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Original poster

23month old DD has started banging her head on the wall.........tell me this is a phase and she'll grow out of it, please.

30 replies

LackaDAISYcal · 09/05/2009 22:16

DD has started having enormous, horrendous, long lasting (plus 30mins) tantrums over the last week (welcome to the terrible twos). she has always been pretty fixed in her ways, but it has been manageable till now.

However, this week has seen a viral thing and she has been out of sorts and the tantrums have really stepped up a gear, culminating tonight in her banging her head off the wall because she wasn't getting her own way.

I've heard of this before, but am wondering just how common it is, whether she is going to hurt herself or do herself some real damage, or whether it's a phase that will pass?

We've also noticed that where previously she was very clear in her diction and we could understand what she has been saying, she is getting harder to understand and is also regressing with wanting to be spoon fed and babbling rather than talking, pointing at things rather than asking for them (things we know she knows the words for), but we have a 6mo old as well and I think she is just copying him/trying to be a baby.

My 7 yo never did anything like this, so it's all new and very confusing.

help!

OP posts:
LittleMissNorty · 09/05/2009 22:25

Daisy, I have a nephew who bruises his head banging it against the wall, and its due to ear infections. Sounds like yours is more due to frustration, but just a thought.

Sounds like the regression may be due to DS2....we're finding the same with DD....she was spoon fed all of her dinner tonight and I often find her seating in the bouncy chair with one of his blankets ....so will be watching your thread for wise words....

Original poster
LackaDAISYcal · 09/05/2009 22:32

the tantrums are just awful norty; yesterday she went on for over half an hour and nearly made herself sick; I had to force her into the pram to go and get DS1 from school and she was screaming at me; really screaming. And all because I wouldn't let her stay in the car and play in her new car seat. she pulled bumble out of his chair and hit him round the head as well because she wanted to sit in it.

Is it a girl thing? or a personality thing?

OP posts:
Original poster
LackaDAISYcal · 09/05/2009 22:33

re the ear thing; she was at the docs on Thursday because of this viral thing and her ears are clear.

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Slickbird · 09/05/2009 22:33

My friend's LO does/did this - I think it's usually a phase and I think, it's best to ignore it. I seem to remember some baby show with some toddler doing that and they managed to train the baby to at least throw themselves on a bean bag to do it. I can't remember how tho I'm afraid. I think it is a phase and maybe if it doesn't pass worth mentioning to the HV. It is very distressing tho, to watch. (I also know that my DH's brother AND sister both did it as children and they turned out ok!!)

My DD2 (20 months) has done it a couple of times in her car seat or high chair and watched for a reaction and I just went quiet and serious and told her not to do it. Then I tried to distract her immediately with something else. BUT she wasn't in the middle of a full blown tantrum so I'm not suggesting that would necessarily work in your case.

Do wish you luck with it tho. xx

LittleMissNorty · 09/05/2009 22:36

Blimey, tantrums sound dreadful. We've had some but not that severe and distraction / ignoring has generally worked.

Hope its just a phase and passes quickly.

Cocodrillo · 09/05/2009 22:38

This sounds just like my DD2, now 28 months. She had a phase when she would headbutt the wall/wardrobe at bedtime, and if we refused to get her up to start the day (mainly because it was 4am). She has also headubtted the front door a few times when thwarted and in a rage, and is generally just all round crosser than DD1 ever was. The headbutting was really scary and distressing, but she never did herself any harm, and she does seem to have stopped now, so I think it is likely to be just a (horrible) phase.

HellHathNoFury · 10/05/2009 07:49

Daisy,
I was like this until I was about 3 or 4. I would headbutt the wall in fury/rage/temper and do it til I hurt.
I would also throw myself backwards off chairs/out of prams etc, all in rage.
Then I would blame my mother.

Sadly... it's a personality thing and a phase. I wish I could say illness as it would get better more quickly

Apparently I only improved when I started school.

Your DD has always sounded like a feisty little beast! Hopefully she won't be as bad as me!

LeninGrad · 10/05/2009 08:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LackaDAISYcal · 10/05/2009 10:38

thanks for the reassurance. she has her two year check coming up so I'll mention it to the HV then and try and distract her as best I can. she has been belting her little brother round the head this morning and has had four minor (for her!!) tantrums.

lol fury at feisty little beast......like mother like daughter

I like your distraction technique Leningrad and will give it a go.

she does the full blown lying on the floor beating her fists as well, but usually looks for a comfortable place to do it in!

I can only assume she is doing it because she has had a few knocks to the head when playing recently and has gotten a cuddle and some attention so is figuring she will get the same? Quite clever to relate the two I suppose.

OP posts:
LeninGrad · 10/05/2009 12:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LackaDAISYcal · 10/05/2009 13:59

thanks Leningrad . She usually says sorry afterwards and wants a bit of a cuddle which we give her.

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HellHathNoFury · 10/05/2009 15:07

Daisy, I think our 2 year olds should NEVER, EVER meet

Original poster
LackaDAISYcal · 10/05/2009 15:54

they would try to take over the world!!

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Pea123nut · 10/05/2009 21:19

I think it is such a lot for a 2 year old to cope with, being 2 and having a baby around all the time. My 3.5 year old still has tantrums, to the point of me thinking that shes crazy. But i'm sure its down to coping with a younger sibling who is nearly 2. I've got one child coming out of trantrums and one just starting them, help???

