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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Thumbsucking - what's the issue?

36 replies

Imoverhere · 26/05/2009 11:45

Genuine question here. My DS is 14 wks old and has sucked his fingers from a v early age and has recently started sucking his thumb. He is a very settled baby and I think this is partly because he can soothe himself by sucking, and having had a DD who really wasn't I am grateful.

I am happy to let him suck his thumb/fingers (I did and remember how comforting I found it), however, many many times people have said to me 'you want to stop that' or 'pop a dummy in, don't let him suck his thumb - you can take a dummy away'.

But why? Really interested to know. Is there a problem with speech development? I can see that there could be a problem with teeth (although I didn't have one) but what else? I want to do the best for my baby and would like to understand both sides of the argument/science (?) to help make a decision.

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daniwalkes · 26/05/2009 11:49

people say the same to me all the time, my little man is 22 weeks now and has always got his fingers / thumb in his mouth, people are always saying 'don't let him get used to that, may look cute now but he'll be doing it forever'. if im honest i couldn't careless, he's a happy baby and doesn't want a dummy so i don't see why i should change anything.
I'll be interested to see everyone elses opinions!

daniwalkes · 26/05/2009 11:49

GooseyLoosey · 26/05/2009 11:49

My ds has just turned 6. He has some problems pronouncing some sounds like "sss". The speech therapist says the only reason that she can see for this is that, him being a prolific thumb sucker, his tongue has never had the freedom of movement that other tongues have and hence has not learned "proper" movements. That said, dd is a thumbsucker too and has no similar problems.

AddictedtoCrunchies · 26/05/2009 11:52

I'm almost 39 and I still suck my thumb.

My mum never worried, her mantra was 'at least she's not snorting coke'.

I wish I didn't do it, but I do and that's that. Part of my charm.

deegward · 26/05/2009 11:55

Gosh another "older" thumb thucker her! 43 can talk properly and everything

serenity · 26/05/2009 11:58

I'm 38, when I'm stressed, tired, whatever I still suck my thumb. It's not something I consciously do, it just happens. I don't have noticeable speech problems (but I have a fainnt lisp when I'm tired) and no 'teeth' problems relating to it as far as I know (dentist has never confronted me with it anyway )

My thumbs are completely different though. They're different sizes and shapes which is a little bit freaky.

I've given up trying to give up tbh, but I did make sure that all my DCs had dummies so I could take them away...

Original poster

Imoverhere · 26/05/2009 11:59

Crunchies - I was thinking about doing this thread last night and could remember the comforting feeling of sucking my thumb when I was a kid so stuck it in (ooh er!). And have to say, it was still rather comforting .. and I'm 39 (maybe its a stage we're going through).

I personally am happy that he can settle himself - not that I don't want to do it (and he does get lots of cuddles and comforting), but I think that is a skill everyone should have.

OP posts:

basementbear · 26/05/2009 12:04

I personally don't see the problem. I suppose the thing is, if a baby has a dummy you can eventually get rid of it, whereas thumb sucking carries on a lot longer.

I sucked mine till I was 10 or so, mum always said I'd end up with sticky-out teeth but they are fine - look . Did end up with a big lump on the thumb though but it went away eventually.

And yes, I can talk proper and everything too.

cory · 26/05/2009 12:09

My 12yo still does it and her brother thinks it's disgusting to be touched by fingers that have just come out of her mouth. I can see his pov tbh. It's not a pretty sight. But she is so stuck on the habit that she can't break herself of it. If only I hadn't been too precious for that dummy!

Original poster

Imoverhere · 26/05/2009 12:14

That's the other thing? Does it really look that bad? Maybe its cause I sucked my thumb that I don't mind it.

OP posts:

cory · 26/05/2009 13:11

well, it's sort of wet and sloppy whenever she takes her fingers out of mouth; and they do feel wet to the touch; and leave fingerprints on whatever she touches

so I can well understand that he is not happy about it

cory · 26/05/2009 13:13

and to my mind it is actually a hygiene issue as much as coughing into a tissue; it's not as if she washes her hands every time she has been sucking her fingers

Original poster

Imoverhere · 26/05/2009 17:08

Fair point cory re the hygiene and others. Also, misread your original post and that it is ds who hates it, which is also fair enough.

Anyone else out there now with a view on this? Or can you perhaps give me some answers on any science behind good/bad for development etc re thumbsucking

OP posts:

underpaidandoverworked · 26/05/2009 17:42

A girl I went to school with had misshaped thumbs, had to have braces on her teeth for years and had a really bad lisp - not to say that happens to everyone (obviously it doesn't from other posts here), but that was the reason I gave all of my dcs dummies. None of them had a dummy after the age of 3.

However, it is a comfort thing and you can't force a baby to have a dummy if they don't want one. Some babies have 'blankies' some like their thumb or fingers. Am sure your DS will be fine.

