2.5 year old reffered to peadiatrician

[fernie3]

hi
I posted a few months ago about my son who had had his two year check and done pretty badly. Last time they arrange to repeat it and they did that today. It was awful and i feel really embarrassed by how it went. My son was completely out of control he couldnt do any of the little things they wanted apart from throw a ball which he did well. The worst but was hi behaviour he was running around he hit her bit her kicked her and kept pulling at her as she said "getting right in her face" I couldnt control him at all he climbed up on the tv and started pulling the wires and I couldnt even get him to stop. I looked so pathetic i think.
anyway she said that she wants to refer him to a peadiatrician because his concentration is terrible and she said a few other things like he doesnt listen at all when you talk to him - she said most children will at least look at you when you say no and stop even if it only for a minute but he just carries on regardless. She also pointed out about his roughness and the fact he doesnt really have much of a concept of danger.

she said he was behind in most areas (apart from jigsaws which he is amazing at he was actually ahead of his age on doing the jigsaw!) but the major things were fine motor control and concentration.

she seemed to say it was worth going (she said to an "early intervention team" because as it is at the moment he would have trouble in school etc if he doesnt catch up a bit.

I feel so dissappointed my older daughter has never had any of this kind of problem and today trying to get him to do something it just really showed how much i just cant keep him under control sometimes

does anyone else have any experience of this early intervention team or of the fine motor or concentration thing?

she said he is probably to young to diagnose with anything in particular but she thought he needed help with the development delays if nothing else.
Im sort of hoping he will grow out of it before the appointment but she didnt think he would

sophie

Is this typical of his behaviour at home or is it just that he 'performs' badly in front of strangers? You say you can't control him sometimes - how often is that? I can't control my 2.8 year old sometimes, but generally his behaviour is excellent so it doesn't worry me at all. Would you be worrying to this extent if it hadn't been for the test?

hi no this is his behaviour pretty much all of the time, his nursery (he goes two mornings a week) have the same problems. I was worried about him before the test but didnt realise that he was behind in alot of things, I thought he was just difficult and naughty to be honest.
I would say that the majority of the time he is difficult to control although sometime he does have good moments!

sophie

My experience of my ds's paediatrician v health visitor debate was the HV was all for intervention and the paediatrician wasn't. Ds had a variety of physical problems relating to poor gross motor skills and developmental delays.

Don't be worried about being referred. HV see a lot of 'normal' children so any one that doesn't fit their definition of normal needs treatment as far as they are concerned. The paediatrician is the best person to advise whether there are any issues that need addressing.

Try not to worry, the referral will hopefully be able to support you and your ds. It sounds like you are doing really well with challenging behaviour, and still recognising his good points. ( ds2 is a similar age and useless at jigsaws!)

He's certainly not to young to diagnose, and I would agree that he should be assessed. Early intervention teams vary (and are actually quite rare!) but can be very good. Our local one is excellent. It's not really possible to say what they do because of the variation, but generally someone will come in and work with the child, set up aids to support communication, give you tasks to do as well if you want (so you get to borrow some toys). I would expect them to be very helpful and non-judgmental. If a child has a developmental problem (not saying your son does) it is not the mother's fault, so don't feel guilty or bad about the referral!

Well it is a good thing that he has been referred then, because you will have a chance to talk to someone professional about your concerns and hopefully get some help. It may turn out to be something simple like his hearing or something in his diet. It must have been a shock that he 'failed' the test but I guess his non-compliance was a big factor in that too. If he was ahead on the jigsaw test it may be that he was capable of doing other things too, only he didn't want to! Maybe in a different setting with less pressure he would do more tasks.

I hope you get an appointment soon.

My son was under the local community paediatrian from the age of 20 months. Health visitor checks are very depressing, they feel very much like pass/fail. A development review with the paediatrian lasts an hour and is far more play based. The paediatrian talks to the parents rather than puts the child under pressure to perform.

My son had physio to help with his walking and the paediatrian arranged for him to get grommets. When the grommets didn't work she arranged for him to have temporary hearing aids.

A few years later at the age of seven years old my son did a 1K fun run. He no longer needs hearing aids and is in the top reading group at school. [showing off mummy emoticon]

Please don't feel bad, its nothing you have done wrong.

That must have been a horrible experience, but hopefully you'll get the specialist help you need. Please try not to think too far ahead.

Just a thought - has he had a hearing test ?