I'm quite concerned that my daughter is still soiling herself and is due to start school in september.

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, my daughter is due to start school in September when she'll be 4 and a half.
She has a severe speech disorder and is being assessed by the paed, SALT, physio and educational psycologyst. We don't know yet if it's just her speech and processing or weather she has learning dificulties.
I'm just so worried that she is soiling herself up to 7 times a day, she isn't constipated the paed said as she felt her tummy. She thinks it's part of the bigger picture.
I know that children can be cruel and if they know she's pooing herself at school, she'll probubly be teased forever more as the girl who poos her knickers.
Also, I don't think her teacher will be too happy.
I'm concidering keeping her at home and home educating her untill her soiling is under control. I know this sounds extreme, but I was badly bullied at school and just want to protect her.

My DS (6, yr 1) is seeing a gastro pead Monday. He can have up to 7 accidents a day and has no control at all over it. The kids in his class (mixed yr1/2) don't comment or tease about it, they know he has a poorly tummy and thats it. He has to clean himself up (and if its really bad I get called to collect him, take him home, shower him down and drop him back)

If they have no control over it then rewards for being clean/dry are useless it just gets them frustrated and upset because they can't get to the goal.

I would contact the school and ask to meet the teacher and senco about your concerns , preferably with a few of the reports to hand if they are imminent. Chances are if it is inclusive they have experience of handling such issues discreetly (regular toilet breaks, perhaps using a different toilet block to the general ones). I fear you've had a bit of a rougher ride with the nursery so far than you might get there and that is colouring your expectations. Accidents are still common amongst kids that age and schools normally have spare clothes etc. Also if it is a developmental problem it might resolve itself anyway.

Personally I would n't hold back an older child until late in recpetion as they could miss out on so much and feel disadvantaged by having time in reception restricted and the sudden onslaught of formal work in year 1.