Madmentalbint · 26/05/2009 18:01

My DD (15) sucks her thumb and it drives me insane. I can never understand what she's saying and she's always got wet thumbs. Bleurrghhhh! I know I'm probably making things worse by nagging her but I just can't stand her constantly sucking her thumb. It would be fine if it was just occassionaly but it's all the time, except when she's with her friends, even in the middle of the day. She's got a bit of an overbite and a slight lisp due to thumb sucking and it can't be corrected until she kicks the habit but that still isn't enough to motivate her to stop.

She had colic as a baby and having a dummy was the only thing I found to soothe her. I was desparate to break the dummy habit but now I wish I'd just waited for her to grow out of it as I'm sure she wouldn't now be a thumb sucker if I had.

I was a thumb sucker but hardly ever do it now - only when I'm very upset. My brother still sucks his thumb and doesn't care who sees him. He even drives around with his thumb in.

I think I need to chill out about it and maybe (hopefully) she'll stop on her own. I am trying to cut her a bit of slack at the moment because she is doing her exams but it's hard to bite my tongue sometimes when she insists on talking with her thumb in.

Allegrogirl · 26/05/2009 19:07

My brother sucked his thumb until about 10 and has perfect teeth, his thumbs were the same size and had no trouble with speech. Can't base a theory on one person but this has reassured me about 19 month DD who sucks her fingers. She sucks them when tired and upset and it hasn't worried me too much. She wouldn't take a dummy.

I haven't seen any strong evidence either way, it's either opinion or anecdotal so I would be interested if anyone has anything stronger.

EccentricaGallumbits · 26/05/2009 19:13

I'm a finger sucker. my teeth are fine and I can talk too!

DD is 11 and a passionate thumb sucker. Her teeth are a bit wonkey but exactly the same shape as DHs mothers (who doesn't suck thumb) so whether due to thumb or genes I don't know.

There si a theory that sucking your thumb is so relaxing and releases so many endorphins that if everybody did it there'd be no crime.

and it looks so much nicer than a massive plastic grubby dummy in a small baby/large toddlers mouth.

brimfull · 26/05/2009 19:15

my two dc were both thumb suckers

they were very good at settling themselves

both stoppped around 3 yrs old without any input other than getting shot of comfort blankets

teeth and speech fine

SoupDragon · 26/05/2009 19:16

You're right, thumbsucking causes no damage whatsoever. It must be just my imagination that DS1 (10) is 2 years into £4k worth of orthodontic treatment to correct thumb sucking damage.

The point is that you won't know if it will ruin the teeth/jaw/palate until it's done. It's like saying "my gran smokes 100 a day and is celebrating her 100th birthday"

Wilts · 26/05/2009 19:24

Ds1 is 12 and a thumb sucker. His front teeth are awful and he is currently on the waiting list for braces.

I was relieved when Ds2 took to a dummy because at least we were able to get rid of that!

pointydog · 26/05/2009 19:24

the orthodontist told us that persistent thumb sucking can alter the shape of the roof of the mouth and often work is needed to open it out again. dd2 (10) has this problem and only stopped when she heard this.

Original poster

Imoverhere · 26/05/2009 20:18

So it sounds like there is something to worry about with regards to teeth development then.

I'm in two minds now about whether to try and introduce a dummy (which I personally don't like the look of) or let him go for it with fingers and thumbs (which he currently only uses when trying to go to sleep). TBH I'm veering towards letting him suck his fingers/thumb because I did, found it v comforting, grew out of and had no problems with my teeth (but as with all parenting decisions shall probably feel guilty about!)

OP posts:

lilolilmanchester · 26/05/2009 20:29

am responding deliberately without reading other posts....

DD sucked her thumb. I asked HV whether I should give her a dummy (being fundamentally anti-dummy but prepared to keep an open mind given that DD was "sucky" unlike my first DC). HV said under no circumstances should I give her a dummy - she'd just find her thumb anyway (whereas I was thinking I could get an ortho friendly dummy, and could chuck a dummy away when the time came). I listened to the HV rather than my gut feeling.

DD is now 11. She is a stunningly beautiful girl, apart from her teeth. We're on the waiting list for otho treatment - and have been warned that these days it might not be free.

I still occasionally have to remove her thumb for her mouth. I know what I'd do if I had the time over again.

Original poster

Imoverhere · 26/05/2009 20:45

OK - seriously considering the dummy now. Did try it before but he wouldn't take it and I didn't really persevere.

Thanks everyone for your comments, they've given me more information than jus the whole 'don't do it it looks horrible' brigade (which I don't think it does)

OP posts:

zenzrrrr · 27/05/2009 21:56

probably too late to reply, but no-one seemed to mention how EVERY bug ends up in their mouth - tummy bugs, flus etc an there are the WORMS. threadworms... nice.

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