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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

My 18mth old is nodding / shaking his head to questions ... but not talking

19 replies

likessleep · 03/05/2009 20:49

Anyone else's done this?
He's saying 'mama' and 'dada' and 'daidy' (for upsy daisy), but that's all.
But over last week, he shakes his head when we ask him questions. Today he nodded after his lunch when DH asked him if he wanted to go to bed . He went down without any problem.
Not really sure what I am asking, but it just seems odd that he has started to communicate in this way, I guess I assumed basic speech would come first?
I wonder now he can point, drag us towards and now nod and shake his head, whether he'll ever talk
Any similar experiences?
Thanks

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thisisyesterday · 03/05/2009 20:51

yep. my 18m old says:
do (dog)and
dut (duck)

that is IT. nothing else. he understand everything, he just doesn't talk lol.

Original poster

likessleep · 03/05/2009 20:55

thanks thisisyesterday. just the nodding of the head freaked me out a bit today (in a nice way, but still was quite a new thing for him!)

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HeinzSight · 03/05/2009 20:58

have you considered taking him to sing and sign classes? I've been taking my DD since she was 7 months, she's now 19 months. It's recognised as being very good for speech development and confidence.

wrinklytum · 03/05/2009 21:00

i think sometimes it is easier to gesture (point,nod,shake head)than to form actual words.

18 Months is still very young and the fact he can say mama/dadda/daidy is an excellent sign.

dd is 3.5 and has severe speech problems.She has learned sign language to communicate as a replacement for speech which she cannot do.

If it helps i think your little one is doing fine for his age and wiull soon be developing more speech.IIRC SALT would say that as long as they have 3 words AS MINIMUM Aat 2 and are making lots of babble and gestures you have no problems.hth.

Original poster

likessleep · 03/05/2009 21:02

thanks heinzsight - i did consider that a while ago and i never got around to it and now i think he may be a bit old to start now?
thing is we know exactly what he wants - he points and says 'uh uh uh', or pulls us towards an item / the door if he wants to go out / into kitchen. now with the nodding and shaking head, it's like all of his needs are met through non-verbal communication!
he has a very mischievous grin on when he nods, almost like he's learnt a new trick. very funny. i think i do nod and shake my head a lot, so i shouldn't be surprised really.

i am not bothered about his speech - i think he'll start when he's good and ready. just nodding and shaking feels intuitively like it should come after speech. IYSWIM?

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thisisyesterday · 03/05/2009 21:07

yeh mine nods and shakes his head, and he points, and he takes me to the kitchen and points at what food he wants lol

Original poster

likessleep · 03/05/2009 21:07

oh wrinklytum (love your name btw!), thank you for posting. i hope that your daughters speech continues to improve. i guess it must be lovely to communicate with her through sign, after i'm sure a tough couple of years. sorry if my post was insensitive

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HeinzSight · 03/05/2009 21:09

I don't think it would be too late to go to Sing and Sign. You could go to the 2nd stage class with the older ones

reducedfatkettlechip · 03/05/2009 21:14

By age 2, children should be putting a couple of words together. Most, not all, have a minimum of 50 single words at this time. I had ds1 referred to SALT at 2 as he wasn't combining words, ds2 has been doing this since 16 months but I think he's the other end of the scale.

The nodding is an especially positive sign - that's a hard concept for children to get, so it sounds as though his non verbal communication is coming along well, and speech will probably start to follow very soon. There's plenty of time for him yet, but if he's not saying more at 2, I'd give your HV or SALT a call for advice. (bet you don't need to though!)

wrinklytum · 03/05/2009 21:14

God,no I didn't think it was insensitive at all,I often put in my twopenceworth on threads like these because I want people to be reassured if things do sound fine,there is a really big spectrum of "normal" at this age and so many people post with concerns because their little one is saying very little at this age whereas little Jimmy two doors down is speaking in sentences or somesuch.My first was an early talker and was doing this but was a later developer in physical things.As long as the child is using lots of babble and so on and there are no evident medical/hearing issues by 2.5-3 they are generally all chatting away on a par
with each other and then they hit the "Why" stage and you wish there was an "off" button .

(dd said "Mumma" the other day which had me grinning like a loon all day!!!)

wrinklytum · 03/05/2009 21:17

"Sing and sign" is fab.DD loved it

Also "Something special" on cbeebies if you do fancy learning a few signs

HeinzSight · 03/05/2009 21:18

Oh yes 'Something Special' is brilliant!!! DD is always saying more 'ecial more 'ecial'

smellen · 03/05/2009 21:19

Made me laugh when I read Thisisyesterday's post as our 16mth also only says about 4 words (and they all sound like variations on "duck"), but nods/shakes head and points to what he wants. Total opposite from DS1 (who had half a dozen words by the age of 9mths and never shuts up now). Far from being worried, I'm relieved that it's likely we'll not have another 3 yo who answers back

Seriously, I don't think you should worry at this stage. If you can see that he understands what you're asking him (through his actions) then as long as you're exposing him to lots of clear, simple speech, he should widen his vocabulary gradually. As for whether nodding and shaking of heads should come before or after speech, I guess it just depends on the age at which the child acquires verbal language. If they are late(r) talkers, then necessarily the non-verbal communication is going to come first.

Original poster

likessleep · 04/05/2009 08:55

thank you for all of your posts, very reassuring.i wonder if it's because i'm always talking, he can't get a word in edgeways it is nice now he is nodding / shaking his head, as it feels he is communicating in another way to screeching and kicking his arms and legs!
he's only been walking in the last couple of months and climbing stairs / climbing on settee etc etc, so i think he's been focusing on his physical movement more than other areas. i am hoping the start of more words may reduce the hourly tantrums we are having at the moment!
thanks so much for posting

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fledtoscotland · 04/05/2009 11:42

thanks for posting this likessleep

DS1 is 19months and he only says daddy, cat, ta and bin (unsure where bin has come from). am fed up to the back teeth with people saying that he should be talking by now and it makes me doubt my skills in assessing him and his development. he can nod and shake his head, is selectively deaf, gestures and can identify things when asked to point to the dog/cat/fish etc.

wrinklytum - thanks for the advice about the number of words before two.

PieceNharmoknee · 04/05/2009 14:27

dd is 18 months almost. She can mama,dada, and something which sounds like 'whatsthat/wherethat'. She was saying nana (banana) for a bit but seems to have stopped.

She points, nods and shakes her head. Understands everything we say to her but just isnt saying it back yet.

Glad to know shes not the only one

PieceNharmoknee · 04/05/2009 14:29

Did I just read that most children can say 50 words by the time they are I cant imagine dd learning to say 40 plus words in the next 6 months

moocowmrs · 04/05/2009 14:43

DS did not talk till way after his second birthday, only had a few words at two and now is never quiet ! in fact I wonder what I was worried about really but at the time it felt like such a issue at the time. I was refered to "talking together" which was run by the sure start service in our area via the health visiting team, that was fantastic they popped round to our house with a bag of toys, puppets etc each week, with song / activity sheets and taught us how to focus on language development and developing DS speach, it was great and we accessed in very quicky ! DS loved the special attention, stickers etc !

Talking is such a big mile stone and everyone we met seemed to be judging me and ds for is lack of speach but don't worry there is lots of help out there if you need it and I am sure it will come in time !

fledtoscotland · 04/05/2009 19:13

moocowmrs - i think thats it exactly. everyone is judging because DS1 isnt talking yet. it makes you worry (hopefully unnecessarily) and compare your DC to others

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