Not understanding pointing at 3.5 years - how old was your child?

[Chaotica]

DD is an articulate 3.5 years and still only understands pointing because she can sometimes understand the instructions which go with it. (eg "Look in the direction of mummy's finger and where mummy would be looking now. If you were here what would you see?" etc) I've tried to turn it into a game for practice, which she sort of understands, but she doesn't really understand it as more than that (so she'll strike up the game with me, but not use pointing as a tool).

Is this odd? Go on - humour me! (I only have DS to compare to and he's been pointing since 10m.)

(She has other oddities too, but this is beginning to seem to a bit of a gap in her abilities.)

Yes, it is a bit odd. Have you ever read about autism/aspergers? www.autism.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=211

Yes unusual at this age. Have you spoken to HV about it?

Pointing is very emphasised in developmental checks and was part of the 9/18m assessment for us.

Thanks for the link, Lou. I'll have a look. This is at the back of my mind although I'm not sure yet if I want to share any worries in rl.

(DD goes to preschool in september and I thought I ought to give her non-existent social skills a chance (she can deal with 1-1 conversations but has virtually no interest in children her own age).)

BTW I think I remember you from the 2 under 3 thread - how is your elder dd doing?

Do you mean your DD pointing at things, or you pointing and your DD not looking at where you're pointing? DS is 3.5 and I quite often find myself saying 'No, look, where I'm pointing... look, look at my finger, now walk in a straight line out from it and you'll find what you're looking for!' This is obv after ages of me pointing at something and him just waving his head around or looking wherever he was looking before I started pointing - usually in the sqaure inch of space right in front of him (typical male!)

She very rarely points herself and usually can't follow a person pointing either (which is less of a surprise). When she does point, she's oblivious to the fact that the person she's pointing for can't see through a brick wall which she can see around (for example) and doesn't seem to get it when we tell her this.

Thanks for asking, Chaotica - she's 3.8 now & it turns out she has a brain malformation, which causes the epilepsy & her behavioural issues. Hard work, but lovely. We have also added another DD to the brood, so 3 girls under 4!

If you have a good preschool, they should pick up any 'oddities' & talk to you. But if you are worried, you need to say - early intervention is a key to a positive outcome.

Hi Chaotica
Definatly worth getting checked out especially if you have other concerns, not being able to see things from another persons perspective (not being able to see through the wall) although a complex thought process & maybe she is a little yopung for that anyway can also be an indicator for conditions such as Autism.
remember that Autism is a very wide spectrum disorder from extremely mild to very severe.

It may be worth jotting down your concerns 7 discussing them with your HV (if you have a good relationship)or your GP.

ds1 didn't make a point until about 18 months but could always follow one from about 9-10 months, ds2 could do both from about 11 months. We have had mild concerns about ds1 and ASD.

If you have other concerns besides lack of pointing, please do follow them up as soon as possible so you can help your dd progress and improve her social skills before school starts.

As others have said, early intervention is key and you can make such a difference if you act quickly with this - my ds is proof of that.

Thanks all - I suppose I'll watch and wait to a certain extent, although alarm bells are beginning to ring (I can't put everything down to her being a toddler). I guess I have to just make sure she's coping OK (according to my mother, I thought furniture had feelings at that age, but I manage well enough now!).

The preschool are very good, although I wonder whether any problems she has might be disguised by her alarmingly good language skills. (I don't know whether the staff will notice whether she actually plays with anyone if she's busy explaining to them about building a submarine...)

Lou - Congratulations on the new DD! And I'm glad you have a diagnosis for DD1, although I'm sorry to hear how serious it is. I wish you all well.