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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

'Time to go' = Time to have a strop

15 replies

Blackduck · 13/07/2009 00:12

Ds is six and is a largely a lovely little boy BUT, when we are out, round a friends etc, when it comes time to go then we move into major whining/moaning/stropiness. Out today and when it was time to leave (having spent a good 4 hours playing etc) it was I want to go home with X. When X had left, and we walked halfway home with Y it was I want to go home to play for a bit with Y. He then satarts whining and being generally stroppy and the why not, why not which sours the end of the day.
Have tried reasoning - you can't because we need to get back to walk the dog, Y needs to have tea etc. This falls on deaf ears.
Have tried saying if you don't come now we won't go out again - doesn't work.

Any ideas please as this behaviour is just wearing and shows a not nice side of ds. Other friends go home when they have to without all this!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

cornsilk · 13/07/2009 00:14

Have you tried warning him? Start about 30 mins before he has to go. Also get the other mum on side to reinforce the message that he has to leave.

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 13/07/2009 00:14

Do you give him a warning, 'we have to go in 5 minutes, the poor dog will be bursting for the toilet' type thing?

cornsilk · 13/07/2009 00:14

x post with fluffy!

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 13/07/2009 00:15

I can't type as fast as you corn!

cornsilk · 13/07/2009 00:22

I have fingers of fire fluffy.

Original poster

Blackduck · 13/07/2009 00:22

Yes, we do warnings...
Thw whiny pleeeeeaseeeeee is doing my head in

OP posts:

cornsilk · 13/07/2009 00:25

Okay. At 6 I would grab and run then!

Original poster

Blackduck · 13/07/2009 00:29

Dp has been known to lift him up (fireman-style) and carry him out... not practical for me!

OP posts:

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 13/07/2009 00:30

Then stand your ground. 'out!' No arguments, no discussion. Give him a warning, then out. You are the boss, it's not a negotiation.

Original poster

Blackduck · 13/07/2009 06:16

I understand what you are saying but how do you then cope with the impending meltdown - pleeaseee, why etc etc. I know part of the problem is that when this happens in public with people i know I start to get embarrassed and flustered and the whole thing gets more and more stressful....

OP posts:

cornsilk · 13/07/2009 06:36

Ah the meltdown - I know it well! All children do it - stay calm and turn into a broken record repeating that you are going.

Original poster

Blackduck · 13/07/2009 06:37

You're up early!

OP posts:

cornsilk · 13/07/2009 06:40

yes off to work! What about you?

Original poster

Blackduck · 13/07/2009 06:43

Currently between jobs - early riser naturally!
Also been churning this one over all night....

OP posts:

Buda · 13/07/2009 06:45

Ignore the meltdown. And when it is finished have some sort of 'punishment' - no tv or something that he would normally enjoy.

Have you read '123 Magic - Effective Discipline for Kids'? It was recommended on here and I bought it to help me with DS. His behaviour was not too bad but my reaction was! I find even now that I just have to start counting and DS remembers that he needs to calm down/stop what ever it is that he is doing.

Most important thing is to stay calm.

Another idea. What about the next time you are doing something that is likely to make him behave like this you warn him beforehand that if he does it you will cancel next playdate/outing whatever. And then do it. And keep reminding him WHY you have cancelled. It will be hell initially but he will learn that you mean business.

Flip