Help please!!! Toddler tears and tantrums for two hours before eventually going to sleep ...

[MammaMeMe]

Argh, my two and a bit year old DD has just started playing up at bedtime. She does the cutest faces to try for another Charlie and Lola ... another story ... a cuddle

Then tears as she fights going into her gro-bag, doesn't want the light off, doesn't want to be held, cuddled, put in bed ... DH and I finally stopped taking turns trying to calm her at 9.5 tonight - any advice appreciated!

Can you re-think your bedtime routine?

dd1 went through a bad phase around this age, and we realise she was over tired, so moved her bedtime earlier, thought up a new routine, (eg bear in the big blue house, bath, upstairs for stories and milk in our bed, go into her room, turn on lullaby cd, cuddle and sleep) we then told her what the routine was going to be and tried to make it into an event (and were strict to make it the same every night), it has worked pretty well with a bit of tweaking.

We had a lot of trouble with our DD of a similar nature. She wouldn't go into sleeping bag, so we stopped using it, having you tried that? Is she in a bed or a cot? OUr DD hated the cot, moving her to a bed worked really well. We also stopped talking too much to here once we said it was bed times and stuck to a strict routine:

Bath
Milk/supper
3 stories
Lights out
Cuddle
Leave the room

If she came out, we would just show her back to her bed, gently, and say good night then leave again - no discussion.

It took a few nights but it did work and the key was to keep doing the same thing. She got the message and started to feel safe in the routine and 18mths on, we still do the same and she goes to bed at 730pm no probs.

It is horrible, I really hope it sorts out soon for you.

She is still in a sleeping bag and cot and I thought about changing both but hoped she might just get over it as at lunchtime she goes into her cot like a dream and in the mornings won't take her sleeping bag off!

My SIL also scared me by telling me as soon as she moved her twins into beds from cots they gave up daytime sleep ... which I need!

My DD gave up naps around 15mths and TBH it was a relief to us all as she was a pain to get to sleep in the day and then if she did have a nap, didn't want to go to bed at night (not tired enough).

Perhaps you could just try her in her own bed or without the sleeping bag at night. She's not the twins so will do her own thing.

Maybe I better get a cot ... I ventured out and got her a pillow and quilt today as she loves snuggling under them so maybe ...

We had horrible bedtimes that went until 10 every night until we gave up ds's nap. Now he goes down easy, but wakes up much earlier, so I'm still not sure if it was worht it.

Our 2.5 yr old was the same - it is horrible - until we finally worked this out because a friend told us he did it for his son...we do bath, books etc, then I get him in his cot and stroke his hand for a few minutes with the light off, and I tell him "if you stay lying down and keep really quiet, I will come back in 5 minutes." And then i come back every few minutes or longer until he is asleep. It took about a week for him to get it, and at first he would still cry and shout, so I had to stand outside the door and say "I will come in when you are quiet." But now he is usually quiet when I leave the room and often asleep by the time I go in for the first or second check.
Good luck!

I know it doesn't suit everyone,but we stay with dd1 and 2 until they fall asleep, it only takes a few minutes (dd2 - 2)has short nap in day, and dd1 doesn't have one. It used to take longer, but now they have a really set toutine, they seem to go to sleep pretty quickly. We tried everything before we ended up doing this, but dd1 would scream so much she made herself wheezy and sick (she has asthma), they share a room so this would upset dd2, and the evenings were loooong!

I worried about the whole 'making a rod for your own back thing', but after reading 'The No Cry Sleep Solution' by Elizabeth Pantley I felt a lot more relaxed about it all which helped. I really recommend this book, as it has a very gentle approach to sleep issues.

Howabout she doesn't get the Charlie and Lola story until she's in her grobag, in cot?