Is bad behaviour always because of bad parenting?

[blackmonday]

The reason i ask is because i've got 2 dd's aged 3 and 5. i love them more than life itself but they are SO difficult, especially the 3 year old. Everything is a battle and it's making my life miserable. She won't get dressed in the mornings, no amount of coaxing makes any difference (reward charts don't work with her either). She has the most intense tantrums that last for ages and are ear splitting. We've tried the naughty step but she'll just lay there screaming for hours. I am so embarrassed when i see my neighbours as they must think I'm the worst parent in the world (which i must be ). I try so hard to keep my cool but it can be really difficult. my five year old also has tantrums if things don't go her way and can kick me and scream hysterically. I've got no extended family to give me a break and dh works long hours so most of the time it's just me and them. They also scream at eachother constantly, even when we are out. Has anyone got any advice for me before i go mad. thanks x

just got back to this. it's just been nice to read other peoples experiences because sometimes I feel so alone with this. The other mums i speak to just don't seem to understand the intensity of the situation. These are not your average tantrums, they are off the scale. I have always said if dd2 had been my first she would def have been an only child! I will explore all the recommendations I've had on this thread and hope to find something to bring some tranquility to our home. DD2's behaviour certainly has an impact on dd1. DD1 is a very sensitive child and sometimes spends the majority of the time with her fingers in her ears (even though she can be just as noisy when the mood takes her!). She also gives in to dd2's demands just for a quiet life (as I think we all do). i'm off to do some research now

Apparently, my DH was a real pain of a kid but he's a great guy now. I try to keep this in mind as I think about my own kids!

Just to say, definitely not bad parenting more to do with the child. DS1 (6) has never had a tantrum in her life - was a fab baby who slept through at 5 months; took her to a kids theatre show at 18 months where she sat still and watched for two solid hours; always did as she was told and has been pretty perfect behaviour wise from birth(shocking eater, but that's another story!). Now at school she is doing great and the teachers give her lovely reports on parents' evenings.
DS2 (2 next month) still doesn't sleep through; refuses to sit still anywhere (including aeroplanes, busses, etc - total nightmare!); does the total opposite of everything I tell her to do; throws tantrums for England and laughs when I get cross with her. But eats well (!)
They have had the same parents, same childminder, same surroundings and we have treated them exactly the same.
Chalk and cheese. Love em both to bits and wouldn't swap them for the world. But a little better behaviour from little one would be nice......!