6 year old daughter likes pressing her crotch up against things. HELP!!!!

[binkybibble]

Hi, new to this but in desperate need of suggestions as have gone through everything we can think of to try and stop her doing this.
For some time now our daughter when seated at a desk tenses her body up. (arms locked on table and bottom wriggling) we all refer to this as squdging. Apparently it gives her a nice sensation between her legs and thats why she does it. It happens more times at school (obviously because shes at a desk all day) and the teachers are constantly asking her to stop. Not sure that shes even aware shes doing it at the time. Anyway, we have tried everything to stop her doing this but to no avail. Very worried that this behavior will continue and it will get to a point when the other children will notice and start making rude comments. Has anyone else had this sort of problem and managed to sort it out or did it just run its course?. L has been doing it for about 3 years so far!!!!. Anyway any feedback would be great. Many Thanks

I read in Gina Ford (stands back waiting for booing and hissing to begin!!) that lots of babies and young children do this purely because the sensation offers them comfort. Apparently it was seen more in babies when the advice was to put them to sleep on their front. I would suggest that distraction might be an option. Maybe asking her to fetch something when it starts, getting her engrossed in somrthing active which does not involve sitting. Maybe she needs something else to provide her with additional comfort like a special new teddy or something similar. It is tricky because the teachers constantly telling her to stop will make her feel self conscious and therefore need to self comfort - hence a cycle begins. I would say - ignore and distract.

My DD, aged 3, also does this- exactly as you describe. I have always taken the "ignore and distract" approach and was relatively unconcerned until her nursery brought it up. Up until then I assumed all little girls did it to varying degrees.

I took her to the GP who was absolutely no help. She did offer to refer her to a pediatric psychologist but I felt it was too much at this stage.

I am hoping mothers of older daughters will come along with advice.

bump

Don't worry about this too much, it's the sensation that feels nice, she isn't aware of what it means. I would tell her that it's OK to do this but in private as it's a private thing just for her. Don't make a big deal of it.

Thanks. Sorry to Binkybibble for the hijack.

Thanks for the advise, will try the keep it private approach and see if this works. Teachers actually had to take her chair away for awhile this week as she was doing it so much!!

Thanks to all for the advice. Will try the keep it private approach and see if this works. Teachers actually took her chair away for awhile this week as she was doing it so often!!!

binky, as you are new I hope you don't mind me gently pointing out that threads such as these, for a first thread, might be seen as a bit suspicious?

Sorry if I'm out of order here, but I read the title, saw this was your first post and was just a little worried.

I used to do this in supermarket trolley seats when I was 2 or 3 . My mother called it 'thrutching'! She told me that it ought to be kept private, but it made me very aggrieved because I didn't have a trolley in my bedroom . I just grew out of it when I got too big for trolley seats.

But Rhubarb, what is an acceptable first post? I have been thinking of posting something similar for ages.

erm, I used to do this too

My mum used to humiliate me about it and made me feel like it was something dirty. As a very young girl I didn't know any better.

My mum's reaction only served to make me not trust her and make me feel bad about myself. AAs I grew older I simply grew out of doing it (in public).

My dd too has done this on and off for some years, the difference between mine and yours is that dd is aware she is doing it, so I told her a couple of years ago that there is nothing wrong in doing it if it feels nice, just sometimes there are things that are done in private and not in public. Does she realise at all she is doing it? Do the teachers give her a hard time about it? If it is a comfort thing and she only does it at school is she worried about something at school?

Rhubarb Why do you think this is so .. erm ... suspicious?

I didn't say it was an unacceptable first post. But I've been on Mumsnet long enough to just be a little wary of such posts. Normally newbies lurk a little first, then respond to a few posts before plunging in.

As the OP states she is new and this is her very first post, I was erring on the side of caution.

But as she's responded well to the advice and hasn't asked for more experiences, I withdraw my suspicions. Just call me Mrs Cynical!

My little girl used to do same thing as did I apparently.

She first started pushing against the straps in her car seat when she was about 6 or 7 months old, I was terrified, I thought she was having a fit, little did I know what she was up to! She carried on occasionally for years, always in the car. I used to worry because she'd hold her breath while she did it. She started doing it at bedtime too and by this time I'd worked out what she was up to.

So when she able to understand I had a quiet, cosy chat about how certain things are best kept private and 'just for her'. That there was nothing wrong with something that felt nice and everyone felt nice sometimes but it was better to keep it confined to her room/private/just hers.

My mum says I used to do it in my cot, up against the bars. I'd wake them up, they'd look over wondering what the noise and say "oh it's only J wanking" and go back to sleep

i cant see what is dodgy about asking this question on your first post. ask away. thats the whole point of mumsnet