Original poster
LackaDAISYcal · 10/05/2009 21:36

lol peanut, my nearly seven year old still has tantrums!

Sounds like you have your hands full and you have given me something to look forward to when DS2 reaches 2 and DD is 3.5

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fannybanjo · 10/05/2009 21:42

Hi Lacks - its PGwithnumber3, new name now!

I feel for you, its bloody hard work with 2 under 2! How are you finding things? DD3 is becoming pretty hard work, she is barely napping. DD2 is still an angel though, I am lucky in that respect but am well aware that could change very very soon...

I have no wise words for you with regards to your DD's tantrums. Although tantrums in a 6 year old, I can write a book on them!

fannybanjo · 10/05/2009 21:43

Oh yeah, forgot to say, I bought a P&T Sport last week, the M&P was an nightmare! The pram itself was okay, just too fecking wide.

Original poster
LackaDAISYcal · 10/05/2009 21:55

helooooooo

I was just thinking about you the other day (in a non stalkerish way you understand ) and wondering how you were getting on.

Bumble (DD's affectionate name for DS2) is 27 weeks now and a happy little soul, who loves his milk and, just recently, food. We think he's going to be Yorkshire's first sumo wrestler. He doesn't sleep terribly well either, and still wakes for a feed anything between three and six times a night. I muddle along until I'm on my knees, then DH does a night shift and gives him EBM so I can get some kip and recharge my batteries. He only naps for 20mins in the morning and then another hour later on as well, and NEVER at the same time as DD so we are living amidst constant clutter here as I never get anything done.....DH thinks I'm making it up when I say life is much easier if I contain us all in the living room all day and thinks it's just an excuse to MN

My P&T is great, I love, love, love it, but we are on our third seat unit and second hood and toddler seat as it keeps falling to bits. Apparently quality control on the manufacture of the material bits isn't their strong point ; although my friend has a red one and hasn't had any issues, but a couple of people I know with black ones like mine have had similar problems.

oops....that was a bit longwinded...but you did ask

I'll look out for you more often now that I know your new name

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fannybanjo · 11/05/2009 09:37

Well your life sounds pretty much like mine. Crazy!

I'll put some new pics of the DD3 on my profile when I get chance. She is very cheeky already, has us running around after her already. She doesn't like sitting in her chair for very long, she likes constant attention. I don't mind though, they are worth it.

I am trying to get her into some type of routine this week, I am lucky in that DH works a lot from home so he is here to let me have a bit of a lie in if I have had a bad night but I really need to start getting up everyday at 7am, feeding her then keeping her awake for a couple of hours then starting to structure her naps from then on. We'll see!

That's poor re your P&T, I haven't known that before. I have got a black one as well, I hope it doesn't happen to me. The only problem I have with it is that DD3 is very nosy so she isn't that happy being in the newborn bit with the toddler seat on top when she is awake. She wants to be looking out. I may be using the toddler seat on the bottom before I am supposed to. She is a big baby as well, not much space for her in the newborn mode. How old was your DS2 when you put him in it underneath?

Have a good day!

Original poster
LackaDAISYcal · 11/05/2009 14:52

Your DH got a new job then? and weren't you moving house?

I think F was four and a half months-ish when I put him in the toddler seat down below. Now he is over six months he usually sits up top and DD hops in and out of the toddler seat. I know you aren't meant to do that, but there isn't that much between them weight wise and I have the panniers which helps balance it up a bit!

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fannybanjo · 11/05/2009 20:09

We sold our house in March, moved back to our first house we ever bought (which we rented out) and are starting up a new business with proceeds of sale from house.

It is like a weight has been lifted, we were living far above our means in a 5 bedroom Victorian house. We are so much happier although a bit squashed in 3 bedrooms compared to 5.

I need to get the pannier bags, there is not a lot of storage in P&T but I do love it, can you remember how much I dithered during my pregnancy!? FGS, like I would have the time to worry now. I will use it like yourself, with DD2 popping in and our of the toddler seat. She only weighs 22lb so hardly heavy.

DD3 has been wonderful today, have gone back to swaddling her and she has slept for 4 hours. Gone down at 7pm like a dream. She will be swaddled until she starts school!

Lulumama · 11/05/2009 20:10

yooo hoooooo fanny !! how are you?? so glad things are going b etter for you
but i miss you

Original poster
LackaDAISYcal · 11/05/2009 20:24

I'm glad things are going well for you . Sometimes it takes a bit of a shake up to help us realise that life is pretty darn good.

I hope to see you around a bit more

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fannybanjo · 11/05/2009 20:32

Lulu!!!!!!! I miss you too my lovely. When are you going to come and visit? Wait until you see the climbing frame we have got in the garden - {heres a link to have a nose} that DH's friend gave us for nowt! He is loaded and his kids had grown out of it! DD1 and DD2 are in their element, it is like having a park in the garden!

Lacks, I have been slightly spoilt in my life and I am now well and truly humble as to what makes you happy. It most certainly isn't possessions. Hard lesson to learn but one I am glad I have.

Lulumama · 11/05/2009 20:39

some of those climbing frames cost more than my house ! would love to visit. will get DH to drive us over and he can go to chesire oaks and i can drink coffee and gossip with you!!