How much freedom do you give a 9 yr old?

[HappyHome]

Hi,
I just wondered if anyone could give me some advice.
My DS is 9 and I'm wondering how much independence we should be giving him. The problem is that we live on the edge of a large village on a busy road. None of his school friends live close by (he would have to cross two v. busy roads to get into the village) and so playing out with friends isn't an option unless its pre-arranged.

I guess there are two issues here, I'm worried that he doesn't get to play with other kids when he's not at school and I'm not sure how much freedom I should be giving him.
Sorry to ramble on I just wondered if anyone else has any experience of this kind of thing.
Thanks

i have the same problem. there is no way i would let my DS who has just turned 9, cross the road. he cant even go out on his bike as the cars drive so bleeding fast down my road it would turn me gray..

Difficult one isn't it..

I have two DS's - one will be 12 next month and we could always trust him but he was about 10 I think when we let him go to the park in the village and go around the village on his bike calling for friends.

DS2 on the other hand.. he is 9 and if you give him an inch he will always take a mile. He asks to go call for someone and we say ok. This child might not be in so instead of coming back he will just do his own thing and whilst we do live in a village, he is one of these carefree children that would be enjoying the wind through his hair and not really looking at the road iykwim.

There is only you that knows your child and where you live.

Thanks for both replies, it is difficult, at the mo its not too much of a problem but come the summer holidays.....

Ihatethecold - its the same with me, we live in a 30mph zone but it changes to 50 just past us but the cars seem to think its ok to do 70mph, even I daren't cycle there

Same problem here, with a nearly nine year old dd. She does not have any school friends that live near by, so there is not anyone to go and call on. Sometimes I let her ride her bike up and down the road, which is not too busy. That's about it. It is very sad, I walked to school on my own at her age, and went out to play on own too.

I empathise with all these posts.
Several boys from his school play 'out' in the street on scooters, bikes etc some of his friends are allowed to cross at the crossing and go to the local shop.
I arrange play dates for him but they are not allowed unsupervised in the road. My ds is similar to yours maybe bellavita, he just has NO road sense so I won't risk it.

I've said to him when I've seen him be cautious 200 times in a row I'll consider a tiny bit more freedom.

But dh thinks it's dubious around here as the cars sometimes tank down these roads and it only takes one nutter to knock your child over doesn't it?

Also some of his friends who play out seem to spend their whole time buying rubbish from the shop to eat. Plus there are some unsavoury people around sometimes. I don't know why the mothers let them myself, it terrifies me. I said to dh we'll let him out for an hour a day when he's 25!!!

sorry ds is 8

some really good info here about making your DCs more independent:

www.walktoschool.org.uk/content/independent_walking.php