Help! I'm tearing my hair out with my DS1 who is 4.5yrs.We have recently had another baby son who is now 14 weeks old. Unfortunately he has been in and out of hospital with severe reflux problems which meant i was away from home over night on numerous occasions leaving DS1 at home with daddy. During the day he was with various relatives and friends so my DH could help me out at the hospital. It was a v difficult time and i felt very guilty about DS1 being passed from pillar to post but DS2 needed me in hospital as i was breast feeding. Anyway, DS 2 is now on the mend and his health is much better but DS1 is displaying horrendous behaviour which i'm guessing is all a reaction to his new baby brother and the difficulties we have experienced with him. He behaves well at home when it is just the 4 of us. He loves his little brother very much and helps me out a lot. However, it is a different story when we have visitors, whether it be grandparents, other relatives or friends. He turns into a different child! He runs riot, tries to get away with things he would not dream of doing when we don't have visitors(like helping himself to whatever he fancies from the fridge!), he sometimes refuses to speak to people or won't answer their questions and when i tell him off or ask him to do something he completely ignores me(again, he does NOT do this when it is just the 4 of us at home) The other week he told the health visitor he was going to 'break her with a knife' I was mortified but she didn't seem unduly bothered! My DS1 has never been spoiled and i like to think he's been brought up well but this recent behaviour makes him appear to be a very naughty and difficult child. To be honest i find it very embarrassing and upsetting and on a few occasions recently i have purposely not taken him places with me but left him with my mum instead because i dread his behaviour when we are socialising.
I get so cross with him but at the same time my heart goes out to him because he has obviously been very affected by the arrival of his little brother and all the difficulties we've had. I just want my little boy back who until now we've never really experienced behavioural problems with. He has always been adored by everyone but now i think everyone, like me, thinks he is very hard work! I would GREATLY appreciate any advice or tips anyone can give us deal with and reverse this behaviour. I am getting so upset about it i am wondering if he needs some kind of counselling?? Please help if you can...we're desperate!!