So.... I am clueless. How do you go out and about whn potty training?

[meandjoe]

Also posted in potty training section

DS is 2 and seems to be quite happy using the potty around the house. Runs to it himself saying 'POTTY!!!!' and all is going well. He's loving the praise!

My main question is how the heck do you manage to go anywhere, even a trip to the park or to grandparents house etc? Do you have to take the potty with you?? Or do you just use nappies and hope they don't need to go?? Or just use normal toilet (I have a feeling ds would find this a bit daunting as he's only ever used a potty).

My friend just used to put her ds is nappies whenever she went anywhere but surelythis sends mixed mssages with regards to using potty and telling people when they need to go etc. I really have no idea so please share your experiences! Ta

oooooo thats so hard PuppyMonkey, my DS is only 21 months so we are a long way off yet. I guess at any age your going to have to keep asking if they need the potty.......stick with it!

with dd, we went with pants, and i had a beach bag i took everywhere with us with the potty and some anti-bac wet wipes in it.

was so lucky with ds and potty training. he decided one day that he wore pants now. took his nappy off, put the pants on, and that was it, done. never had any accidents!

ds was 3 though, i think the big mistake i made with dd was doing it too early.

I also loved the pottette it was a lifesaver esp with a potty training toddler and a baby in tow.

Puppymonkey - i had the exact same thing ("No!" when I kept asking) so I stopped asking so much (only when we were about to go out or if I thought she was 'due') and she learned to just self-manage. Had a couple of accidents, but that is how they learn.

Yep I think you're right.

And we all thought childbirth was he hard thing!!

You can bulk buy liners at john lewis.com - I'm not good at linking. Sorry. Relative newbie. Would take me 2 days to do it. But I digress. Bulk buy at john lewis.com ....

I would leave them out of pull ups and definitely nappies once you are full swing into potty training. Once they ask to go when it comes is the time to leave nappies.
Though I think if they are only weeing in potty because you're putting them on it a million times a day and it just so happens that one comes out, then I would prob still put pull ups on when out.

I have a potette for ds who is now 2.3 yrs. He has been dry for 3 months did it totally himself, but he hates sitting on it. The good thing about it is it fits over an ordinary toilet seat so at least he can sit on that in public toilets rather than the seat.

I have ben caught out without a pottete or wipes and tried to put toilet paper all round the seat before he sat on the toilet but he pulled it off so I just sat him on the toilet and hoped it wasn't too germy!

My dd's sat on a pottete so happily, it was great. And I would use it where ever I was, obviously I would try and find the most discreet place but surely people would rather see a child use a potty than step in wee or poo that's been done on the floor.

A child can be toilet trained but not have the greatest control.

Sorry also meant to say....DS (is now 3 but was trained at 2yrs 9 months)- will now do a "stand up wee" and will lift the seat and wees over the rim just like a "big boy". He's a good aim and will also put the seat back down again and flush !!...bless 'im. If you have a boy, get them to spend a few hours with a big boy (this was DS cousin) and they might just want to copy them which is when DS started to want to do it. It is sooo much easier when we're out and about now with the germ thing. He obviously has to still sit if doing a poo but he will hold the seat either side and I tend to hold him (and have to hold his will down too otherwise I get the wee through the gap between bowl and lid mmm nice).

Beware though - my DS Is TERRIFIED of the hand dryers in public loos- particularly those new super sonic ones. They literally make him scream in terror. It's a bit of an issue !

Thank you soo much everyone for all the advice. Dd is 2.2 and keeps taking her nappy off and will happily sit on her potty but jumps up after two seconds. She also proudly announces what she is about to do into her nappy and insists on being changed immediately. I THINK she is ready? Have been putting off leaving her out of nappies because I couldn't get my head around it... And I was also waiting for the predicted hot summer to let her run around just in pants. Reading this thread I may just go for it

For car journeys, put a polythene bag inside a cushion cover and put this on the car seat. Also works for pushchairs. And definitely get him to do standing wees in the loo asap, much much easier than sitting ones and weeing over the front. Ds1 once weed straight at his pre-school teacher when trying to do a sitting wee, I was absolutely mortified. And finally, much as it really pains me, I've just found that if I leave the loo seats up, my youngest ds will take himself off without needing me to help. Hurrah.

