Nightsmares and fear of toilets at school by 5 year old

[notsosure]

My 5 year old dd has had a terribe experience at school.
Some older children told the younger reception children terrifying stories (IMO like video nasties/horror stories) and it has effected my daughter badly (worse than
the other children due to her temperament)

She wouldn't let me out of her sight when I put her to bed at night and kept callng that she was scared. She had nightmares, waking me up four times one night which effected me very badly the next day. (I am a single mum)

Over the next few days I gave her lots of reassurance and cuddles and things semed to settle down ........

until today at pick-up time at school.

She was so scared to go to the toilet on her own that she wet herself in the classroom and
was crying. It seemed no child would go with her to the toilet. The teacher did not seem very sympathetic and offered no solution. The TEaching Assisants seem very nice at the school, but I dont feel I can go behind the teacher's back on this one.

What can I do?

Please help me

Poor DD and poor you, without trying to sound condacending.
Of course you can go behind the teachers back, at the end of the day your dd is the most important thing here. Nip it in the bud. Best of luck.

I really think I would talk the teacher again, maybe she can tell the class not to take any notice of the other childrens stories. The older children need to be talked to also. Most little children struggle going to the toilets at school without being frightened by horror stories. Your poor dd I hope she feels better soon. x

Yes, you can go behind the teacher's back. However, I'd try her again - and I'd also mention what the older children have been up to, as this also needs nipping in the bud. If you don't get any joy there, I would go to the head about this.

Children need to feel happy and secure at school, and your poor DD needs kindness from her teacher and the other children. The teacher should be encouraging the others to help her, and should be talking to the whole class about these stories.

I can really imagine this happening to dd. I would insist the teacher has someone go with dd and talk her through her toilet fear. And if she wasn't supportive I would go to the head. The teacher should be taking this whole situation more seriously.

Was the teacher made aware that these stories had been told?

Funnily enough this exact thing happened with DS and it was horrible, because one of the 'storytellers' was his loved and trusted best friend....I think it was all the more scary for DS because it came from someone usually so kind.

The teacher was brilliant - she had the children in who had told the stories and gave them a real telling off, and she made them apologise to DS as well.

I couldn't have been happier - DS was still scared and worried for a couple of weeks after, but I know it helped that he knew the grown ups had taken it seriously and dealt with it.

if your dd's teacher hasn't done this then I'd be a bit annoyed I think. And have you told the teacher that dd is still anxious and worried etc, because unless they know then they can't put it extra support for her I guess?

Thanks for your replies and empathy. It is most appreciated.

Just to let you know about the stories:
I did tell the teacher the day I found out about the stories and the older children were told off.

I also told the headmistress about the stories and how worried and scared dd is about the stories. I felt reassured at this point.

The situation got worse though when dd went to the toilet and one of the older story- tellers said "who is in the toilet?". As dd is terrified of this voice, she was naturally scared (even though this girl may have not meant to scare anyone! Who knows??)

I told this to dd's teacher and she said dd had then gone on to scare the other children in the toilets and that it was in fact HER FAULT!! This was almost shouted to me in front of the whole class and I felt totally humiliated and concerned about my daughter's behaviour.

I had a firm word to dd about her behaviour towards the other children in a separate room, as I emphasised to her how horrible it is to be scared by other people.

SO NOW ........
I have a child who is extra clingy at home and school and scared to go the toilet at school. The other children aren't co-operating with her when she asks one of them to go with her to the toilet. So she wet herself instead of going to the toilet at school.

I was thinking maybe I should suggest to the teacher and headmistress that one of the teaching assistants make sure she goes to the toilet at least once a day so that she doesn't get desparate to go the toilet again until this stressful period is past?

I think the teacher was in a bit of a rush as it was the end of term when the "wee incident" happened so we didn't have a proper chat about it. The teaching assistants hadn't been aware of the "scary story incident" or the "wee incident" either and I think they should have done.

What a bleeding nightmare ..........

notsosure

Dear Acinonyx

I like your idea about having someone else go in to the toilet with Amy and talk over her toilet fear (probably a taching assistant?)

I think kindness is key here and the teaching assistants are certainly kind .

I shall certainly see the teacher and try and get this straightened out after the holidays.

Thanks again.

mustgo to sleep now

I look forward to any other replies from people.