Need help on how to get my boy to take daytime naps after removing his dummy

[SharonBuxton]

Hi, I am new to mumsnet and joined after a recommendation as none of my friends have had this situation to be able to offer a solution, I hope somebody can help.

My son is 10 months old and had a dummy from birth, always for sleep and sometimes to settle him during the day. He started waiting for it in the night so we removed it 3 weeks ago by going cold turkey.

He now goes down fairly well at bedtime with minimal crying and does not wake in the night. He always slept until 7-7.15am and had 2-3 hours of naps during the day which was perfect. However, now he wakes at 6am and is very reluctant to sleep in the day, we are managing 30 mins to 1 hour 15 max.

I appreciate it is not too much earlier waking, but the extra hour was great, and without as much daytime sleep, he is often grumpy and grisly.

We are due to go on holiday next month with my family, and are sleeping in a different apartment to my son for babysitting reasons. My sister's children wake at 7am and I do not want him to wake them before this so need to get it resolved by then.

In the morning, we have tried leaving him (for up to 45 mins) but he cries continuously, we have bought him into our bed or given him a bottle in his room and tried to put him down, and have even given his dummy back but none of these have worked. We keep him as still as possible in a dark room thinking he may get bored of being awake so early!

In the day, we take him for a walk at 9-9.30am and he has up to 45 mins on a good day. He then seems to want to sleep at 2pm for again up to 45 mins on a good day, but quite often this is in the car or pushchair again which I know is not the best quality of sleep.

Should I use the crying down or cc method to force him to take a lunchtime nap (we were loosely following Gina Ford for naps although he did not stick to the nap times totally, but had a similar amount of sleep to what she recommends) and set the times for him or hope he will improve? Should I give the dummy back as a sleep cue (we have not managed to substitute it with a blanket or anything) and remove it as soon as he falls asleep?

The only other thing to add is that he stared crawling at this time and seems so excited about the world, is it usual to want less sleep when they have more exploring to do? If anyone has some advice, it would be most welcome.

Thank you

Hello! Welcome to Mums net! There will be loads of mums who can give you advice. I';m in bed poorly and am not sure of 'the answer' but wanted to wish you well.

What time does he go to bed in the evening? We have adjusted dd's bedtime and naps to suit us more in the morning. Not always worked but sometimes been good.

At 10 months dd was quite unpredictable in some ways. She had a morning nap around 10 ish then afternoon nap around 3 ish for an hour max. Looking back she definitely slept less than she does now aged 21 months.

Best advice I had was to do as much activity and feeding as possible during the day. DD was early walker so this helped. We tried to get out and about and concentrate on activity rather than sleep and foudn that good sleep followed lots of moving about and a nice feed.

Personally, and this is not qualified advice, I would do what ever helps you get through/enjoy the day most. If you enjoy a walk/ car journey with him falling asleep then do it. Sleep is precious! We were told that stuff we did with dd (bed sharing, breast feeding before naps, having car naps*) were bad habits and we we making rod for our backs but dd naturally developed better routine and 'good' habits at around 14 months. Not sure about dummy as dd wouldn;t entertain one. Other people will suggest stuff I;m sure

One thing we still do is if we feel dreadful when dd wakes up {I;m an early riser but its harder with less sleep!) We have some time in our bed while dd has bottle, maybe some stories and she also like splaying with the clock/radio/mobile phone etc while we just take 20 mins or so to wake up.

Good luck! It will get easier as he gets bigger

• During more sleep deprived times, if I had a jounreny to go on and I knew dd would fall asleep I would take a little drink, maybe a magazine and a nice cushion and stop on the roadside for a nie nap. You'd be amazed how pleasant it is with the window open a little, tot in the back happily snoozing, mummy in the front catching some zzzzzzs....

TBH his sleep pattern sounds normal to me, good even. The early waking is probably the light mornings. Do you have blackout blinds in his room?

I see you've tried giving the dummy back and that hasn't worked which would have been my first suggestion. I have never liked crying down or the cc method, it just seems cruel to me and I strongly believe the bed and bedrooms hould be a happy safe comfortable place. That said, I know its worked for others to settle baby when first putting them down for the night time sleep. It may be he's dropping that first morning nap. I think I'd try skipping that for now and give him the opportunity to sleep after lunch.

DS1 was always an early waker. DH and I would take it in turns to get up with him. At 4.5y he still gets up earlier than we'd like but will play in his bedroom now

Thank you so much for the advice mumblecrumble and Pheebe.

We do now have blackout blinds as when the clock first changed, he was waking early but his dummy would settle him back to sleep.

He was on 3 naps before this and I am not sure he would last until lunch for a sleep, but I could try it and move lunch forward slightly to see if he will have 1 nice long nap, that could work.

I know the situation is not desperate and I am probably being greedy wanting that extra bit of sleep and catch up time in the day, so perhaps I will give it a few weeks longer and see if we can find his natural pattern and follow it from there.

Thanks again for your advice, a cushion is the car is a great idea, I hope you feel better soon mumblecrumble!!!

Don't feel guilty sleep is precious when they're tiny

Something else we also noticed from DS1 to DS2, following their sleep cues is waaaaay more important then clock watching for a specific nap time. They will nap regularly but its working out when they are ready to sleep and getting them into bed then so they get the 'best' sleep for them.

DS2 has always been a fab sleeper and loves his bed and we put that down largely to us being that much more aware of when he is sleepy and giving him the opportunity to sleep. Course it doesn't always work as life must go on.