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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Potty training - pull ups first or straight to pants?

25 replies

mckenzie · 03/05/2003 14:36

I'm starting to think about potty training my son (2 in June) and have gone so far as to buy a potty and some pants. A friend has lent me her Huggies Potty training video which, for obvious reasons, recommends using the pull up training pants first. Some other 'experts' advise just going straight for the proper pants so that they recognise when they're wet.
What method have Mums Netters found most successful? I'm open to any advise/comments please.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

hmb · 03/05/2003 14:45

I have just 'done' ds at the age of 3, and dd was 'done at 2 and a half. Both times we went strait to pants. Both of my kids thought of pull ups as nappys, and they didn't feel wet when they did a wee. With ds the bladder control was sorted after 5-6 days. Poos are still a bit of a problem.

I'd give it a go, and see what happens. If it doesn't work, moth ball it for a bit and then try again later. Waiting till the weather is fine is a good idea, as accidents are far less traumatic if they happen in the garden!

Original poster

mckenzie · 03/05/2003 14:54

This might sound like a daft question hmb, but did you push your son's willy down inside the potty before he did a wee? I can't imagine anyone wanting to wee while someone else is holding their willy but if I don't hold it down, won't it just pop over the edge? Or have I got the wrong type of potty? Or should I get him to stand up and wee?

OP posts:

hmb · 03/05/2003 14:58

Not daft at all! He went straight to the toilet, rather than the potty, and he is a standing up guy! Hell on my floors but there you go! So I cant help with the 'pointing down' question. I do have to help him to aim a bit, which seems a little strange! Girls are easier in the weeing department.

edgarcat · 03/05/2003 15:14

Message withdrawn

edgarcat · 03/05/2003 15:15

Message withdrawn

SoupDragon · 03/05/2003 15:48

We used Pullups in between training sessions for DS1 for 4 months - he wasn't ready on the 1st attempt but we didn't want to go back completely on what he had learnt.

Pull ups are good in that they contain accidents but can be pulled up and down if your child wants to use the potty. We went "cold turkey" to pants when actively training though and this is what we (or rather I!) plan to do with DS2 this summer. Again, if he doesn't get it at the first attempt, we'll go to pull ups as an interim measure.

And I told DS1 to make sure his willy was down! Never had a problem.

kmg1 · 03/05/2003 18:39

Don't use pull-ups at this stage, they don't help (IMO!). Ideally let them run around naked from waist down for ease (if it's warm enough!)

With my boys I bought some 'standard' plain pants for them, but when they had succeeded - no accidents for a day, or whatever the target was, they got their special pack of Bob-the-Builder (or whatever) big boy pants!

If your house is sizeable then extra potties can be useful in the early days - one upstairs, one downstairs, one in the garden ...! Also an old towel or an old piece of carpet under the potty for protection against the odd misses.

Good luck - let us know how it goes.

Pull-ups are useful when they are pretty reliable, but you are visiting an aged aunt with cream carpets and a new suite ... otherwise they are not necessary.

clr · 05/05/2003 11:24

My son was 3 in March. He has been physically ready to be trained since last summer (when I was heavily pregnant with our second child and couldn't get my head around it!) However, he is now refusing to co-operate. He knows all about toilets, potties, wees, poos, etc - but won't "play ball." If he sits on the potty he gets loads of praise, even if nothing happens, but most of the time he won't even try, even if it's obvious that he needs to go. We've had three or four false starts and really feel we can't go back to nappies again, because he's the sort of child who will think "I've won" and it'll be even harder next time. We've tried pull-ups, training pants (plastic pants with towelling liners) and real pants. I agree that pull-ups aren't much good, because they don't know they're wet or dirty. However, being wet or dirty doesn't seem to bother him; often he won't even tell us that he's gone to the toilet in his pants, let alone that he needs to go. I really don't want to use bribery or rewards, because I don't believe in using them for something that should come naturally. He's a wilful child and is impervious to the "shaming" technique ("all your friends are clean and dry; people will laugh at you at school," etc, etc), so I can't try that tactic either. If anyone's got any other ideas, I'd be grateful to hear them.

