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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

do some children just not want to play with toys?

26 replies

Hasakane · 13/05/2009 21:36

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MagicGenie · 13/05/2009 21:51

Hi. I don't think you're doing anything wrong! DS1 (4) isn't big into toys, he'd rather scoot/bike/run around, go to the park and strut about with his friends in whatever fantasy land they're in that day, read or draw.

He faffs about a lot with DS2 (nearly 2) in the garden; they rely on each other a lot for entertainment.

Does he have little playmates that he sees? Do you take him to toddler groups/play groups? As long as he's OK/relatively happy/sociable when he goes to these, I wouldn'y worry about him.

Original poster

Hasakane · 13/05/2009 21:59

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CarGirl · 13/05/2009 22:01

My eldest NEVER did toys and wasn't even interested in the TV until she was over 2 fortunately my younger ones all love playing with their toys! My eldest was a people person & still is at 12.

BlackLetterDay · 13/05/2009 22:34

My Dd(5) has never really played with toys, we have wasted so much money over the years. She just seems to enjoy prancing about doing erm stuff and fighting playing with her brother, the only thing she really likes are her soft toys.

Original poster

Hasakane · 13/05/2009 22:45

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marymungoandmidge · 13/05/2009 23:07

If he likes pottering with you in the kitchen how about bringing the wooden cooker in to let him 'pretend cook' with Mummy...he may just love the social aspect of play, and being with someone...rather than going off on his own to do things. What about books, does he like absorbing himself in books?
How about putting together an eclectic mix of small toys (from the stash!) in a rucksack for him to get interested in, and cart around with him...we did this for my DS and he loves it! The smaller, more obscure the better! I really don't think its anything to be concerned with, other than you may not always get any quiet time yourself!

Original poster

Hasakane · 13/05/2009 23:21

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luvaduck · 13/05/2009 23:26

are you going to have another child?? if so - don't give them away just yet!

marymungoandmidge · 13/05/2009 23:28

Do you think maybe he is trying to get your attention constantly ? Do you make time just for him - to have a laugh and a giggle, tickling, singing silly songs...sorry, this was just my first thought! It does seem like he wants to copy you, be with you ...? Do you feel the kind of toys he has suit him. If he is rather methodical, how about puzzles and maybe more cerebral activities? Does he go to playgroup/pre-school. If so, what feedback do you have? If not have you considered?

izyboy · 13/05/2009 23:29

I think as a kid I would have preferred the 'real' stuff too. I can see why you might be concerned, but if he is ok in all other areas this might just be his personality. Sounds like ideal future husband material! But seriously, what are you and Dad like? Are you both into 'detail?'

JeanPoole · 13/05/2009 23:31

wow he sounds cool.

Original poster

Hasakane · 13/05/2009 23:33

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Original poster

Hasakane · 13/05/2009 23:36

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JeanPoole · 13/05/2009 23:37

can i borrow him for a week? he sounds wonderful.

just relax and enjoy your fab boy

marymungoandmidge · 13/05/2009 23:41

Honestly Hasakane, he sounds completely normal...just rather perfect! My own DS (2.10) is quite particular, sometimes annoyingly so...but does put things away, and likes to help alot...his D is also quite meticulous (a Virgo!!!!!), and I am a bit of a control freak so no surprises...He even eats 'neatly', and used to neatly line up all his toys just so (which at the time worried me!). My DD is complete opposite, a hearty but messy eater, never puts things away, or even attempts to (if asked)and wants he independence completely...so no copying Mummy!

beesonmummyshead · 14/05/2009 18:09

i'll buy your lovely wooden toys please

dd loves toys, but apparently as a child I was just like your ds, and i'm a (relatively) normal person now!

SamsMama · 14/05/2009 18:18

My DS is 2 and though he will play with toys occasionally, he doesn't nearly as much as I used to think he "should". He's much more of an active, outside boy as well. Just their personalities, I'm sure! Your son sounds like a lot of fun.

OptimistS · 14/05/2009 20:53

Hasakane, your DS sounds lovely. My DTs have an obscene amount of toys that I am slowly whittling down via freecycle. None of them have kept their interest for more than 5 minutes at a time. They are happiest when doing things with me or with each other. Absolute favourite activity is going on walks with the dog, followed by playing in the park or garden (slug spotting is the highlight of the day at the moment), reading comes in third. DD (2.4) is rather like your DS. I jokingly refer to her having OCD as she not only puts things back where she got them from, but actually pats the drawer/box/whatever after doing so!

If anything, your little boy sounds quite advanced for his age, so I wouldn't worry too much about his development. As long as he is interacting socially with you, he will be fine. Social play and development is far more important IMO than the ability to play with toys. After all, our ancestors never had the luxury of lots of toys or TV or anything...

Original poster

Hasakane · 14/05/2009 21:14

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OptimistS · 14/05/2009 22:18

Aw, sweet.

I think the OCD streak is just a bit of a phase that many toddlers go through. My friend's little girl (3.2) is text-book 'normal' in almost every way, but she gets extremely cross with people if they don't line up the utensils on her play cooker in just the right order...

Seriously, if he's got empathy and social skills, and he's playing (just not with toys), I don't think you've got anything to worry about. That said, if you're concerned, speak to your HV. I'm sure she'll reassure you.

izyboy · 14/05/2009 22:25

You have just explained everything re Dad and similar traite's to your son. My Ds's bf'S Dad is v tidy and neat he is the same as his Dad. My DS follows his Dad he comes out of school looking like a tramp a bit like his dad. Can't keep either of them looking tidy.

izyboy · 14/05/2009 22:26

Too many dads in that statement.. but I am sure you get my drift.

izyboy · 14/05/2009 22:29

I know what you are thinking and I really feel that you have nothing to worry about. He is just 'copying' stuff and has 'interests' that are not necessarily 'imaginative play.'

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 17/05/2009 21:33

My dd was very much like this when she was smaller as she has got older she has got more "into" toys and imaginitive play but when she was younger she was very much into real life rather than toys
In fact my little angel changed a lot when her brother became a toddler and he is the polar opposite and she seen him doing things (drawing on the wall and other boisterous things) she thought oooh that looks fun.
I think the OCD type thing is very normal both of mine as toddlers have gone through this as have many toddlers I know. One example of dd's was I discovered I must usually put on her pyjama bottoms before her top because a couple of times I did it the other way withou thinking and ended up having to take the top off and put the trousers on first, it went on for aes this way.

raffyandted · 18/05/2009 00:08

My son is 3.5 and hardly plays with his toys at all. He wants to be with me all the time ( see my thread stressing that he's too demanding)& only plays with his toys if I'm down on the floor playing with him. Even then he usually won't actually DO much, he says he wants to watch me build the duplo/do the puzzle/whatever.

Strangely though he will play quite happily in the bath for a good half hour, chattering away to himself & making a little story with his duplo people & cars, but he NEVER does that anywhere else in the house. His sand & water table in the garden will sometimes entertain him for a while. Other than that, not interested.

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