what would you do in this scenario?

[bumbly]

you have child who wakes up after three hour nap with dirty nappy

grumpy but you hug him and gently place on mat

you quickly like lightning change his nappy..30 sec max..am good at this

he is even more grumpy however

then you wait and see what he wants..soothing gentle vioce. calm...ask read, water, food, play

so you take him downsatirs - after he says play downstairs...but he starts to screams his but off and then runs upstairs..you wait and then he starts to come ack down screaming even more

basically he just starts screaming and screaming more and more to point where i lost my rag as totally absolutely dumbfounded what the little one wanted..no idea esp after he stops midway on stairs

calms down after been told off

but i didnt want to tell him off

i waited, tried to be calm but had no chance in end as was left totally like an idiot at stairs waiting for little one to stop screaming

what would have done?

Depends, how old is said grumpy monkey?

What age is he? Sounds a bit like my 2.6 year old. They just don't know what they want sometimes and it really upsets them. I'd have just left him to it to be honest (keep an eye on him, obviously). In my experience the worse thing you can do it to try and "fix" the problem.

I'd give him a hug and just hold him until he calms down, or if he didn't want holding and it made him scream more I'd just leave him to it and go make a cup of tea, then go back and comfort him when he calmed down.

Why tell him off? He hadn't done anything wrong.

Take outside for a change of scenery, either in pushchair or carried, ignore screams and distract.

Your ds is a couple of months younger than my dd iirc and telling off is perhaps not appropriate at this age imo.

Sometimes they wake up grumpy, especially if grumpy and dirty.

And telling off for not having done anything wrong never appropriate.

sorry meant to say 21 months old

did take little one to garden after much fuss..never wants to chnage sceneary and go out..anyway

and then never happy with anything in garden..has loads of lovely toys but nothing

moaning moaning!

agree he did nothing wrong in a way..but in a way not also appropriate behaviour to just scream after i really was tryiung hard hard to be nice and copperative..i know he is little ...but he does know what is good and bad behaviour..i know he does!

Sometimes they are better left to their own devices. I don't think I would have done anything different tbh first time around. Now I'm on No 2 child, I am a bit more....patient? Maybe not the right word, but next time, straight into pushchair or sling and out the door?

21 months is a tough time, they have licked walking and talking is just around the corner. It's just frustration. Hard for you, but ignore, ignore, ignore and remain cheerful. Don't enter into bargaining, don't worry about offering a pacifying biscuit just do whatever you can to keep yourself calm. We've all been through it!

than you sitnker...amazing words that have cheered me up as i sit here crying on computer!

thank you!

oh crikey - I know the waking up badly scenario VERY well !

You find yourself trying to break the cycle don't you?

I find that sometimes one thing works and another doesn't and then the next time, it's all different again.

Each child is different I would say and if the holding them and not speaking and letting them work it out or the pacifying food (can be low blood sugar thing sometimes) doesn't work, then I would go for distraction and if not, then in to buggy and out of the door.

Was his nap too long for him do you think? Is he going down with something?

i agree with Stinker

frustrating age all round

i think a biccie is a good idea - you can also go in another room and scream/cry/eat 83 hob nobs and re-group (making sure your DS is safe)

TBH - they can be grumpy - no rhyme or reason half the time

You are welcome Bumbly, and if it makes you feel better just a bit more, I have felt exactly the same second time around and still had to take myself outside for a stern kick up the ass!!!! You are doing absolutely, perfectly, brilliantly!

Keep going x

thank you stinker, ruby and biscuit..you are always so nice to me on all m forums

and to me you just sound like the best mums ever...

thank you!!! means a lot to me...so much more than i can type here in my limited time online

Please don't see it as moaning, or bad behaviour. A 21 month old crying and screaming is not doing anything wrong, it isn't bad behaviour, it is just their way of communicating and or venting their frustration at not being able to communicate effectively.

I know it's really hard, but try to be more patient, if he's screaming it's for a reason, be patient and either try to understand what he's trying to tell you or leave him alone to calm down a bit and then try again.

Getting cross will not help, I know it's really hard, but it will just make the situation worse.

He's only a baby still, really.

Both DDs would do this and I found that the best way to stop the tantrum was to wake them up and IMMEDIATELY (i.e. the moment you woke them up) offer food. So I'd go into the room armed with a breadstick or box of raisins. Worked every time.

dd1 was like this. I found once she had woken up, she needed a bit of 'coming round' time. I would go into the room, and wander around putting things away, opening curtains, gently gently, whilst talking to her quietly and telling her all about what I was doing. Trying to touch her, even if she was crying, just seemed to make things worse.

If we had to get out of the house fairly quickly or I just wasn't in the mood to go softly softly I used to take the other approach and stride loudly into her room is the most amuzing way I would think of (teddy on my head, spinning around, pretending not to be able to find her type thing). The crazyness of it al seemed to jolt her out of her grumpiness.

Tis terribly difficult though. It doesn't last forever. How I wish dd1 still had naps .

What worked with my grumpy guts was a sippy cup of milk on waking

aw bumbly - believe me i am muddling through as best i can!

chin up chuck - another thing is tomorrow is another day and all that

clean slate, start again and don't get hung up on what happened today

How ya doing Bumbly? Any better?

Sometimes with 20 month old DD sitting together and watching 'something special' with Mr Tumble on the telly, is the only thing that will cheer her post-sleep grumps up.