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Signs of PND.....concerned about my "new" friend :-(

12 replies

Biglips · 11/05/2009 13:31

ive made friends with 2 mums last December as their kids goes to my dd1's nursery. The mums are great and we do go to each others houses every week and already had a nightout. We all get on well.

One of the mums got a baby that is 6-7 weeks younger than my dd2 (mine is nearly 8 months old) but it starting to dawn on me that she may have pnd. As her dd only starting to get better with her sleep as before she used to wake up every hour then 2 hours when she was breastfed and now once a night whilst she is bottlefed, (she also got a 4 yrs old ds who doesnt listen to his mum), she says that she only cried when she is having her AF monthly but it seems to come by too often and she already smashed a plate on a wall a few months ago.

We were talking last week about general stuff and she said that she was having her injection inserted at the family planning clinic. She was on her period on that day and was crying. The lady asked if she was ok and asked her to go and see her GP cos she may have pnd, but my friend said "i havent got it, its only when im on", me and my other friend had a talk about her and she was thinking the same thing about her having pnd as we can feel the tension in her voice and body language so therefore her baby cant settle with her but only with her dad and other relaxed people.

We really wants to help her but i havent known her long enough and dont want to lose her too but unsure how do i word it??? (me and my other friend knows whats the prob is, its that her son doesnt listen and her baby got a high pitch scream when she is hungry or tired).

thanks

im nipping out now and will reply back when i return back.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Biglips · 11/05/2009 15:34

bump

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Stigaloid · 11/05/2009 15:47

Your friend needs to want help and see that she has a problem - i had terrible PND and until i decided i needed help i was very determined to just get on with it. There is a lot of feeling of failure about admiting you need help but once you ask, it really is a godsend.

I don't know what to advise - perhaps just discussing about PND or suggesting she speak to her health visitor about her hormonal AF times and see where it goes from there.

Good luck

PS you are a lovely lady to care so much for your friend. She is lucky to have you.

Biglips · 11/05/2009 16:05

i mean dont get me wrong but she is a good mum but needs a break from the kids...she is going back to work in july and its summat that i think she needs to do.

Me and my other friend had even suggested together that we would take the kids off her for couple of hours in the afternoon but i dont want her to think that she is a crap mum when she is not but we wants to help her.

hmm its hard if she was a mate ive known for years then i wud say it out with her.

Always her back is getting worse since she had her dd, possibly cos she holds herself up.

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Biglips · 11/05/2009 17:12

i know how to talk about it to her but dont know how to start the conversation about it

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Biglips · 11/05/2009 19:09

bump

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Biglips · 11/05/2009 20:29

xxxxxxxxxx

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bridewolf · 12/05/2009 10:11

your her friend, all you have to do is listen.

let her talk, let her sit and have a cup of tea without the baby in her arms.

if she asks for help you will be there.

thats all you can do.

a friend with a listening ear is a rare, wonderful thing, and what all of us needs at times like this.

Biglips · 12/05/2009 15:34

thanks bridewolf

i just hope that she will admit it though

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isenhart7 · 12/05/2009 18:46

Admit what??? You've only known this woman since December-she could be tense by nature for all you know. One can be overwhelmed and/or hormonal without suffering from PND!

Biglips · 12/05/2009 18:49

well not to admit but maybe for her to speak to her HV as it may be cos she is hormonal but i cant force her but be there for her.

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isenhart7 · 12/05/2009 19:55

Okay-being weepy during AF is not an indicator of PND , as far as I know. Especially, if your friend's always been a bit weepy then which might be what she was saying at the clinic-dunno. Lethargy and exhaustion are signs of PND but even though your friend's been sleep deprived you didn't mention this as a problem. A baby with a high-pitch scream would make me tense too and this tension does not mean that your friend has not bonded with her baby. Read up on the signs of PND and see if you really think your friend has any of the symptoms.

BigBellasBeerBelly · 12/05/2009 20:08

It could be PND or it could be what she thiks it is - PMS - which causes terrible problems for some women.

Either way if it is bothering her she should see the doc. Maybe make up a friend who had PMS and went to the doc and they put her on some sort of pill and it evened it out? As that does happen - and PMS is easier to think about than PND, and she has mentioned PMS...

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