Ds is obsessionally collecting and hiding things - help.

[frustratedmom]

How do i deal with a 4 yo who obsessionally collects and hides things. Some things are rescued from the bin, the majority are things are other people's possessions and often of high significance (eg electrical toothbrushes, lamps, dvd's, phones, empty boxes - everything and anything.)

Can anyone help as not sure how to deal with this one. Is it important that he also has sleep issues? (see my son might not need sleep but i do). Any advice this is relatively new (approximately into 3rd month) and has been mostly ignored and the retrievel of items done quietly. Is this the right approach? is this a phase? is this normal for the age group?

How obsessionally? Would he get very distressed if you took them away? Does it interfere with other kinds of activities in his life?

What does he say about the sleep issues? Does he seem to be anxious?

Are other people in your family like this at all?

it sounds a bit odd to me tbh.

esp the taking things out of the bin. I mean, my 4 yr old does hoard a lot of crap, and mostly likes to take it to bed with him. but he wouldn't take things I had told him not to, and I don't think he'd take stuff out of the bin.

My ds2 did this - it drove us MAD. Watches, glasses, TV zappers, that sort of thing. Once we found three lighters and a sharp knife under his bed

he has gradually stopped doing it, although he is still light-fingered and moves things that belong to other people. He broke the computer and three ornaments the other day by climbing up to try and steal chocolate form a high shelf. And he boke my glasses this morning because he couldn't keep his little fingers off them and then forgot they were there and trod on them

he's a very sunny-natured and well-adjusted little chap though, I've never worried about it per se - he's just light-fingered

he is boarderline ASD and this might be part of the problem. my parents are horders but not sercretive about it. he has only recently developed attachment to me and toys. previously he couldn't care less if things were there or not.
he can be violent if confronted so any approaches about behaviour need to be handled carefully and in a non accusational manor. eg have you seen x instead of have you taken x etc.
He is currently obsessional about anything he can make and do with. which might explain the rubbish bit.
I don't think it affects his general life but i am wondering if it is something he does for security (eg something to make him feel closer to people or if he feels stress)

Just doesnt sleep doesnt seem to need it doesnt sleep through could be insecurity issue but dont know what about or how to deal with

If you have spoken to someone about the borderline ASD thing it might be worth mentioning the collecting/hoarding to them?

we have just had a CAF meeting and the medical profession have copmpletely washed their hands and let school take over. The problem is that until he hits the school system there is no proper instition opion and i have done a lot of work to resolve most of the issues that have arisen.
SO by the time he starts school I suspect he will have most of the coping strategies he needs to cover up most of the symptoms as he is rather bright and picks up techniques and approaches quickly. EG when stressed he struggles with clothing contacting his skin but has now learnt it is not appropriate in most situations and copes by taking off what acceptable or takes himself into his bedroom to play naked until he is ready to put clothes back on. Something we have been working on for nearly 9 months, before it clicked.