I want, I want, I want....(just 3 yr old DD)

[HLaurens]

DD1 has always been high-maintenance - has had major tantrums since 18 mths, difficulty to get her to sleep even when tired, whiney, stroppy and moody, constantly asking why, why, why, why ad nauseum.

However, now she has added "I want (insert sweets, toy, tv prog. of your choice)." She does not get anything bought for her aside from the occasional CBeebies magazine and is not at all spoilt. When she can't have her latest desire, the result is more whining, moaning, tears etc.

I've tried diversionary tactics, ignoring, and try to avoid saying no, but to no avail. It is driving me potty. ATM there seems to be about 5mins in the day when she is not wanting something, whining about wanting something, or having a tantrum over not getting something.

Sympathy and advice welcome!

You wait - the next stage (IME) is "I neeeeeed..."

Oh dear, Stealth, there's always a next stage that's worse, isn't there?!

We tell DS 'well I want a million pounds' - doesn't go down well.
After he saw a bit of Charlies & The Chocolate factory (on at MILs) where Verucca Salt is taken away by squirrels for the 'I want' it's made him thing a bit more - espcially since we have a squirrel visit our garden every day

you have my sympathy, 3 year old DD is also hgh-maintenance.

Have you tried pre-empting her? For example, before we even go down for breakfast I tell her what the choice is before she gets the chance to ask for chocolate biscuits (for example). Before we go shopping, I tell her that I am not going to give her anything from the shelves, but I have brought her a treat that she can eat whilst we shop or that she can choose one thing to eat when we get home.

Before we do ANYTHING I tell her what she can or cannot have/do so it pre-empts the request. It has really cut down on tantrums. Not cut them out, but cut them down.

Twofalls, that sounds like a good strategy - I do occasionally manage to pre-empt in this way, but should apply it more thoroughly perhaps.

Perhaps a viewing of Charlie and the Choc Factory is also in order!

Charlie & Chocolate factory is definitely good viewing - we tend to sing 'don't care how, I want it now' at DS when he does 'I want' and it does shut him up, but he is somewhat older.

I Have an "I want" 3 yr old DS, I say "I want doesn't get" I then get a pause and the an "I would like xyz, please mummy" then I negotiate the item starting with you can have it (as long as its not the impossible/forbidden) after you have done this, that or the other for me, if its a forbidden/impossible I say "so would I!" or take the "No" option and take the shouting - sometimes no means no... Hard to deal with though I know, but trying to teach nothing is for free and manners cost nothing approach, and always seems to happen when tiredness sets in