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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Very upset 2 year old

17 replies

Poshpaws · 06/05/2009 17:09

Ds3 (2.1 yrs) is exceptionally clingy with me. This has only happened in the last 4-6 months. In public, if I walk away, he starts crying, hysterically sometimes, screaming 'Mummy'.

I left him at the gym creche today (2nd time) and he screamed for me for about 45mins, then fell asleep. When at the school playground, if I have to do something for his brothers, such as take DS2 to the toilet, he will start screaming for me, even though I have left him with mothers who he has known since birth. I always tell him where I am going as well.

This afternoon, I went to pick DS1 up from an afterschool activity and he started so one of the other mothers turned the pushchair around so he could see me and he was STILL screaming and crying.

He is due to start preschool in Sep and I am dreading it. The other two did not do this so this is all new to me.

Any tips would be good.

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randomname · 06/05/2009 18:48

Dont panic my Ds1 started this about the same age he had been happy and confident before, even when left with grandparents who he knows very well he still screamed and ran after me hysterical as if a pack of wolves was about to eat him! It has got easier he is now 2.4 and it hardly happens now, I bought 'Owl babies' which is about mummy going away but coming back to help with anxiety, we read it at bedtime every night. Hang in there he will come out the other side

Original poster

Poshpaws · 06/05/2009 19:05

Thanks randomname. Might just get that book and see if it may help .

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desperatelyseekingsleep · 07/05/2009 13:14

Poshpaws, DS2 is EXACTLY the same (he's 21 months). DS1 was always very independent and happy to go off to nursery etc, so it is such a shock. I too am dreading him going to pre-school. He goes to a childminder's a couple of days a week, and to be honest, its appalling - he screams when I leave him and when I pick him up. At home he's no better. It's got to the point where I have to take him with me to the toilet! I really don't know what the answer is, except to persevere, just accept that its going to take a long time, and maybe try little ways of building up confidence,(like the Owl Babies book). It's so wearing though...

jellybelly25 · 07/05/2009 14:38

I came on to post something about my dd2 (2 last week) and am relieved to find this thread. She has always been pretty attached to me as I'm a sahm and she's used to being with me, but it's off the chart now. She's done a couple of sessions at pre-school and is fine when I am there but screams and wont' even let anyone pick her up when I'm not. She doesn't even pay me any attention when I'm there!

What are your lo's sleep patterns like at the moment? Her sleep is all over the place, I can't figure out what a 'normal' nap time is anymore, and her bedtimes are often terrible when she has always been excellent at going to bed. She often wakes once in the night but is screaming hysterically and shaking with terror when you go in, instead of just needing her dummy or blanket putting over her or whatever simple thing it used to be.

It's all a bit sad

I like the sound of that owl babies book, and glad to hear it may get easier in a few months...

Dawntreader · 07/05/2009 16:30

My (only) two year old daughter went through this on turning two and seems much better now (2 years 3months) - certainly much cheerier and sleeps though the night but takes ages and ages to drop off. Am cutting back nap times to see if works. But if allowed to sleep too long at lunch time is hysterically miserable when woken. Yesterday sobbed for 25 mins when woken, today woke her 15 mins earlier and she was a little ray of sunshine....

Original poster

Poshpaws · 07/05/2009 16:35

Fab. There are more of us .

He sleeps ok. Does wake up in the night once still, but is easy to settle. His daytime nap is hit or miss as sometimes he has one and other times, not.

Was really smug about my other to trotting off without so much as a backward glance. DS3 has come to pay me back big time .

As some of the other toddlers on here seemed to have improved nearer 2.5, I only have another 5 months to suffer...

OP posts:

suwoo · 07/05/2009 16:36

My DS was like that from when the seperation anxiety started at 8 months. He was just as bad at home and had to come into every room with me, I couldn't even pop into the next room for a second.

On his 2nd birthday we found out I was having DC3 and decided DS1 would have to start playgroup. He started in the february as he was 2.2 and was absolutely fine . I was prepared for 6 weeks or so of screaming, but in fact he just cried a tiny bit for the first couple of sessions.

It has really been the making of him and all my friends can't get over what a different child he is . He is moving up to 3 mornings a week in September to give me some time with the baby.

Remember, "this too shall pass".

I was astounded with his progress. Good luck!
HTH

suwoo · 07/05/2009 16:37

Oh and by the way, he has slept through the night once . He can still wake 3 times a night, although is much better lately.

Original poster

Poshpaws · 07/05/2009 16:38

two

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Original poster

Poshpaws · 07/05/2009 16:42

Thanks suwoo. Can't put him into preschool just yet(DS2 already in one but they do not except them until 2.5). Shame, as I think it would help enormously. Glad it worked for your DS.

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jellybelly25 · 07/05/2009 16:51

poshpaws my dd1 was also one of those who didn't bat an eyelid... i was also smug... this is definitely some kind of retribution!

today i have been trying to talk to dd2 and get her excited about pre-school tomorrow morning, she responded to me by saying flatly "mummy you stay there." and i said well i will for a bit but then i'm going to go home and lisa will look after you and then i will come back. and since i said that she has been all over me like a flipping rash, perhaps i overdid it!

how did you who have been successful do the settling in thing? did you say bye or sneak out? did you stay for most of the session and leave for a little bit or leave for the whole time?

suwoo · 07/05/2009 16:54

Definitely say bye, never just go . You have to tell them you'll be back soon. I just make sure he has one of the 'aunties' with him and then I just say I'll see him later and be back soon and then go.

Original poster

Poshpaws · 07/05/2009 17:08

Gah, what is wrong with me! I meant 'accept' not 'except'.

I agree with the saying goodbye and telling them you will be back soon. Does not seem to work with DS3. However, I shall keep plugging away at it.

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jellybelly25 · 07/05/2009 17:27

cool. i have always said bye but one of the staff at the pre school said that perhaps it would be better not to, which i was surprised about as i think it's common 'expert' advice to always say goodbye. anyway we will see if there is any improvement tomorrow...

jellybelly25 · 07/05/2009 17:39

so when is your next session at the creche poshpaws?

Original poster

Poshpaws · 07/05/2009 17:50

Next wed. Am determined to put him in...least of all so that I can sort out my terrible level of fitness

OP posts:

jellybelly25 · 07/05/2009 17:55

haha. that is a good motivating factor. how about you desperatelyseekingsleep? when's the next session?

i am encouraged by what suwoo said though. i hope it does sort itself out i am so much in need of a little protected time i've done 2 years now and i think i am entitled to a little bit of peace now and then! and i truly believe it will be a good thing in the end... i have been feeling really guilty about it in advance of tomorrow, which is just stupid as she will KNOW if I'm feeling bad and that will make her worse.

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