SWEARING/ 4 YEAR OLD

[chezie]

My 4 and a half yr old DS has just learned the F word.... we think he was just rhyming words, muck, duck etc but a well meaning relative took him to one side and said it was a very naughty word. This has made the option of ignoring it impossible. He doesn't say it constantly because he knows how bad the word is. The first time I heard it i told him it was a nasty word ( he actually told me people wernt allowed to say it.. thats when the situation first came to my attention ) and then I made him promise not to say that word again.
The next time he said it I totally hit the roof.
Please can someone help and tell me the best way to handle this situation. The last thing we want is him going to nursery and teaching the other children this awfull word.

My DS was saying this word alot 6months ago, i tried ignoring it but that did.nt work, so i told him that it is a horrible word and that it made me and everyone else sad, i said it in a sad voice with a said look on my face and repeated it a few times, and he never said it again.

Don't hit the roof, be calm, don't react (sod the relative) and he will give up. My ds KNOWS fuck is apparently a bad word but he mostly doesn't bother with it since it doesn't get a reaction from me really other than 'don't say that please.' He does know I think other words are far worse, like stupid and shut up and 'whatever' especially when accompanied by teenage shrugs.

Hmm, apart from one memorable tantrum in public about 2 years ago (he's 7.5 now so was 5.5) where he lay on the floor in a public car park, next to a family of 3 getting in the next car (it was Bicton Park in Devon, do admit if if you were that family!) kicking his legs in the air and screaming at the top of his voice "You fucking bastards." The family looked so so shocked and I have to admit I was v cross then but more because it was public humiliation, if we'd have been at home I'd have ignored him.

He learned that from hearing my ex ils use it about various relatives btw, he didn't learn it from me.

Bjut I admit he will have heard me use the f word, put my hands up to that one.

Thanks to you all for the advice. WICKEDWATERWITCH.. No I wasnt the family parked next to you in Devon. ha ha. It sounds almost funny when its someone elses child, and if I heard some other child use the F word I would be quite philosophical about it (they learn it sooner or later, they hear it in the streets or at school) you know what I mean . but I would be so upset if he is the one who teaches the kids at nursery to say the word every parent dreads to hear. Some of the mums are quite snooty and I'm sure they would think I were "dragging" my kids up instead of "bringing" them up

If you have BBC3 you might want to watch House of tiny tearaways that starts tonight and goes throughout may.

In week 3 there is a boy who swears like 'an old fish wife' (the words of Dr Tanya Byron) and they use time outs to break him out of it.

You will know the meaning of public embarrasment if you see this boy

WWW, I have to admit to sitting here laughing at your ds, just something about seeing in in print makes it funny - sorry! (quite agree about the public humilation though, when you're at home those situations can be handled differently, can't they).

oh yes, they all do it. The best thing is to ignore it, or if that doesn't work as has already been said nothing works better than a bit of emotional blackmail. Mummy is really sad when you say that. Fab stuff. That's what I love about parenting.... bribery, corruption, blackmail and it's all legitimate.

I couldn't agree more with all that fab advice. i also unfortunatly had the experiance of ex ils teaching ds2 (then 3) to call me an assortment of wonderful names and i will admit at the time i did not react well, i have learnt better since and can now take my own advice and ignore it , but too bad for them when i calmly blocked ds2's ears and told them what i really thought of them for teaching my little angel to say swear words. lets just say i would have had no one to blame about his previous language had he heard me!!!

My Dd is 4, she knows a few 'naughty words' and doesn't say them, even when she's angry. She does, however, tell me or her dad off when she catches us using 'naughty words'!