LIZS · 05/05/2003 12:20

clr

There's a thread under Parenting Re:Potty Training over 3 which you may find useful if only to know you are not alone.

I know you say that you do not like bribery but a reward system/star or sticker chart may be enough to break the habit and get through this stage (we used to let ds stick a Thomas sticker from the yoghurt pots on for each success, then for every dry 1/2 day, then day until he lost interest). However he relapsed at about the time dd was born, we moved etc etc. Boys seem particularly notorious for ignoring the obvious.

hth

Original poster

mckenzie · 05/05/2003 12:54

thanks for all your helpful comments. We'll give the pull ups a miss and go for the big boy pants. We moved house late last year and haven't replaced any of the carpets yet, so we're going to be fairly relaxed about any accidents on the carpet etc which hopefully will help all of us.

Just one more question please.

Musical Potty - yes or no?

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 05/05/2003 14:05

No - just go for a bog standard one What happens if your DS decides he will only perform on a musical one??

Original poster

mckenzie · 05/05/2003 18:21

good thinking soupdragon. Thanks

OP posts:

Bozza · 06/05/2003 14:00

Am currently doing DS and agree with not bothering with training pants. At home I tended to put him on just pants but no trousers and then I can see if there is a small wet patch/dribble and encourage him to use the potty. Now he is better I have him wear trousers more. Am having some trouble getting it all inside the potty. My Dad suggested sitting him on it backwards but haven't tried yet. Also thinking about investing in pull-ups for my sister's wedding.

bluestar · 06/05/2003 16:29

DS is 2 and we do use pull ups as well as pants. Bladder control after a week, best to start with being naked as they can get used to what is feels like, then progress to pants, and then clothes over pants as sometimes it is a struggle to get all the clothes down in time! Use nappies still for night time and car trips/outings as want ds to feel comfortable in using the potty/toilet at home first. Have told ds to make sure his willy in in the potty/toilet first and he is quite good at doing this himself. Potty training for us has been easier than we thought it would be (he is just over 2).

Jaybee · 06/05/2003 17:28

Personally my two went straight to pants but I did use pull ups on occasionally when I knew that a toilet or convenient place to use a potty was more than a few minutes away and when an accident would be really inconvenient. Shopping trips until they learn a bit of bladder control, long car journeys (although this was before the 'piddle pad' and care mats were invented!!), family parties which meant they would be tired, flight to Florida when ds was 2.4 and recently potty trained - bad planning!!, to bed whilst in someone else's house.

chiggles · 06/05/2003 18:52

My son has got a musical potty and loves it. He will use the 'big' toilet too. This started when he watched his Dad using it (tip for Dads there!) and now when we change him he goes on the big toilet after. We've tried pull-ups and gave up cause they're a pain to pull up and he just thinks they're nappies!!

nicki18 · 06/05/2003 19:31

I tried the pull-ups on my ds, but we got no reaction when he weed, so they didnt work for us. They need to feel wet and uncomfortable or they just carry on as normal. I bought some old-fashioned training pants - plastic covered towelling pants with elasticated legs. They held in any accidents, but he was also aware that he was wet.

Noisy · 07/05/2003 13:25

We just started using pull ups as they were more convenient. (We could then change DS standing up/step out of them and into new ones).

We didn't use Huggies as felt we may then be tied to the Disney motifs. We used Pampers.

Hope that helps..good luck.

Tongy · 07/05/2003 19:27

Clr, so good to know I am not alone!!! I am in EXACTLY the same situation - even down to the March birthdays! Have decided to try the sticker chart/bribery/reward method this weekend to see if it will work. We missed an opportunity in August too and I know that my ds knows what to do as he does it sometimes but cannot be relied upon. After our second was born I just could'nt face it because felt completely in shock at having a new baby around the place again so it was easier to have two lots of nappies to change (even though ds seemed ludicrously huge compared to baby). Nearly five months on and I feel that I can finally cope with the mad dashes to the loo!

