20 week old - not great with strangers...?

[Fufulina]

Hi - just a sense check really. I have a 20 week old DD who is lovely (not biased or anything). She's happy and smiley, but isn't great if given to strangers (i.e. friends she doesn't see often).

I was out today and a friend's mum said I was making a rod for my own back because I wasn't happy passing her round the 11-odd people there (it was a hen do so lots of people she has never seen and will probably never see again) - I did pass her over but inevitably she started crying until passed back. And then she was completely fine again.

Is this normal behaviour for a 20 week old? I don't see the point in forcing her to go to other people until she's happy doing that. Friend's mum's argument was that if I had to go into hospital for 2 weeks - what would happen then?? Ridiculous argument. Anyway - please let me know your thoughts.

I think your friends mum is being ridiculous I dont know any 20 week old baby who would enjoy being passed around a table with strangers. I would find it diificult sitting at a table with strangers never mind being held or cuddled.......

If you had to go into hospital surely you DP or close relative who she knows would be with her so yes its completely irrelevant.

My DS is 23 weeks and we have the exact same problem. As he is my first, I didn't know if this was common to all babies, or if he is particularly shy. He isn't happy unless he's with me, DH or my parents and gets v upset if passed around - I went into work to visit colleagues this week and they all wanted a hold, and by the end he was inconsolable. I'm hoping it's just a phase and that it doesn't mean he's going to be really shy. Like you though, I don't see the point in passing him round a lot (especially after I saw what he was like at work) as it just upsets him.

Totally normal not to like being handed round strangers at this age. And even if she does turn out to be a shy child, she'll do better having her confidence increased by not baing traumatised by something she doesn't enjoy! "Rod for your own back" indeed! If you needed to go into hospital, why would you hand her over to hordes of strangers?

Thanks all - am still riled by it! I don't get the 'rod for my own back' comments from my mum or MIL, so it completely came out of the blue from someone else's mum!