'PLEASE don't do what a number of my friends did; take a potty everywhere with you and happily put your child on the potty wherever you happen to be, in a cafe, a restaurant, the middle of town, outside a school...

If they can't make it to the nearest loo they're not ready yet.'

I couldn't agree more. We had one holiday in an all-inclusive (Gran Canaria) almost ruined by one mad set of parents whipping out fluro-pink potty in all manner of places, hotel recepion, pool bar, lift, and even in the restaurant. Lots of over the top praise in a very loud voice 'oooohhh, what a WONDERFUL poo, darling.' It's foul.

We took the plunge and just left nappies behind except for lunch-time sleep and at night. I trained both my DD's straigh onto the toilet at home and we have a potette for out-and-about.

TBH I wouldn't recommend attempting to toilet train until minimum 2.25 years but better to wait until 2.5 IME. If they haven't had a light-bulb moment within three days and having more successes than accidents, then forget it for another few months.

When it doesn't go well (because they are not ready) it is very stressful for both parties.

oh god fangolina you're so right "if they can't make it to the nearest loo they're not ready"

hear hear

also agree that if they don't get it within a few days they're not ready either. I would have given it a week but no more!

We have been potty traiing for about 2 and a bit weeks now.
DD has dnoe really well is pretty good at home, a few accidents but had been excellent out and about. using toilets in the supermarket and in other peoples houses.

I have got a potette too and have used it and am very pleased with it (especially as it was only £3 from an NCT sale) We used it in a National Trust property at the weekend I felt that DD perched on this was preferable to wee on the marble and parquet floors.
I took a normal potty at a friends house today thinking I would save the liners when we are out and about and It's not so easy to take a big potty with us.

Regarding the nappies in the car I have put one on but have very clearly said it was only for the car and when we got to our destination took it off straight away with lots of praise if the nappy was not wet.

You can get the liners in bulk from JoJomamanbebe too and use your 10% Mumsnet discount

Don't get too stressed that your child wasn't ready because they may have had an accident and not made it to the toilet in time.

If you're out somewhere and the toilets aren't that near and your child needs a wee they might not be able to hold on for long enough while you run trying to carry a heavy child!
There's only so long a 2.5 year old can hold on for. They can hold it for a while but if they're not on a toilet it will come where ever you happen to be.

If we waited til they could hold it for long enough perfectly we'd all have 4 year olds still in nappies.

In those situations I would use a pottete, it would be ridiculous not to.
You have to use your common sense and try and be a bit discreet about it but what's the harm?

Completely disagree with the "not ready if they can't make it to the nearest toilet". They are learning and soon enough they will be able to. Obviously, don't put them in the middle of the Ivy on their potty.....

As regards tips: for going out - we started to time how far apart our dd was generally having a wee and then going out around those times. We'd bring the potty with us though. Also constantly reminding her was putting her off so I'd only mention it around the time I thought it was coming.

As for poos, she is scared of going on the potty so we don't bring her out around that time of day. She just runs around at home and after a bit of winging it comes out! (on our wooden floor!). Hoping that with constant reassurance this will resolve itself!

Also, def good days and bad days.

Just one question - how do you get on if they never ever actually tell you they need to go? My dd1 is 2.8 and very bright but has never said she needs to go, although will say she wants the toilet when she doesn't, like it's a novelty. Does this mean she's just not ready yet? So I can perhaps tell the MIL to stop telling her what a baby she is and how big girls should ask for the toilet?

weelll maybe I'm everso lazy but I think having to build the timings of your day around whether your child will need a pee or not means they're not ready. As does them poo-ing on the floor, really!

Fangolina - sorry, but I disagree. I'd say most children of just two (or younger, in some cases) can be successfully potty trained if the parent is prepared to spend a week at home concentrating on that rather than MN-ing (or whatever).

I think it's nonsense that they're only ready once they can hold on until they get to the loo. This kind of attitude is presumably one reason why so many children are starting Reception still in nappies! It also sounds like an excuse for laziness in some - not all, of course - cases...

