HELP!!! 14 months dd throwing her drink and food on floor

[Nanou1]

hi guys! i despair. my daughter is full of beans and very active (sometimes wish she would just sit still!). she has taken into the habit of throwing her drink or food on the floor from her highchair. sometimes the plate goes too. so we pick it up and give it back to her saying it's not nice to do that... dh does not think that i should tell her off vis naughty step etc because he thinks she is too young. i deal with her most of the time and i think she understands far more than we think. it struck me this am that dd seem to do it far more when we have guests. i am mortified of course! dd goes to creche 3 days a week and loves it. no sister no brother and is an ivf baby. dd also a nightmare when i change her-she won't keep still... where am i going wrong? surely dh and i should agree on how we deal with these situations?

I think all this is really normal for her age. I'd be inclined to end the dining experience when she did throwing, but not in an interesting way, just very boring-ly say, "ok, you're done then".

I'm not sure a naughty step works at this age.

I would suggest the same but if she is throwing the food away to get other thing like going back to playing or wants to have the dessert instead. Wait a couple of minutes before you allow her to leave the table or avoid offering other food option.

I think it's perfectly normal behaviour and I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all. My 14-month ds never sits still, wriggles all the time I try to dress him and change him and always throws his food and drinks on the floor. I thinkit's all a bit of a game at this age and don't realise how annoying their behaviour can be. I think you you have to wait for them to grow out of it.

nanou, someone wrote in to child psychologist in Times yesterday with exact same question about their 16 mth old dd throwing stuff on floor, I will try to find it for you. FWIW my ds went through a phase of wriggling when trying to change nappy - it is infuriating but just a phase and certainly no reflection on your parenting skills, they all do it, they are just learning what buttons to push to get Mummy going! I found pull-ups helped (although you still need to clean up poo obv!)

Tania Byron answered almost exact question in the Times yesterday: it's here at the bottom of the page

great minds, Bearess!

btw it's totally totally normal behaviour at this age imo.

clever mrsflowerpot beat me to it!

sounds normal to me My dd (15mnths) is exactly the same. Does she prefer the food on your plate to whats on her own too? Cos my dd does . If dd goes to throw food on the floor I take the plate away and say no so she knows that its not the right thing to do but dont do more than that. Dd is a right little minx cos shell try to throw her own food on the floor then nick mine and eat it.
If shes doing it in front of visitor its probably cos you are paying attention to them rather tahn her and thats just not on in her book. I wouldnt be embarrassed cos thats what kids do.

And as for the wiggling well what can I say who wants to sit still when there are soooo many exciting new things to see all the time. I do dd standing up or on my knee (I use washable nappies tho) you could try pull up nappies tho that'd stop the wiggling.

Relax and enjoy your daughter and tell everyone that the mischief must come from her dads side .

Nanou,this is what they do at this age!!
Completely normal, and not naughty at all.

Tanya Byrons suggestion does work, it's roughly what we did with DD when she was about 14 months. She's pretty much stopped doing it now, she's 18 mths btw, and now only occasionally does it at the end of the meal if she's finished, but has food left IYSWIM, so now we take it as a cue to take her plate away.

Haven't figured out the wriggly nappy changes yet, apart from waiting for her to grow out of it/potty train! I never managed to work it out with the other two either, so I'm not holding my breath with this one

thank you so much guys! such support and your notes and advice made me smile! i seem too paranoid then!? apparently, her dad was the same . thank you for your tips too. i just want to do my best and i'd hate our guests to say she is not a good girl when she is really?! dd not fussy with food - just loves to explore and very interested in our food. in fact, she is interested in everything! had not thought of pull up pants.

Blimey I don;t really tell ds (14 months) off for that! I keep telling off for dangerous and really unacceptable things, otherwise I wold be stern and grumpy Mum all day!!!

I just say "if you don;t want any more say no more Mummy, don;t throw it on the floor" hoping that eventually the message will kick in!! When he chucks his drink on the floor, I ignore it, pick it up and put it out for reach until he asks for it again.

I mainly tell him off for touching the oven and opening it, touching & throwing things down the toilet, and chewing outdoor shoes.

The best way to deal with them at nappy change / dressing undressing time is to involve them ime.

Ds is much keener now he "helps" put his clothes on, and when we take off the dirty ones he puts them in the laundry basket all by himslef...he thinks he's ace!!!!

I also use pull ups which I am getting him to put his feet into, and then I pull them up.

Ok I still have to be stern about really pooey nappies, cos I think you have to do them lying down, I just try distraction with a song or a toy.

hi there! i have had lots of people at home lately and they made me feel that i was not handling things properly ie not telling dd off when throwing things on floor. i truly believe that the more one says no to a child the more they want to do it. our house is not really child friendly because she learns of dangers etc in an everyday situation and it means that wherever we go dd will be fine and not trash the place!
re nappy, we speak we play she helps but she still wringle a lot! i don't tell her off but it would make my life a little easier that's all
i never shout (strongly disagree with it) and explain everything. i had a grumpy step mum and i can assure you it's no fun, you're right there! maybe it's me who has the problem taking other people's opinion too seriously?

Nanou - I completely agree that the more you say no, the more she will do it! Young children learn by pushing boundaries of all kinds. Otherwise they would stop learning to walk the first time they fell down. I think Times Woman's response is far too heavy-handed. Your daughter will grow out of it, will stop doing it if it doesn't gain her loads of lovely attention (I suspect that is why she does it when you have guests), and that the word 'naughty' could be removed from the language for any child under the age of 2.5!

I'd say it's normal but not acceptable behavior. That said, at 14 months, changing behavior you don't want to accept is not an immediate process. We have fairly good luck with DD on the theory that if you drop the food you're done, and we reinforce other ways of saying she's done, reacting instantly and happily if she does anything else (puts food somewhere off the plate, pushes the plate away, hands food to me or, hey, it might happen some day, tries to sign "All done" the way they show her every day at nursery). Now there are entire meals where she doesn't drop food. (Not that there are meals where no food hits the floor, mind you, just meals where no food intentionally hits the floor.)

I'm really hoping the comment about naughty step was ironic?!

Dd is nearly 16 months. Can't imagine labelling her as naughty at the moment. And she's no. 4 so I'm used to the behaviour. She's a baby. Get over it and enjoy it. My other 3 certainly know their moules from their mousse au chocolat at 8, 9 and 11.

Yep I remember this one well! My dd done the same around that age, although ds never did this, there was no food left when he was around! ha ha I'm laughing about it now but at the time I wasn't too sure what to do! She is now 23months and wait for it.... on occasions still flips her plate on the floor from her highchair with the food on it she has finished with! We now quickly take the plate away when she says All Done this is our Q to take it away or it ends up on the floor! When she was smaller I never made a huge fuss about it, I just said something along the lines of Plate stays on table, Not on floor! Now she is older I firmly say, No its bad throwing your dinner on the floor. She understands loads now but if she has left over food we need to take it from the highchair as it does end up on the floor! Good Luck LOL

ladies! thank you once again for the further messages. lol because dd has not done it since i started this thread! maybe just one of those things! have a nice day!