had enough just want to get away

[jrsmum]

My ds has recently become the child from hell at 6 he is clearing his teachers desk, hitting other children, biting and scratching me, answering back, being defiant, and generally behaving terribly.
He is normally a great kid but just seems to have devlpoed this terrible attitude, when being told off he just laughs at me, I have withdrawn priviledges from him,but he does not care.
I feel like I dont want to come home from work as I just can't take anymore. DH is away at work all week and the behaviour is not as extreme when he is around at the weekend.
The school have started a contact book, which DS is proud of and can;t wait to show me the naughty things he has done at school that day.

What do I do ?

Goodness me, how trying for you, especially as you are own your own all week. Has this been a recent change with DH away all week? Maybe this is upsetting DS and he does not know how to express it so he is acting out. Does he get to speak to his Dad during the week?

Nothing excuses bad behaviour of course but it would be great if he could give you a clue! Has there been any major changes in his life that he is resentful of? Do you have any other DCs?

Or maybe it is TV. Are there any programmes he watches that sensationalize bad behaviour? We had to stop SDDs from watching rubbish US Nicolodeon etc as it just shows kids acting out most of the time and being generally bratty. SDD2 actually thought it was real and kids were allowed to behave like that! (Suite Life, Drake and Joss etc. - Shudder)

I am guessing you have tried all the normal. things, reward charts etc?

Any new foods? New drinks? Is there a chance he is being upset by another child?

Poor you. Is he able to verbalise anything to you? If not, perhaps he could maybe do you some drawings of what is bothering him?

I think some time out for you and then really try to talk to him has anything changed recently?

maybe he is missing his father?
I know its easy to say but is there a way he can be home a little more during the week.
Try getting him to have more phone contact or you can write letters together to his dad.
As a treat (and a break for you) can your DH take him out for some dad and son time without you at the weekend. But make him aware that this wont happen if he continues behaving badly.

I would also try instead of withdrawing try rewarding even if its the smallest little thing, from what u have said he seems to like the attention so make sure its or the right thing, write a book of the good things he does.

This could all be crap and not work at all for you but it might be worth a try what else have you got to loose.

Thanks for the advice BlueBumedFly but Dad has always been away, nothing has changed at home, He only watches what I let him. He is an only child so he has all my attention. He says theres nothing wrong and seems quite happy except for when having a tantrum!!!

I asked him to draw me a picture of what was going on and he drew a fish because he wants some as a pet, I told him his behaviour needed to improve first so he ripped it up and put it in the bin!!!

Completely at a loss as to what to do with him!

I do praise him for doing the right thing and he talks to him dad eveyday, can't change dads hours for a while but we are trying to but it will be at least 8 weeks until then.

DH takes him to Rugby at the weekends, but hes not her every weekend. Hard to have a break sometimes!

Blimey that is challenging. You are playing everything the right way so I guess it is a matter on consistency and consistency and consistency.

I am at a loss too then! Hopefully someone else will come along who has been through the same thing.

Good luck, if I think of anything else I will come back xx

Have you thought about whether it could be sleep? Perhaps he is overtired - I know I am in a foul mood if I don't get enough sleep, children can't cope with tiredness as well as we can though! Perhaps try a week of early nights and see if that helps. Good luck.

We have periods where our 3-and-a-half-year-old son exhibits similar behaviour and over-tiredness is a definite factor. Also, slightly contentious, but I think being overly attentive makes him 'act up' - like there's too much pressure on him. Our son was an only child, only grandchild and only nephew until his baby brother was born 4 months ago, and he became so used to being the centre of attention (and treated pretty much on an adult level) that it was if he felt invincible. Not suggesting you have another baby! Perhaps some general letting him get on with it?

Really sorry to hear you and you little lad are having a rough time Diet is really important. The obvious ones are artificial colours, flavours and some preservatives. My 6yo is dx ADHD and I had to restrict his 'crap' and sugar intake dramatically to help him at school. Even an overdose of fruit can dive him nuts (you can't win) Sleep is also another really important area to get right. It's unusual he is carrying on at school so badly - does he have any specific learning difficulties? Often when children find leaning harder, they act up out of frustration. What does teacher say about his academic ability? Sorry if you are already doing all the above, do not want to appear patronising - just some ideas.

Maybe the laugh is nervous?

DS is 6 and laughs because he is a bit scared when I am stern with him. I have to try very hard to not get even crosser.