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DS 3.3yo Resistant to change/ new things...Strategies needed

2 replies

thinkingaboutdrinking · 20/05/2009 19:13

My DS 3.3yo has always been quite resistant to change generally, and doesn't really like it when his routine is changed. We don't have set routines, but if eg at nursery they do something different from normal he gets really upset and screams and cries lots. Eg - photographer at nursery - big no no.
At home he is OK, but very particular about things - certain cups, bowls, spoons etc have to be used, although not always the same ones, just whatever takes his fancy that day - if I give him the wrong ones he can get really angry and shout lots. Somtimes hes fine though.
He also won't use a loo anywhere other than home - we have no accidents at home, and he goes when he needs to - but at nursery he just wets himself, and at grandparents house its a BIG battle to get him to go (either on their loo or our home potty)
I try and give him lots of warning when things are going to be different, which can help, but other times it doesn't help and we just have awful tantrums.
Does anyone have any ideas for helping get through this? And please tell me we will get through this - I'm hoping it is a stage rather than forever IYSWIM. Thanks

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
RGO · 20/05/2009 20:08

it would be a good idea to take some notes on when and where it is happening- eg you said that he is ok sometimes but other times gets upset if you give him the wrong bowl etc...there may be something happening outwith the incidents on particular days that are making him feel insecure...
its really important not to let him get stuck on particular routines as they can be difficult to break...
as for the toilet- if you gave him a reward for using another toilet/ make it exciting for him to do so do you think that would work??

deaconblue · 20/05/2009 20:22

ds is a bit like this (so am I tbh). I have made a point of trying to make tiny changes so that he gets used to change. eg he would only eat penne pasta so now I buy a different shape pasta every shop; he insisted on certain plate etc so I bought a range of fun plates and we now use a range. I would try making as many tiny changes as possible a bit at a time

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