Fangolina and slowreading - I disagree with you both, and I think you are missing the point that there is a learning process that needs to be gone through before they are ready to hold until you can get to a toilet, etc. IMO it is not fair to ignore this and wait until your child muddles their way through to teach themselves to hold until you can find them a toilet - there is no need to make it so hard for them. I think dedicating a few days to helping a child to learn the finer points by using a potty is not a lot to ask of a parent.

My DD was totally ready at 2.4, and took it on herself to start using the potty and has not been in nappies since - it is rubbish to suggest that she wasn't ready because she initially didn't have the skill of forethought to know that she needed to use the toilet far enough in advance for me to get her upstairs or into a shop and onto a toilet. That is a skill she learned through the process of using the potty, and she learned it very quickly and happily. She had the bladder control as she was dry after naps - which as I understand it is the golden rule of deciding whether a child is physiologically ready. The rest she learned as anyone would learn any new skill - through practice.

I agree with what Rorty said.

My son (22 months) is potty training at the moment. He goes to the potty and does a wee or a poo and proudly annouces he has done it afterwards. We take a potty out and about sometimes - I wouldn't whip it out in a restaurant but in a corner of the play park seems perfectly acceptable to me. I've seen other mums doing that and it doesn't bother me. Just a normal stage of a child's development as far as I'm concerned. As far as dealing with long car journeys is concerned (or the occasional restaurant meal) I would probably put him in a pull up for the moment 'just in case'.

I should add that we time our outings where possible to be just after he has been on the potty. This is doable at the moment as most of his toddler activies don't happen in the summer so we have a potty training 'window' until mid September. Hence why I started him so young as it was a very convenient time (as well as being summer which is also convenient).
He is gradually learning the finer points of potty training as he goes along so hopefully in a few weeks he will be giving enough warning to get to a loo when we are out. If not then we will rely on his absorbant training pants and changes of clothes until he gets the hang of it. I haven't bought the pottette yet and I wondered how other mums have found this with boys? It looks like it has a very low splashguard to me so there's a danger of 'overshooting'. We are currently using a small one piece potty with a high splashguard for taking out and about. Also, for training pants I have found the Imse Vimse pants to be nice and absorbant as well as soft, with few leaks (and washable at 60 degrees). You can get them with an animal design on them. We also put a towelling type of pad with waterproof backing into the pushchair and car seat when he's wearing training pants on journeys in case there is a leak.

A tip to 'holidaydreaming' - if your DD does a pooh in a training pant/pullup or night time nappy make a point of showing her the pooh and putting it in her potty. I did this with my son a couple of times and then he started pooing in the potty.

I didn't really train my DS.

I left potties and small loo seats around the house and made him understand what they were for. When he was 2.9 he was just about to sit down to eat when he cried "I've got a wee coming!" and ran off to the potty, pulled off his nappy and used it. Three days later he decided he wasn't going to wear nappies at night either, and now a month on we haven't had any accidents at night.

Daytime has been a bit hit and miss but I just asked him if he wanted the loo before we went out, and went places where we could easily get to a loo. When he had an accident, I changed his pants and trousers and said more about it.

But then I took the lazy mothers approach to breastfeeding as well, and fed him until he weaned himself, interestingly about a month before he didn't want nappies anymore. I wonder if there is a connection?

Am watching this with interest as we've just started 'proper' potty training today: started doing pants off potty time last week and more often than not dd (2.9) will take herself off to the potty when she needs to go and come and tell us what she's done. however, pants are proving a bit different: she is getting used to them, but my reall issue is when dd gets distracted: she's so busy playing and enjoying herself she forgets to use the potty and is looking gobsmacked when she wees: so,

is it best to keep interupting her at play to take her to the potty, or just ask, her during play if she needs a potty?

helpfully, dd has in the last week decded to stop her daytime sleeps. great. i popped her to bed this aft as she was shattered, but i could hear her walking about so she has come back downstairs announcing 'i have had a very busy sleep'! arghhhh!!

also, using step 2 of gina f's 7 day potty training so am at home for a couple of days before we make the 'special cushion' and go out for our first trip like a bat out of hell