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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Dummy Dilema

10 replies

MiniMarmite · 26/05/2009 13:28

Done to death before I'm sure but I just don't know what to do about the dummy.

DS has just turned 9 months and has had a dummy since he was about two days old (ventouse delivery, sucky baby, and I had bleeding nipples, it saved us!). I've gradually reduced his use of it to nap times and bed time. He has it attached to his sleepy tot stuffed toy in his cot.

I think I'm as addicted to it as he is! He sleeps 12 hours at night and naps well. He's won't really settle without the dummy/sleepytot but doesn't wake up when it falls out of his mouth. If he wakes in the night he can find the dummy and generally gets back to sleep without any intervention from us.

I've been planning to use the Elizabeth Pantley gradual withdrawal method and get to the point where he just has the sleepy tot and not the dummy.

The trouble is I never seem to want to start removing it from him. It's not hurting anyone and makes all of our lives much easier. Sometimes I think I am just saving up trouble for myself? Other times I think I'm just worrying about dummy stigma.

Sorry that was a bit long. Just looking for views, suggestions and experiences

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sazlocks · 26/05/2009 13:32

why do you want to remove it from him if it suits you both. He seems a bit young IMO and it sounds like you only use it at selected times ? am I missing the point ?

gegs73 · 26/05/2009 13:37

I would keep the dummy! DS1 and DS2 had theirs until they were 2. A godsend! Its only for naptimes and bed and it seems to be working so I wouldn't mess with it.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 26/05/2009 13:37

personally if it ain't broke don't fix it, you seem more worried about the social stigma but if he's only using it for comfort at sleeps and naps i see no problems.

DD2 20 mths still has one much the same, never out f the house, just sleeps and naps. It still provides her with comfort so I don't worry.

With DD1 we put all the dummies out for the "dummy fairy" ([hmm} I know but it worked for us) when she was 2 and a bit, and the "fairy" brought some clothes for her barbies in exchange .

I suppose it depends on how strongly you feel about it, I personally wasn't overly worried as it definitely wasn't interfering with speech development etc as it was only naps/sleep time.

gegs73 · 26/05/2009 13:38

Forgot to say with both of mine when I wanted to get rid of it they went cold turkey for a couple of days then they were fine. Though mine only really had it for their naps and in the day time if they were unwell/moaney. Not at night.

tootyflooty · 26/05/2009 13:43

keep the dummy, he is still very young. My ds1 stopped of his own accord when he was about 1, as I gave him a new one with a different shaped sucky bit and he just wans't keen.maybe keep it for when you want him to sleep, he is young enough for you to do this without too much hassle (hopefully!)

Original poster

MiniMarmite · 26/05/2009 13:43

Sazlocks - no, I don't think you're missing the point at all

It suits us all brilliantly and no-one even knows that he uses it unless I tell them or they look after him.

I just have this stupid nagging thought "must get rid of the dummy/what will people think/what if I can't work out how to stop him using the dummy"...

I suppose I have some specific concerns:

will he have trouble sleeping when he is older? (probably slightly irrational!)
will it be a nightmare to stop him using the dummy later on (or now)?
what approach am I going to take and when?

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holdingittogether · 26/05/2009 13:48

I let mine have theirs just for sleep times or if they were ill or very tired, until they were nearly 3. We did the dummy fairy too! As they were older eth dummy fairy worked really well as they were old enough to explain and understand etc.

Original poster

MiniMarmite · 26/05/2009 13:57

Thanks everyone, your posts are reassuring and the dummy fairy sounds like a good plan for later. Tooty I had wondered about trying a different shaped sucky bit too so I might see what effect that has in a few months.

I think the reality is I am worried about what others think (who knows why!) - my SIL is extremely anti-dummy and my bf has commented that I should stop DS from using it before he can ask to have it. Perhaps time for me to put these comments to the back of my mind and do what is best for DS and me.

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sazlocks · 26/05/2009 19:55

I think that's all you can do really - what's best for you and your child.
Don't know if your SIL has children or not ? I was very anti dummy and had all sorts of opinions about parenting before I became a parent. Now I am minded to think whatever gets you through the day (and night!)

Original poster

MiniMarmite · 26/05/2009 20:24

Yes, 2. Lots of disturbed nights for them all unfortunately. Not necessarily related to lack of dummy use of course.

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