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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

At what age does a child begin to have tantrums?

15 replies

makedoandmend · 20/07/2009 20:44

My 7mo just went into meltdown (really screaming in a way she's only done when she's had injection etc) and I couldn't find any reason for it other than I'd put her down in her crib and she wanted to play. I can't work out if it's her first tantrum - unrelated to food/sleep/nappy etc
What age to children start having wilful tantrums?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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cornsillk · 20/07/2009 20:46

That's a good enough reason!

Original poster

makedoandmend · 21/07/2009 08:54

You're probably right cornsilk but she usually just mithers and cries a bit until I go back in - but this time - hysterical complete with pouty mouth and what seemed like anger. DH and I just at each other!

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Luxmum · 21/07/2009 12:22

Hmm from my experience they do it from birth...
She sounds pissed off. I assume you picked her up and she stopped. There you go.

meandjoe · 21/07/2009 14:10

My ds did it from birth... think they all do if they wat to be picked up. Don't forget she's probably starting with separation anxiety and therefore you putting her down and leaving her will terrify her so she' sbound to shreik! Pick her up and go with it is all I can suggest, they all go through it. xx

Original poster

makedoandmend · 21/07/2009 14:54

Luxmum - no I picked her up and she went up a notch - absolutely hysterical - took me and dh about 10 mins to calm her down. That's what I mean - it was just very very weird - it was like she got really angry and was going to scream beyond getting what she wanted - in the same way as toddlers do sometimes.

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Original poster

makedoandmend · 21/07/2009 14:56

meandjoe - I did wonder whether it was the beginnings of separation anxiety (just as she's about to go to nursery - greeeeat!) As I said I'm used to her crying - but to not be able to calm her down is just odd. I've only ever seen it in toddlers (and twice in her when she had immunisations and when she got a real fright).

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Overmydeadbody · 21/07/2009 15:00

Are you sure she wasn't in pain? Bad trapped wind or something?

I don't know much about tantruls though. DS rebelled and didn't have any

Original poster

makedoandmend · 21/07/2009 15:39

Overmydeadbody - lucky you with a no-tantrum child!

I thought it could be wind but she's pretty good at letting out enormous burps and none came at that point (or on the monitor after!)

It was just so angry - I looked at her and saw her in a few years time stomping her feet and screaming 'I WANT SWEETS!'

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MummyElk · 21/07/2009 15:43

my DD started having noticeable tantrums at about 9months (she'd look very angry and throw herself back on the floor, regardless of what was behind her [cue lightning reflexes and the odd bump on the back of her head])
she's now 17 months, and they are proper toddler tantrums with stamping feet and everything. and the same angry face!!!
So....yes it does sound like one. Sounds like a typical girl to me
In a week or two you'll forget she didn't have them.
(i hope so anyway!!)

tootyflooty · 21/07/2009 15:56

they Start about 8 months and continue through to 18 years + . I kid you not !!!!! and girls are far worse than boys. Good luck

Original poster

makedoandmend · 21/07/2009 19:08

Good grief - I just realised - she was bang on eight months yesterday! Damn she's waaaay behind all her peers in everything else but seems she's on the mark with the moodswings!

How the hell do you deal with them in a child so young. Only ever dealt with tantrums in older children who understand 'yes' 'no' etc??

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MummyElk · 22/07/2009 18:55

patience, patience and more patience...and try not to laugh!! no point in getting frustrated, it's their only way of communicating their emotions. there's a good guide on here about toddler tantrums - i know your LO isn't quite a toddler yet but it does sort of apply! hang on i'll find it

MummyElk · 22/07/2009 18:59

right. here it is
tantrums

tbh i found them quite hard going initially, but once i realised she couldn't tell me any other way, it was a good turning point. think you just have to make sure she's safe (so i have to be very quick and catch her head if she's doing a ThrowMyselfBackWhateverTheTerrain) and not react overly otherwise they learn very quickly how to manipulate the situation!!!

i like the bit in the toddlers site about how it's hard to get things in perspective when you're a toddler. that makes sense to me!
Good luck!

Original poster

makedoandmend · 22/07/2009 21:15

Thanks so much MummyElk (and everyone else who has answered).

I think it'll take a while for me to know the difference between an 'I'm hurt' scream and a 'Life's shit and I'll make you pay' tantrum tbh. She's such a docile, happy little thing normally (and so smiley - getting round M&S in Worthing is a nightmare because she smiles at every old lady ...and there are many) that it comes as such a shock when she screams blue murder.

Right I'll go and look at the link and see what I'm in for

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Mummywannabe · 25/07/2009 21:41

My Ds started to have complete meltdowns at about 8 mths and would pinch me in temper . He is now a year and lovely but boy is he stroppy! I'm a nursery nurse and always knew i would get a spirited one, nursery nurses nearly always do (think it punishment for saying to parents 'oh i can't believe their like that, they are little angels here!)

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