Advice Pls - should I tell the class teacher about this....?

[fettle]

DD (just 5 last month) has been telling me things that a boy in her class has been saying and I don't know whether to say anything to the class teacher or whether these are 'normal' things for a 5 year old boy to say.

First thing was a conversation we had at the end of last term
"X is going to die"
"We're all going to die darling eventually"
"But he's going to die soon"
"why do you think that?"
"he told me, he said his Mummy is going to kill him"
"That's not true darling"
"It is Mummy, he said she's going to run him over in her car"

2nd time was last night
"X wants to kill Y(girl)"
"That's not very nice, what's he doing?"
"He's throwing stones at the back of her neck and he says he has to find really sharp ones to kill her properly"

3rd time tonight
"X is going to kill Z(another girl)"
"Don't you mean Y"
"No he's going to kill Z"
"I'm sure he's not really darling"
"He is, Mummy, he's going to bring a gun in tomorrow to kill her"

Needless to say I'm a bit shocked - I know that his home life is not textbook ideal, but whose is?, but not having a 5 year old boy, not sure if this obession with killing is normal or whether I should bring it to anyone's attention? I'm not sure what they would do about it - I suppose I'm concerned about his welfare really as to me it doesn't strike me as a happy, normal, playful 5 year old type of conversation?

What do you all think?
Thanks for your thoughts

hmm hard to say.

My DCs are quite interested in death (ages 5 and 7). DS might well say to me 'I'm going to kill you Mummy - look, I am killing you with my hand'.

so X could be doing this, but more obsessively

or perhaps he has been watching violent computer games?

or perhaps something else. I can understand why you feel uneasy. I think in your shoes I probably would mention it to the teacher, and she can keep an eye on things.

I've had a similarish situation over the past week. Friend of ds's (reception) making odd/hurtful comments sometimes in my hearing, eg, he'd push my son onto the road so he got run over.

I deliberated and just mentioned it to the teacher who is very approachable - she said she was glad i'd said something and they were aware of the issue but would keep a close eye on it.

So i would probably mention it to be honest. I think some children just need a little more help on knowing whats appropriate to say/how to express themselves.

I would mention it personally.

the first thing that came into my head when i read your OP was that its something he's seen on tv. my ds aged almost four has started reanacting things from tv, not hings about death but he has definitely started to notice whats happening. my suggestion would be to mention to the teacher what your dd has said to you. even if its not something thats happening at home, it is something that he's bringing to school and isnt something you feel comfortable with. this gives the tacher an opportunity to talk to child and/or parents.

My DS talks like this to some extent but it is less directed at people iyswim...

I talk to the teachers about it but that's it. He plays on the Wii but the extent of violence there is lego batman.

Find it very wearisome I must say but I think hope it's fairly normal for some boys.

Thanks all - I'll just mention it to her teacher and then she can decide what/if to do about it.

At least I'll be prepared for when 20mth DS is older! DD certainly is obsessed with death sometimes, but thankfully not violently so!

Thanks again.

I agree its definitley worth mentioning

my 6 year old is obsessed with death (but not with killing / murdering)

on friday at dinner he was saying that he would die before his best friend as he is (2 weeks) older so would be dieing first

(I try to explain that normally to die you need to be old and very very poorly)

Just to update that I mentioned it to the teacher this afternoon. Interestingly she was aware of the first instance as another mother had mentioned it previously, but she didn't know about the most recent ones.

She was very good and said that she was pleased I'd mentioned it. Not sure what, if anything she's going to do though.

Thanks again for your thoughts.

You did the right by mentioning - some things that kids say can, taken in context with other information be signs of abuse etc.

well at least if another mother has mentioned it then she knws you arent just picking on this child and she will have to take note of it. it could be totally innocent but i think you did the right thing by saying.