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Away from my 1 year old for a week: can she cope?

6 replies

julen · 01/05/2003 13:23

Hi all,

It looks as if I will have to be away from my 1 year old daughter for a week, without being able to see her at all for the whole time. Does anyone have any experience with this? How do children this small cope with things like that? Will she still know me when I get back (my selfish worry..)?
I'm still breastfeeding her - can I keep it going by expressing while I'm not with her?

Any advice at all most most welcome..!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
quackers · 01/05/2003 13:35

Hi Julen!
Babies are very adaptable at that age! Will you freeze your milk? Who will be looking after her while you're away? I went back to a job where I would be away from my baby for a week at a time and I won't promise that it's easy - it's not. I gave up that job after a few months of being without her on and off! It was too much! But a week I could cope - just - if I knew she was in good and capable hands and it was a one off. Will you be able to phone and check up on her?

Oakmaiden · 01/05/2003 13:37

I don't know about the breastfeeding, but I have heard of people keeping it going during longer periods of seperation. My husband and i went on hoiday for a fortnight when my ds was about 15months (unnatural mother, I know) and he didn't really even seem to notice I was not there. :-/

I actually feel if there is going to be a temporary seperation then it is best before they are 2 - I would never dream of leaving my ds for more than a long weekend now, but that is cos he is older and would feel left out.

So basically - enjoy yourself. (Hoping it's something nice you will be doing?)

quackers · 01/05/2003 13:53

Quite right. I would never leave her now! At 2 and a half she knows what's what! It would be impossible!!

grommit · 01/05/2003 14:15

Julen - I often had to leave my dd from she was 9 months old - just for around 3 days every 3 months or so. You will find the separation affects you more than her. As long as she is being well cared for in your absence (which I am sure she is!) she will not notice too much - when you get back she will be delighted to see you and instantly forget that you have ever been away! Leaving my dd was terrible but it really did her no harm! HTH

SamboM · 01/05/2003 15:27

Oakmaiden, you think you're an unnatural mother, I went away for a week when my dd was 4 months!!

I had a really terrible birth culminating in a 10hr general anaesthetic, 10 litre blood transfusion and a fairly long stay in intensive care/hdu, then took a long time to feel any better. I was going back to work when she was 5 months and didn't feel able to cope with anything as I was so deep down tired. I had lots of help but couldn't stop doing it all myself anyway. So, I took a week with my husband in Grenada and my mum (who had been very involved from the beginning and knew all dd's routines etc off pat) looked after her.

I cried the whole night before, all the way to the airport, all the way round the airport and most of the flight. Made a recovery once I got off the plane and it was 30 degrees & sunshine (in January!).

I did miss her like crazy, every time I saw a baby I snivelled. Even snivelled once when I saw a buggy lol! However, I slept, lazed around, ate good food and most of the time enjoyed it. Phone bill was about £300 as I called home 4 times a day!

I can honestly say that when I got back, I felt like a different person. I enjoyed my dd so much more from that day on, I felt human again.

I know that some people thought I was a bad mother for going, but equal numbers said "good for you" and thought it was a sensible thing to do. I must say that there is no way I would have done it if my Mum hadn't been so involved and was so good with the babe, also I couldn't b/f due to drugs I was on, so that wasn't an issue. Other than that week I have not spent a night apart from dd and she is 8 month now.

Next year, we are going away again for a week on our own. I think it's important to get time to yourselves. I appreciate julen that yours is prob not a holiday, but I can assure you that once you're wherever you are going then it is actually ok (though I'm already worrying about next time lol!)

Sorry for the long rant

SamboM · 01/05/2003 15:28

Sorry, just re-read your msg and realised that you are worried about your dd not yourself!

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