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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Should DC1 see me in hospital with DC2?

7 replies

kwaker5 · 18/05/2009 21:34

I am having a C-section in a few days and will probably be kept in for 4 nights. DC1 is 2.5 and I was wondering whether it woudl be a good thing for him to come and visit us? He will be at nursery anyway for the first 3 days, but is it worth bringing him in to see me and the new baby the day before I come home and on the day we come home?

Just not sure whether it would be good for him to know I am still around even though I'm not at home or whether it would be more upsetting for him to see me but then for me not to come home?

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ilovemydogandMrObama · 18/05/2009 21:39

Yes, he will be missing you and will want to see you!

thisisyesterday · 18/05/2009 21:43

agree, he def needs to be able to come and see you.
can he not visit you after nursery on the first few days? i imagine he'll be missing yiou a lot

gigglewitch · 18/05/2009 21:43

we arranged for ds1 to be ds2's first visitor, therefore the special one, and likewise both dses were the first to see and hold dd, even though ds1 was almost 5 and ds2 just 2yo.
I realise that the CS will present you with a few practicalities, but I'd defo let him visit you asap because he'll miss his mum and he certainly needs to meet his new baby

Claire2009 · 18/05/2009 21:45

Yes!

X brought our Dd in to see me after having Ds by section, he came with her on the Fri & I'd had Ds on the Weds.

fridayschild · 18/05/2009 21:49

Yes, he should come. He will miss you.

The advice I got, which seemed to work, was that DS 1 comes in, you make a big fuss of him and chat, and eventually he will notice the baby. You say is there a baby in the cot? Oh yes, that's your baby, do you want to see him? and then when the novelty fades, you produce the present the baby has bought for DS1 and then Ds1 leaves with the new toy.

If you are stalking me you will realise this uis the second post of mine tonight where I suggest bribing DS1 with a toy. Maybe it will work without the toy.

Original poster

kwaker5 · 18/05/2009 22:06

Thanks for those - seems unanimous! Will get DH to bring him in after nursery on days 2 and 3, then over the weekend until I come home.

Bit worried about the 'not holding the baby' bit. Last time, I always seemed to end up trying to feed about 5 minutes before visiting time started.

OP posts:

shortshafe · 19/05/2009 00:21

dc1 was 22 months when I had a section with dc2.

dc1 didn't visit us on day 1 as I didn't want her to be scared by the drips, morphine pump etc. good job we had planned for her not to be there as I had a horrible reaction to some drug they'd given me and threw up violently for hours!

On day 2 daddy bought dc1 in, they visited the shop on the way and she chose a present for me and the baby (a teddy and a blanket). She stayed about an hour or so and enjoyed cuddling me and baby on the bed - I wasn't holding the baby when she arrived but if he'd needed feeding or whatever I would have been! She was REALLY bored after an hour and went home happily with Nanna.

When we took baby home Nanna and dc1 decorated the house with balloons and streamers ready for our arrival, when we arrived home we also had a present for dc1 with us (from baby)which went down well and is still referred to as 'my big sister present', 10 months later!

whatever works for you all, I felt dc1 definately needed to see us in hospital though, so she could make some sense of where I'd been and what had happend.

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