DS1 (11) is away overnight on a sleepover, what a difference it makes to the whole families quality of life. Usually we are treading on eggshells but today We can be spontaneous, try new things,do joint activities with DS2 and DS3, his little brothers can talk without being told to shut up.
We are stuck in a viscious circle DS1 is almost always grumpy, rude, aggressive, mean and selfish and therefore we find it hard to maintain peaceful effective communication with him, he feels picked on and criticised...etc.
This has been getting worse for quite a long time, I am very sad to say that I find it difficult to be loving towards him these days as he is so horrid to his little brothers and so ungrateful for his relatively easy life.
He probably has a few traits of Aspergers syndrome which makes it hard for him to see things from others points of view (and eg, makes it vitally important that he does not miss one second of Top Gear even if it means him having a tantrum in public.)
My sympathy for his difficulties is running low, he does not seem to try to be nice, everything is someone elses fault. He can be brattish beyond belief. I feel a lot of parental guilt shouting at him to much and being too negative about his behaviour to his face, I feel like I don't have much time to sort this out.
Have read all the usual books but find it hard to keep up the posotivity needed in the face of behaviour from DS1 that would have got DH and I smacked and grounded when we were little.
He is good at school and usually with friends but horrid at home and also being difficult with his lovely grandparents, which really upsets me.
We try to make special time just for him but it is never enough for him, he is always disatisfied. I feel sorry for him and sorry for us.
I don't think i am a toxic parent, DS2&3 are happy children, but i am beginning to feel that I am in danger of crossing a line into bratcamp territory.
Help!