When would/did you let your DCs cross quiet roads by themselves?

[policywonk]

DP and I are having a polite disagreement about whether or not DS1 (6) should be allowed to cross our cul-de-sac by himself. He spends a lot of time outside after school on his bike, and I don't want to have to stand there for hours on end supervising him; nor do I want to insist that he comes indoors and watches telly instead.

I think that 6 is old enough to cross our (prety quiet) road, so long as he looks both ways etc. I also think he's old enough to start taking these small steps towards independence.

DP (who does a lot less of the childcare) thinks he's too young.

It depends how used he is to crossing roads. Mine walked everywhere from being tiny, and knew the drill for crossing roads from the age of about 18 months. So, they were easily capable of crossing a quiet/safe-ish road safely by the age of 5 and did. (I would just send them down to the end of the street to post a letter or something.)

I know some 10 yr-olds who get mummy-chauffeur-driven everywhere and have no road sense whatsoever!

I think 6 is old enough to cross a quiet residential road. You can test him out anyhow and get your DH to do so too, to give him confidence that your son will do it properly.

My son did this at that age. I would let him (now 10) walk to school by himself if it weren't for the awful junction he'd have to cross near his school.

Thanks roisin

We walk most places, and have done since DS1 was little. He's pretty clear about the drill, I think - and he's become a lot less impulsive recently.

The issue is slighly complicated because there are so many parked cars in our road - there are almost no completely clear bits of pavement, so he has to edge forwards between parked cars to check that the road is clear. But then that's the case in a lot of residential roads these days, I suppose.

Thanks Lupusina - that's a good idea about getting DP to test him on it - maybe I'll just tell DS1 that he has to show DP that he's capable of doing it.

7 is the accepted age, isnt it?
dd2 aged 5 is too young - she sometimes forgets to look both ways!

DD learnt how to cross roads in France when she was 5. We would sit outside the Bar/Tabac and she would cross into the square - it was a junction of 3 roads, very very quiet, very few cars.

Depends on the child
ds ...no (when he was 6)..he didn't do it untill he was 10.
dd yes (she's 6 now and has just started doing this)

depends on the child. But the official advice is not before the age of 7

Thank you for your opinions. It seems like we're in the right ball park in terms of beginning to think about this issue.

It's interesting that two of you say '7' - can you tell me what the source of this official advice is? (Not doubting you, just would be interested to read the advice.)

Well, if you really want it, I've just been looking at the official advice on road crossing at direct.gov.uk. You can also access info direct from the department for transport... The official opinion seems to be that children can't really cross the road safely by themselves until they are at least 8 years old, although Road Safety Matters guides seem to be aimed at the 7-11 age group, which is clearly the time frame within which road safety is taught in schools.

Obviously, an extremely quiet road is very different to a busy one, but I think the relatively old age advised for safe road crossing is due to the fact that young children, however sensible and careful they are, have not developed the ability to judge how far away, or fast, a moving object is - ie they cannot safely assess whether a car is likely to hit them or not before they start crossing. I guess this shouldn't stop a very careful, sensible 6-year old from crossing a road safely if there is absolutely nothing in hearing or seeing distance when they cross over, but if anything did happen, I guess you might be considered blameworthy for allowing it.

policywonk I agree with you. Independence and the steps towards it are so vital.

DS2 is 6 and is allowed to cross our quiet road if I am looking.

Not without me being there yet tbh, but it's not a cul de sac which is a lot safer.

Often it depends on time of day doesn't it - ie is it when people are coming home or is it still pretty quiet?

If DS1 (9) and DD (7) were walkign ahead of me, I wouldn't have a problem with them crossign side roads on the way.

In fact every Sat am I am coaching football and they are usuallly there, and pop off to cross a couple of small quiet roads to get to the local shop (to buy Match Attax etc). Not sure DS2 would be allowed that yet.

Thank you poater, I will have a look.

Thanks also Clary!

Maybe I am being a bit ambitious about his abilities.

I let my DS (6 nearly 7) come home on his own from tennis which is right across from our house, on a v. quiet road. I can see him out of the window and my heart is in my mouth. But he is so delighted with himself and incredibly sensible when he is doing it. I am a firm believer that children are more capable than generally they are given credit for and they do need to be able to think for themselves - and it is a strange feeling to suddenly realise no-one is going to tell you whether its safe to cross the road and you have to do it yourself. But also a very important progression. I know I used to walk to and from school on my own at 6 and it was not considered unusual.

ps ironically, it's in the "Road Safety for Children Under Six" Directgov information (rather than the info for 7-11 year olds) that they say a child can't cross a road safely until they are at least 8!

Yes, I saw that poater! It does seem strangely prescriptive (not to mention being in the wrong category).

Peas - it's a bit like passing your driving test and then realising that you're actually going to have to drive places without a sensible adult with dual controls in the seat next to you, isn't it? You can't start to be a really competent driver until you've done it by yourself a few times.

You're right that we all used to do this stuff without giving it a second thought - I know I was pootling up to our local shops at this age (which involved crossing one quiet road). I suppose the difference is the sheer volume of traffic these days, and the number of cock-monkeys who drive around residential streets at excessive speeds.

Anyway, I think I'm going to have a talk with DS, and maybe play some of the games on the DirectGov site with him. Maybe I'll put him in 'charge' of road-crossing decisions on our way to school (short walk but involves loads of tricky crossings) to give him lots of practice.

We did that for a long time once we came back to England, before we let dd - now 9 - cross on her own. She felt very responsible and was incredibly careful because she was in charge of all of us crossing

My Oldest is 7. he doesn't have the sense to cross the road. He shakes his head L & R pretending to look! for my benefit! It's shocking.
As I'm in the city twice a week (where I grew up) and watch the children riding bikes on the roads and crossing them un-supervised. I believe my DC's lack of road sense is down to me!

We are now in the sticks, in a cul-de-sac as well.