Hi guys, I know I should maybe be posting this in another section, but there seems to be more success with replies here. Sorry in advance also, for the length.
My DD's father and his wife started potty training our DD (23months) whilst she was staying there for a week. I was on hol at the time. I wasn't too happy about making aunilateral decision like that, as ultimately it is me (and her childminder) who would be doing the bulk of the work to see it through. I also thought DD was too young, and hadn't shown any signs of being ready whatsover.
Anyhoo, when I collected her after the weeks hol, they declared her 'done', i.e. potty trained and gave me loads of instructions (yes really) on how I needed to see it through. I didn't argue with them, or protest that they had started it without dicussing it with me, but then thats pretty par for the course with me and them- very controlling people.
I knew, wholeheartedly, that DD would not be 'done' as they put it, and in fact, fast forward a month and I am on average, changing her clothes 8-10 times in one day. On saturday past, I had changed her 6 times by lunchtime and the frustration had me in tears. She will poo in the potty no problem, will wee in it if I'm on her back all the time to use it, mostly though, she will sit on it for hours on end and produce nothing, then stand up and promptly wee in her knickers. So, after much deliberation, I text her father and said I didn't think she was ready, and he went off on one. Said no way was I to put her back in a nappy, she is ready, keep going, etc etc.
This has left me very upset, because my DD lives with me, goes to her dad arounf 1.5 days a week, but I'm being held over a barrel by him. I know his wife is heavily behind it as well, but he would not comment on this.
I was so tired of it all that last night, after the advice of my mum, I bought some pull ups and told DD they were knickers. She seemed happy to wear them, but since then, has done nothing on the potty, and actually refused to sit on it this morning- something she has never done. It seems she is not daft, and knows full well that the pull up is in fact, a nappy, so she's doing her wee's in that now. Have I done the right thing? I fear there will be a major fall out from her father wehn he finds out, but I had to bring it under a little control. My childminder is lovely, but cannot mop up my DD 8 times a day when there are other children to tend to.
I also feel now that I've taken a step backwards, with my DD refusing to sit on the potty since last night. I know its early days with the pull ups, but what do you think? Do they work? are they confusing?
Could you also advise on how I should handle exp? I feel he will completely go off on one, and most probably revert to doing his own thing with DD, i.e, knickers, which will confuse her even more. At the end of the day, I didn't agree with them starting potty trraining, but carried on supporting something they started for my DD's sake.