Someone told me that boys need to have a focus to motivate them so I thought the sticker chart would work. (Ds will do anything for sweets/choc). Not sure whether you're supposed to give a "treat" for each successful visit or after a successive run of, say three visits. Has anyone any advice?..

Tongy · 07/05/2003 20:07

Was just thinking...may be it's enough motivation to have stickers to stick on a chart without the bribery thing - it you use interesting stickers. Bit like having a sticker book...

clr · 08/05/2003 21:25

Tongy - let me know how the sticker/star chart goes. So many people have suggested this I've decided to give it a go. But not till the week after next, as we're away on holiday next week and I really can't face accidents/upsets in someone else's house. I think we'll go for a star for each time he uses the potty, two stars whenever he produces something and when he gets to (say) 20 stars, we'll get him something - maybe some track for his railway set. Good luck - I shall be thinking of you. And thanks for all the other suggestions.

Bossanova · 10/05/2003 01:12

Just a thought Tongy and clr, but if you want to try the 'standing up to wee' way ( as your boys are older) I have heard people say that something to aim at in the loo/potty works. A piece of loo paper (or I think you can even buy special little 'targets'!) might make it into more of a fun thing to do.

Ghosty · 10/05/2003 01:13

Also you could put a ping pong ball in the loo ... it shouldn't flush away and they can aim for that!

Tongy · 10/05/2003 07:47

OK I LOVE this target idea - am going to find a ping-pong ball although I can see my husband getting a bit carried away!!!

Started potty training yesterday and went OK - only one accident(but we were playing in the garden and I think he forgot) and 4 stickers on the chart. I find it really useful having the chart because it help us all focus on it! Wish I'd done it earlier really!

By the way do you use normal pants for boys or has anyone tried boxers?

Ghosty · 10/05/2003 08:06

I have just read the rest of this thread and thought I would add my experiences to see if it helps you at all.
I tried to potty train DS at 2 and a half and after 5 days of disaster after disaster we gave up ... so he went back into nappies.
After a month or so we let him run around the house with nothing on his bottom half and the potty in easy reach ... no problem ... not one accident ... BUT as soon as we put pants on he would just go in them ...
Just before his third birthday we thought we would give it another concerted effort ... The star chart I made worked a treat ...
He went straight into pants ... Pullups were no good ...he used them as nappies ... Everytime he did a wee in the toilet he got a star on his chart and a stamp on his hand ... every time he did a poo he got a smiley face sticker and another stamp ... AND (I am sorry to say) a chocolate froggy. I totally believe in bribery and corruption when bringing up my son
He was 'done' in 48 hours ... couldn't believe my luck ...
After a while he would begin to forget to ask for a sticker/stamp/froggy and I wouldn't remind him and so after about 2 weeks we no longer had to reward him.
He regressed a bit with poos a few weeks later (when he was about 3.2) and started 'saving them up' until he had his nappy on at night ...
So ... we started another star chart ... and it didn't work too well ... so I discovered something else that he liked ... party poppers (oh the lengths we go to!). He would ask for his nappy if he needed a poo and I would say that he couldn't have a nappy but if he did a poo in the toilet I would let off a party popper ... it worked every time!!!!!! DH and I thought it was hysterical! Again after a few days he would forget to ask for the party popper and I wouldn't remind him and going to the toilet for a poo became a normal thing to do!!!
We got a ping pong ball to save the carpet as he was having a lovely time aiming between the loo and the lifted up seat ... and I didn't realise until I noticed a nasty pong (pardon the pun) and investigated and found a nice wet patch behind the loo ....
We have just cracked the night time nappies too ... no star charts needed this time ... because 'I'm a biggest boy now Mummy!'

Sorry for the length of post ... on a roll ... you know how it is ...

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