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Is there anything I can do to make DD2 happier to be seperated from me?

3 replies

ArcticLemming · 06/05/2009 12:21

DD1 (3.6) was alway happy to go to anyone, went to nursery at 8m part time and loved it from day 1. She's had a number of childcare changes and has taken them all in her stride, pottering off without a second glance back. DD2 is a different kettle of fish. She's now 18m and has always disliked being seperated from me. She goes to a childminder 2 short days and is now very happy there (it took a lot of time and effort and many abortive sessions to get to this stage) although she still sometimes cries when I actually leave. The CM is the only person I can leave her with apart from DH (luckily she'll occasionally babysit so we can go out!)- she would get completely hysterical if left with someone else even if she knew them.

The situation's not a problem for us, but I wonder if I should be doing anything to help her cope better away from me. She's actually a very confident child in many ways, and is happy to go to groups as long as either the CM or I are there. Having watched the traumas of some of my friend's kids settling in to pre-school, I was wondering if there is anything I could do to try and pre-empt that situation. I was wondering about trying her at a creche or something for short periods regularly over the next year. Do you think that would help her become more confident, or just create unnecesary stress? My gut instinct if to just leave things be until pre-school and manage the situation then, but equally if I can do anything to make things less traumatic I'd like to consider them.
Any thoughts welcome!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MissSunny · 06/05/2009 12:53

Message withdrawn

Martha200 · 06/05/2009 13:57

My children are the same DC 1 who is now 6, never had a problem with being left. He started school by asking me to leave when we walked in, he was so ok about being left!

DC2 is 16mths and he created big time until I adopted a new little teddy as his 'comfort' thing. That was a few weeks ago
and since I did, the creche workers noticed a HUGE improvement in his happy levels whilst I was away

Does she have anything that she might find comfort from? (sorry if this sounds silly and you already have, but with dc1 being so fine about being left.. took me awhile to think of introducing a 'transitional object' for him when I leave, supposedly to help secure feelings.

It's something all children have to face, dealing with Mummy not always been 100% with them of every waking moment! I nearly quit with dc2, once a week I enjoy a swim by myself but he screamed when he saw the creche door!! I decided though, No, I'm not giving up, if we don't have tears now it will only be when he starts pre school and I don't want that in the same fashion as he does now! I have faith in the creche workers and believe it to be good. So fortunately little ted saved my day, and though he still cried a little when I return it's less traumatic for both of us!

As she has time with the CM I wouldn't be worried. She just loves being with Mummy

ArcticLemming · 06/05/2009 14:18

Interesting Martha200. Despite my best efforts to bond her to a comfort toy she's not interested (unlike my older DD who has a much loved one). Will maybe try again with something different.
Thanks for the ideas and reassurance MissSunny - was not too worried now but was thinking of strategy for next year or so. Unfortunately don't have family close that I can use for babysitting,(and who I would be able to build up gradually with) but may look for other options to broaden her horizons!.

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