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did i do this right?

34 replies

booyhoo · 08/05/2009 09:13

ds(almost 4) has been playing up a bit recently, i have previously posted about naughty step, and yesterday he slapped another little girl in our neighbourhood. so anyway this morning he came into my room at 6.30, he usually isnt up til 7.30, and asked for cartoons on. i told him they werent on yet as it was too early and said that he could play in his room or go to sleep in my bed until it was time to get up. he whinged that he wanted cartoons but got into my bed anyway. he continued to whinge so i told him if he was going to whinge and keep asking for cartoons then i would take him to his own room. he kicked me. so i took him to the naughty step where he sat banging the stairgate off the banisters. when i went to get him off he had peed on the floor, i gnored this as its an old trick he does on the naughty step so didnt want to give attention for it. anyway as a punishment for kicking me i took him to his room and told him he wouldnt be getting to watch any cartoons today. i put him in the room and closed the door and went back to my bedroom. for an hour he kept coming out of the room kicking and punching my door and screaming really high pitched scream. i persisted and made him go back to the room each time and after an hour he eventually stayed. i left him for ten minutes and then went and told him it was tim to get up now. he said he didnt mean to be bold. did i do the right thing? what would you have done in this situation. im due to give birth in two weeks and really want to curb this behavior beforehand.

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booyhoo · 08/05/2009 13:03

i hadnt thought of it that way cory, thank you. at the minute im thinking of how much attention the baby will need but i am also aware of how this can be interpreted by ds, i didnt however consider that he will need me more than the baby, which i agree is so true.

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3littlefrogs · 08/05/2009 13:08

I think that 6.30 is a perfectly reasonable time for a nearly 4 year old to wake up. He was probably hungry. Easiest thing to do would be to go downstairs, give him some food and a drink and put the TV on and you snooze on the sofa for another half an hour.

applepudding · 08/05/2009 13:09

TBH I would have put the cartoons on for him in the first place. Why do you decide he can watch the TV at 7.30 but not 6.30? If his normal programmes are not on that early, why not put on a DVD?

I'm not advocating that you give in to bad behaviour but I don't understand why his initial request couldn't have been met.

An hour for cartoons for your DC, and extra hour rest for you, then you could have both had some breakfast together.

booyhoo · 08/05/2009 13:10

you know 3littlefrogs looking back on it now i totally agree.

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3littlefrogs · 08/05/2009 13:15

But you are pregnant, tired and didn't have the benefit of hindsight at the time.

It is a fine line between making life reasonably peaceful and easy, whilst still maintaining reasonable rules and expectations, and either going OTT and making everything a battle, or imposing no boundaries at all.

Try to remember that when the baby comes your ds will regress, and you will have to lower your expectations and increase your tolerance.

booyhoo · 08/05/2009 13:19

yes, i am expecting the regression, i know i will have to be a lot more forgiving for a while, perhaps its good that this happened now so i can work on it now without the added stress of new baby.

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booyhoo · 08/05/2009 13:19

when i say work on it, i mean my attitude, not ds'

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3littlefrogs · 08/05/2009 13:28

You really have to focus on praise and rewards. Avoid situations that contribute to difficult behaviour. The baby won't care as long as he/she is fed/warm etc.

Second children are usually very easily entertained and easily pleased.

First children are used to having ALL your attention ALL the time. They find the arrival of a "rival" very hard.

cory · 08/05/2009 14:35

I had a really rough time when ds was born and dd was 3.5, partly because I hadn't quite got my head round how her needs would also grow at the same time

and I made life harder for myself by not quite realising how resilient a newborn baby is

she got quite agggressive with him and I felt I had to keep an eye on her all the time

8 years later, they are very fond of each other, despite the occasional tiff/scratch/unfounded accusation/plans for having him adopted by the neighbours

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