At what age did you become more 'hands off' with your DC?

[chosenone]

I find this a hard one especially as my two are so different! DS nearly 4 will bound all over parks ect with wild abandon and is difficult to reign in. He has spent a lot of time in soft play centres where he is used to lots of freedom so struggles with boundaries in parks, walks, beer gardens etc. DD is nearly 2 and would happily sit in my shadow if I didn't urge her to play. I see some parents in parks set up camp and let 4 and 5 year old run off but Im worried about DS and although its rare what about abduction? We've talked to him about strangers but surely he's too young to get it? My best friend lets her DS (same age) play in the garden whilst she's upstairs drying her hair and things. I will do jobs in the kitchen where he's in sight but won't stray too far from the window. How do you do it?

Sorry Anna- our appartement had 2 locks on the door- even I struggled to get out some days...
And the building door was so heavy, and the door release high up- a 4yo could not open it.

I'm shocked at people who's lo haven't been allowed to play upstairs or in the garden unsupervised, I can't imagine how you get anything done. My sil won't leave my nephew 6 mo, in a room alone when he's awake, which I find amazing.
I am also shocked at a 4 yo being left alone.
Maybe I'm easily shocked

chosenone I think that you just have to treat each child according to their own personality. My dd has always been very sensible but quite shy , where as ds is full of confidence but easily distracted.

mine are 4 and 2 and i judge it by the situation.

at home we live in a very rural area and are in off the road so i let them play out alone without me watching, but i pop my head in and out the door every few minutes to check what they're up to and if i can't hear them i instantly run out as silence is dangerous they know the rules about where they're allowed and stick to them.

in shops i insist they stay in sight more because i don't feel like spending half the shopping trip trying to find them when it's time to leave, and anywhere with cars i insist that ds1 holds my hand as i'm not secure in his road sense yet.

but then i'm a fairly laidback type when it comes to this stuff.... oddly dp is the parent who hovers below the climbing frame, won't let them climb stair alone til they're well over 2 and panics when they're learning new skills as babies (sitting is the funniest, he padds them so securely with cushions they're not even sitting by themselves anymore )

anna, i understand you trust your dd... mine is pretty good too (although easily led astray by her little brother ) but do you not worry that if something happened to you noone would know she was there?

i leave mine in the car to pop into the garage or put the trolly back at the supermarket and the thought hasd crossed my mind that if i were hit by a car noone would realise they were there.

chosenone, your kids are 1 and 3 so i think having them in your sight at all times (within the realms of physical possibility) is perfectly right and not only right, but a parental duty.

Obviously there is judgement to be used; if your ds was on the loo and you were in his room or something I'm not saying you should go and watch him but I think you get what I mean - if they're outside, or in a public place, or someone else's garden or whatever then of course at that age they need constant supervision

Of course it is also a parental duty to encourage independence and to give them opportunities to experience this; but being with your kids in sight at all times when they are 1 and 3 is not being overly protective IMVHO!!!!!!!

oh, and that's ok then anna if there's a fire! she can get out fine, she knows where the door is! Of course, then she's a frightened four year old alone in the street with no idea where her mother is, but hey!

the only use for the jam sponge i've ever heard of was when a friend was meeting a long distance romance and was freaking out because she was on her period.

another friend suggested she use a sea sponge as she could have sex with it in and he'd be none the wiser

whoops, clearly that should be on the mooncup thread

[yet again wishes MN had an edit post button]

On Ceefax now two boys 4 and 5 have been rescued from a Wirral beach where they were 'neck deep'in the incoming tide.Their mother had left them while she went to the shops!!!!

My two are 5.5 & 3 yrs old and I let them play upstairs and out in our back garden alone - and check if it's too quiet!! I wouldn't leave them alone at home though, I wouldn't trust them not to get up to mischief - DD in particular has already tried to flood the house when washing her hands!

Both have good road sense but I still insist that they hold onto the buggy if we're next to one. In shops again they hold on but more so that I can get in and around quickly than anything else. In the park so long as it's enclosed I'm happy for them to do their own thing - in fact I encourage it -