Wanting what her sister has

[nmd]

DD1 is mostly a lovely girl who can be extremely kind but she always seems to want what her sister has. She is 4.75 and I guess she's always had this tendency but over the last 6 months it's got so bad that the first thing she looks at is DD2's plate if I put 2 plates of pudding in front of them, to say "I want that". DD2 is only 18 months younger so she can't possibly remember always having had everything and it doesn't appear to be a ploy to get my attention. As far as possible I have always given them the same (attention, food, toys), but her main aim in life at present seems to be to get DD2's toys from her, to convince DD2 to say she can always keep them and not to give anything in return. Until recently DD2 would always give her anything she wanted despite my frequent intervention saying she didn't have to, but recently she is less inclined to hand over her best Barbie etc. I even find DD2's toys stuffed down the back of DD1's wardrobe. Can anyone suggest anything I could try please?

Dear nmd I read a really good book recently called 'Siblings without Rivaly' its published by Picccadilly and it's by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.I found it really helpfull I to have 2 ds 18months apart in age and I too know what it's like.It's all about teaching them the boundries of sharing their things and how you can help guide them in a usefull way as to them being able to sort things out on their own.I used to get so stressed out about making sure they were treated equal it drove me mad every time one of them would say he's got more than me e.tc mind you they still do but I have better ways now to handle it.Please please I really recomend this book if you get it have a read and let me know what you think It's really easy to read.It's not just you kids that behave like this all kids do I'm sure.Good luck and post back soon.

I would say read that book too.It was fab! As too were their book " how to talk so kids will listen" . Both books have loads of practical advice and I would recommend them to you to read asap.

Thanks very much - both local bookshops & a library couldn't provide it today so have ordered & will read next week. Also sneaked a quick look at the older Toddler Taming rivalry section for interim ideas!

Thanks very much, brilliant book! I picked it up yesterday and have learned loads of useful stuff so far. I also found I'd started to treat the matter differently just because you'd pointed out it was jealousy rather than greed, so thank you! Next stop, "how to talk so kids will listen"!

So very glad to hear that things are starting to work out better for you.It really does work my children still fight but not half as bad and the book helped me to see the reasons behind their actions and helpfull response's from me instead of screaming at the poor things.Great news..