Help with my 3.5 year old - not listening is a night mare and right now I don't like him - it's like crowd control and there's only one!!

[thesouthsbelle]

basically DS is being a nightmare child - well that's unfair, he's not, he's a good boy for the most part, he's excitable but doesn't listen - at all. I can shout I can chase after him makes no difference, I can count down and now he's started saying no mummy stop the numbers.

things like y'day he ran off in tescos and when I went to look for him he ran off again laughing. I caught up to him and basically put the basket down and walked out the shop - he had hysterics as he couldn't have his 'little milk'

He has tantrums when I ask him to do soemthing he doens't want to do - ie when we left a friends house after a play date. total melt down.

I'm just fed up with fighting him all the time. As I say for the most part he's a good boy, when we have fun (ie dancing around the room etc) or he has my total and undivided attention he's good as gold, but he can't always have it (single parent) and also I want him to be able to play independently of me, even thou he seems to have gone backwards on this front.

How much is:

him testing me
his age
me expecting too much
me being stressed and snaping at him quicker than usual?

I miss him when i'm at work, but sometimes feel it's easier to send him to nursery, where he's good apparently.

Help, I'm sick of being the banshee mother! (have got the how to talk book but it doesn't seem to work)

when does it get easier/better?

okay

parenting 3 year olds is very hard - they can really suck the life out of you

supermarket - back in a trolley for the moment or wrist strap

give a ten minute then five minute warning before you have to leave friends/park/swimming

stop with the shouting, it's obviously not working for you, and just raises your stress levels

rememeber the mantra it's just a phase and it will pass

good luck

thanks stinky, yeah the shouting deffo isn't working, I've tried things like saying to him, mummy is very dissapointed with your behaviour, or is that the right thing to do and tried to sound firm but it comes out more of a banshee!

He seems to pay more attention to my parents (mum esecially) althou she teaches his age well 3-5 year olds. sometimes it feels more like i'm the big sister with no authority (or at least he doesn't seem me as an authoritative figure)

any one else?

Get down to his level and get eye contact, don't shout. You're not complaining about anything that every parent of a three year old experiences.

I do posie. lets hope for a better day today!

3 yos are hard work. I would say

• don't negotiate - tell it like it is, you're in charge. So "we're going now" and do it, immediately, no time for fights, no negotiation, just do it.

• Distraction also works as does "I wonder if you can get into the car by the time I count to x"

3yos don't listen much so you do have to be v clear. And take them by surprise sometimes if you know they're going to kick off. And talking while you're doing it so (while scooping him into the car) "Oh LOOK, there's a SPIDER on the window, can you see it? Is it making a web (while you strap him in),"

Good luck!

www thanks, maybe I am too soft with him? - thats prob part of the problem, he knows which buttons to press, & i'm not a strong mum?

I will say this thou the terrible two's were a walk in the park compared to this - even thou me and XH split up DS was clingy & I had depression! give me those days back!