Advice About My Son Would Be Great

[JillValentine]

i have a 6 year old son, and in the last 2 years he has become unbearable with his attitude and aggression at home. I have spoke to his teacher and he is good as gold at school.

the thing is he used to be such a sweet and loving little boy who always showed affection for the family. but now he is always angry. we have moved a few times since he has been born but its only since that last and final move that he has become like this. could this be the reson.

i have tried to get him in to see a counselor but they told me he doesnt have a history of mental health issuses so they wont see him but he is only 6 so how could he have a history.

i just want my son back the way he used to be, any advice would be great thank you.

Mandy

Goodness - where to start?

I am so sorry you are having such an unhappy time.

Lots of house moves can be very unsettling for small children.

The key thing is communication. Will he talk to you about his feelings?

Does he draw pictures? What does his teacher say about his art work/pretend play/conversations/ friendships? There can be a lot of clues there.

Of course it may not be anything to do with the move. Is he eating/sleeping ok? Is he in any pain? Even things like food allergy/intolerance, or tummy pain from constipation can cause real behaviour issues.

Keeping a diary might give you some clues to possible contributing/connected factors.

Forgot to say - what are other relationships in the family like? Are there any tensions or other reasons that he might feel insecure?

hi thank you for your reply hun, he will not talk to me about his feelings when i sit him down to ask him when he is always angry he just replies i dont know.

he doesnt draw much but when he does its always a happy family. his teacher says he is very helpful at school but doesnt see any reason he would act like he does at home and she was shocked when i told her.

his eating is normal but sleeping i cant really comment on as he has never slept a whole night with out waking up in his live so now i just think the sleeping has become a habit that i his body has got in to.

family realtionships we dont treat him any different from his siser, but he is constantly picking on her so most of the time she will hit out at him but she is only four so he hits her back.

i might try making a diary that might show the doctor and get him in to see someone.

Hi Jill, when I was worried about my ds the GP referred me to family therapy - our difficulties were different, my ds was lashing out and angry both at home and at school, he reacts like this to change, and found the beginning of Yr 2 very difficult.

Somebody on mumsnet a while ago mentioned that she thought children can react angrily to change. When was your last house move, was it two years ago and coincided with the start of his being angry?

thank you hun, we have been in our current house 2 years in july, as far as i can remember it started not long after we moved here, then2 months later he started full time school so there was alot of change for him. i mentioned his behavour to our gp and no one will help me i am just feeling so down not nowing what has changed my once sweet and loving little boy

What about his relationship with his dad?

Jill, looking back on your last post I can see you're thinking of going back to your GP anyway, that's what I would have suggested.

At my ds's school they have an Emotional Support Literacy Assistant, she helps children deal with anger and other issues. If you have someone similar at your ds's school it may be worth having a word with that person or the SENCO, even if it's not relevant for school, maybe they can suggest a few strategies.

Do you think he has worries about school or friendships that he's keeping to himself?

It seems a long time since your house move, has he made many new friends, or has your move been in the same area?

I hope you manage to help him - take care.

3littlefrogs he has a good realationship with his dad he is a real daddy's boy. but like every parent and child they have their moments when they clash .

chocolateismyonlyweakness yes i am thinking of taking him for a second opion at my gp, he has made a few friends here he has one other little boy that he would rather play with, thanks for your help hun take care

It is really hard to work out what is going on. Perhaps the school could help with regard to referral for family counselling? Or maybe try another GP at your practice?

Good luck. He sounds unhappy, and you are obviously very worried about him.