Going nuts have started smacking.....

[badbadmother]

Okay so I have namechanged although maybe obvious who I am....
I am staying with my parents for the summer, in a very very hot country.
My dcs are a nightmare. We cannot go out alone as I have four and roads are very unsafe. Plus I have no money this trip was funded by my Mother, with a view the DH (who had a 75% pay cut) would be earning better money and I would have paid her fpr the trip..this was not a condition but an expectation.
My mother (very toxic) has a go at me as if I were a child in front of my dcs and loathes my DH.
She is a control freak, deciding what we eat and when (just asking would be nice). She got shitty about what I eat and drink, including things I brought with me.

Anyway the dcs are being awful, cooped up and bored. They are very rude (they being the 6&7 yr old boys) saying silly words and one repeated 'fucking' that he heard my Mother say when she was angry with me, Fighting a lot...the older is very aggressive meaning to hurt, but the younger is just annoying with a quick temper but not to hurt, they don't take me seriously when I threaten or punish, and I do carry out my threats. So I have started to smack as this is the only thing that takes the smile off their face. I've taken away TV (well there isn't one) DS, gameboys, Wii, but as there's little else to do I am at a loss. I have brought books with me and we sit and read, do workbooks etc.....

I feel like a complete failure as I know I am smak=cking because I don't know what else to do......

Thanks everyone, I may not return to this thread to post because I am rubbish at namechanging!! I will red if anyone else bothers to post advice though.,

Aww poor you, do loose control sometimes and smack my dd which i know is totally wrong and something i have to not do and improve myself. I think that the boys are just picking up on the uneasy vibes and might feel uncomfortable themselves. I have a difficult mother who not keen on my dh, does whine and complaine a lot and cannot imagine having to stay with her for long periods (hugs)

What do other local people with kids do? I've lived in several third world countries including one with similar conditions to those you describe including the serious rain and thunder. If it's warm enough - people just go out in the rain. They won't melt - it's fun.

Can you really not use any form of public transport? Can't you find just one local taxi driver and build a relationship with them? That is what I have done, especially with dc in tow - then you can give clear instructions about the standard of driving you expect.

I have family in a country where I really think we would be cooped up with no outdoor option due to the culture rather than the severe weather and ghastly road sense - and frankly I just won't take dd there.

I think your toxic mother is the problem. She should be supporting and helping you and perhaps giving you a break and some respite. I have a toxic mother and I have distanced myself from her because when I am around her my children pick up on my tension.

drive her up the wall so she forks out your return fare asap or puts it on the tab at least - i could not do 4 days in that let alone 4 weeks and i am sure dh would love to have you back sooner and the dcs would be better off home too