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New baby and 3.4 year old........

3 replies

lizzytee · 07/05/2009 09:40

Baby is 5 weeks old and dd1 is focussing all her difficult behaviour on me - throwing food around, being deliberately rough, cannoning into my tummy on purpose (I've had a C/S), arguing the toss about EVERYTHING (bed, toothbrushing, clothes, shoes). DD2 is a placid sort but is feeding all the time and won't really settle with anyone but me so is glued to me a lot of the time and doesn't yet "go down" in the evening. I feel that I'm parenting in a totally negative way, telling dd1 what she shouldn't be doing and permanently angry with her because most of her wind-ups are bang on target. Yet when I try to be patient (which I do about 90% of the time) her behaviour gets worse and worse until I end up using more traditional tactics. I have ended up smacking her twice in two days and really don't feel good about it.....please tell me it gets better!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BriocheDoree · 07/05/2009 10:05

It does get better. Try in whatever way you can to get some time alone with DD1 at the weekend, even if it's just for half an hour - take her to a cafe or just play with her in the garden or whatever. This made all the difference to my DD when DS turned up, and we had a similar age gap. She really wasn't interested in all that "try and involve them in caring for their sibling" malarkey. Now at nearly 5 and nearly 2 they are absolutely adorable together!

dinkystinky · 07/05/2009 12:22

It does get better Lizzytee. My DS1 was 2.10 months when his little brother (now 3 months) and acted up abit as a result of his brother coming - v clingy, wanting mummy to do everything for him, not wanting to go to playgroups, not eating properly, pushing boundaries etc. Always lovely to his baby brother but really acting up with us. Now 3 months later he is so much better as he is used to his little brother being around. I tried to make lots of quality time with DS1 in the first month or so - handing baby over to dad or family/friends when they came to visit so I could play/paint/draw with him - and emphasise what a great big brother he is. Just keep repeating the mummy mantra to yourself - its just a phase, it will pass...

lizzytee · 08/05/2009 03:37

Thanks for the feedback, it's just nice to know you are not going mad......have been concntrating on one to one hugs today which seems to have helped.........

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