed not to be deterred at that age. however would they learn to walk etc if they stopped trying every time something nasty happened (i.e falling over). I certainly wouldn't use a cot or any other place of sleep as a discipline sancion for fear of upsetting a good relationship with sleep and bedtime!
Distraction, or lack of attention are your best bets. For cupboards and general interfereing, distraction and babyproofing. For anything like biting, just put her down and away from her without making a fuss.
Throwing and dropping food goes with the age group.
Patience and a sense of humour will get you further than attempting 'discipline' at this age, IME!
Good luck - enjoy her experiments, that's what they are.

instea diof just saying no, how about 'stop throwing stone/eating the cat food/ throwing you dinner'

We've been using a 'naughty corner' (now a naughty step as he's discovered that he can watch the TV quite happily from his corner LOL) for our DS2 (not 18 months) for quite a while now.

I agree using the cot isn't a good idea.

However I disagree that you can't start 'discilping' them at that age - some (not all) children are already starting to talk at that age - and IMO if they're old enough to start talking they're old enough to start learning what's acceptable and what's not (after all being able to talk invovles a level of understanding - and my DS2 was doing simple things on request at 13 months....).

Agree that dropping food is par for the course, but think it's possible for them learn that it's not ok to throw things.

I really don't believe that a 15 month old gets the meaning of time out,but that may be JMO.
my youngest is 15 months also.Throwing food etc is just the age group.What I do is try to pay as little attention as poss.With throwing the food,I start with holding the hand she threw it with,looking her in the eyes and say don't throw food' If she does it again I take food away saying ok,your throwing food,I am taking it away from you.But she is to remain sitting,she can't get up and play once i have removed the food?And i don't pay much attention.Usually she will point and ask for it back.i give it back once,remind her not to throw.If she does it again the food is gone for good.I have now stopped with the second chance,she throws food,its game over.

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strategies like naughty step and time out mean anything to a child until the age of around 2.

WOW - 2yrs - I know my DS1 knew 'right and wrong' and understood the naughty step WELL before he was 2.

And now at 18 months if DS2 is being naughty I say "do xyz again and you'll be on the naughty step" - and 8/10 he'll stop doing it. I believe that once they can 'understand' you (where's the ball and they fetch it, etc etc) they're old enough to 'understand' the basic of simple discipline IMO

Can you not try to put things in a positive light? For example, we have a specific ball (small beach one) that DD is allowed to throw indoors. So if she throws (as she will want to do - it is part of her natural development after all,) we simply say - "Can you please throw the ball indoors" Take the object away and give her the ball (followed by praise for doing as asked). She has learnt that - so I think babys can learn cause and effect at this stage, but I don't think that is necessarily the same as discipline.

Again, if its food she's throwing, I take the bowl away from her and feed her myself - when she whinges I then ask her if she will eat nicely for mummy and daddy. She says yes, and gets the bowl back. Repeat if she does it again. I just did this, and found she soon outgrew it!

My DD is now 18 months - she's not an angel by nay stretch of the imagination, but I do think very basic choices and consequences can work at this age (and has worked with my DD for a couple of months now). Usually, for us the first course of action is asking for a similar but more acceptable form of behaviour (so throw the ball, instead of don't throw... play with this toy, instead of don't touch that etc) and then if behaviour continues then have a consequence. For us, it is usually removing either her/ it from the situation.

So far, it seems to be working for us, so .. HTH!