Teenagers and masturbation

[siski]

I wasn't sure where to post this thread but since 'self love' is a type of behaviour and also an element of development, I figured this was as good as anywhere...

Where do people stand on how to broach this topic with teenagers? I'm beginning to think that teaching a daughter, for example, how to give herself an orgasm (not literally teaching her, I mean providing her with a book or similar) would be a really positive thing. She'd be in control of her own body, wouldn't have to go through years of potentially orgasm-less sex once she was in a relationship, and it might even help her wait before having penetrative sex with a boyfriend because she'd gain pleasure from other activities.

I know I would've hated my mum to explain it to me, face to face, but I think I would have really benefited from knowing 1) roughly how to go about it, ie where the heck my clitoris was 2) that it's normal to do it.

What do you think?

Lurking as I have a 14 yo DS who I'm pretty sure has sussed this out, and Dd who's 11 and coming up to 'that age.'

I read your thread then said to my 14 year old..
ME...Do you know what women do when they masterbate?
DD.. Ithink they put there fingers inside them.
Me.. I said do you know what a clitoris is?
DD... yes.
mE...Did you know women can rub that and it makes them orgasm.
DD ....No (little laugh) ,I have'nt done it yet but thanks for telling me.(Back to watching her programme)

Gulp!

Nobody told me. I just worked it out on my own, most kids do I think.

I worked it out for myself when I was thirteen, don't know if that's normal?

That's hilarious, Skybright! Makes you realise that almost nothing makes teenagers squirm these days.

I agree that a lot of kids work it out themselves, especially boys, but little boys are taught to touch themselves - when they're told to hold their bits to pee. Girls don't have that so they might feel guilty or naughty for touching there.

I figured out how to do it quite early myself too, but I had no idea what a clitoris was (or even that I'd found it) until much, much later!

Erm - I didn't know until the age of 26 and at the end of 2 marriages!! I found out just through chatting to mates actually. I'm sure these days, kids know so much and chat so much that the girls would also find out much earlier. Agree - a bit of a minefield with a girl.. think so much easier to have discussion with boys - I want a DD like Skybright!!

I don't think it's weird and i think an awful lot of boys are more openly told about it by male members of the family.

I was brought up by a wonderful mother but she could not even bring herself to say the word period,never mind anything else.

I suppose my viewpoint on being very open and honest about your body,emotions and sex stems from this plus in all honesty i would rather tell my daughter about things rather than some nurse/school teacher/friend.

She does read an awful lot so i am well aware that there must be Judy Blumes of my time that she will have seen.

Give her a Judy Blume novel?

teenagers are not like we were

dd shocks me with what she says - so OPEN about stuff

ewwwww it is me cringing in our house!!

op - i assume by the time they need to know they will - nowts sacred these days!

No, I'm a mum of 19, at the age of 14 you have full sex education lessons about this as well as sti's, hope this helps! x